You’ve Changed

I was standing at the stove the other day, toasting some cumin over low heat (just long enough for it to become fragrant- not too dark), when I suddenly had an out-of-body experience. Who was this woman, patiently coaxing the flavors out of Indian spices on a Tuesday night? This woman who, 2 years ago,  would have been hard pressed to boil a pot of water, let alone cook an entire meal of food. 

I floated above myself, taking in the olive oil, chopped fresh parsley and other detritus of the World’s Most Involved Potato Salad strewn around me. Clearly, I was no longer resident in my own body- I had been possessed by the demon of The Pioneer Woman, doomed to make twice-baked potatoes and blackberry cobbler for the boys on the ranch until the cows came home.

But then I thought back on my other culinary exploits over the past few months- the dry-rubbed salmon; the homemade salsa, the ambitious (and indulgent) mini NutellaCheesecakes-

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Awww yeah

and I felt an unexpected surge of pride. Could it be that I have actually grown to like cooking?

This episode forced me to reflect back on some of the other changes I’ve made over the past few years. There’s the ironing. The regular yoga attendance. Somewhere along the way I miraculously developed an ability to drink in moderation. I’m engaged to be married. I even have a wedding website for god’s sakes. A WEDDING WEBSITE.

Shortly after coming to this realization, I was walking down Queen Street West, internally debating the merits of monogrammed cocktail napkins, when I was stopped dead in my tracks by this sign:

Immediately, a wave of shame washed over me.

It felt like a giant, accusatory finger pointing directly into my soul.

HOW DID  IT KNOW? Was the yuppie, grown-upness emanating from my pores really that pungent? Someone must have told it about that time I did a juice cleanse.

I’ll be honest, part of the reason I’ve been absent from blogging for so long is that I feel like I no longer fully identify with my former BreezyK persona. When I read back on old posts about crying into my poutine at 3am, I laugh (cause let’s face it, I was hilarious), but with a sort of detached objectivity. The girl who wrote those words no longer feels like me, but a lovable, misguided younger sister.. sort of like Cameron Diaz In Her Shoes. (Aughties movie reference anyone?).

And it’s partially a fear of being told by my readers and friends exactly what that billboard asserted that has kept me away.

“You’ve changed”. It’s a loaded statement. Rarely uttered in a positive tone, and often followed by a long, judgmental silence, it typically implies that the speaker liked the “old you” better.

Would people accept the new, wedding-planning, green-juice-drinking BreezyK? Or would they mourn the passing of my lonely, junk-food-binging single girl persona? Would they think of me as a hypocrite? a phony? Or, worst of all, basic? 

I cursed this stupid billboard, whose entire purpose seemed to be thrusting passersby into shameful spirals of self-reflection.

And then I had another thought: Maybe…. just maybe… I was projecting. Maybe this billboard wasn’t accusatory at all, but more of a silent high-five, congratulating you on finally getting your sh*t together.

Because to be honest, the old me kinda had some room for improvement. I started this blog when I was 25. 25! That’s like, Miley Cyrus + 2. Now that I’m staring down the barrel of 30, it would be slightly concerning if I was still unable to cook, clean, do laundry or pay any of my bills on time.

Sure more of my life is devoted to grown-up pursuits like doing hand-written thank you notes and seasonally rotating my closet, but deep down, I’m still the same old BreezyK. I still watch more reality TV than I’m proud of. I still deeply prefer books to human interaction. And god damn if I still don’t love me a good cat meme.

Hehe.

Maybe I’ve changed, but I think I’ve changed for the better. And the biggest part of me that still needs to change? The part that gives a sh*t what people think about it.

Question of the day: Has anyone ever told you you’ve changed? How did you feel?

Featured post

Writing 101: I Immediately Regret This Decision

In an effort to tone down the Big Brother PVR marathons and get myself writing and blogging more regularly, I signed up for  the WordPress“Writing 101″ course-  a daily challenge to help you build a writing habit and push you as a writer.  The course kicked off today with the following challenge: 

Take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.

And for your first twist? Publish this stream-of-consciousness post on your blog.

Ummm….

I’ll start by saying that the idea of this challenge makes me feel physically ill. I spend days conceptualizing, drafting and over-thinking each blog post I write, eliciting feedback from my family, friends and long-suffering boyfriend before ultimately hitting “publish”. And while I know I make it look easy (AKA: it’s not very good), each word, celebrity reference and hilarious GIF are meticulously chosen to complete the whole, random picture.

I’ve often wished I could take a more “stream of consciousness” approach to this whole blogging thing- to stop considering each of my posts as little darlings, and instead just focus on getting more out there. Often I’m paralyzed by self-doubt and insecurity, allowing completed posts to sit in my drafts folder for weeks after dubbing them not funny/interesting/well written enough to be published. I don’t really know what my problem is. It’s not like I’m trying to get shortlisted for the Man Booker prize. No one has offered to turn my blog into a best-selling short story collection (YET).

I am both in awe and admiration of bloggers who manage to post several times a week. Katie, for example is killer at that. Every time I check her blog there’s a new, charming and hilarious post. Dam*it Katie!! I would hate you if you weren’t so sweet and lovable. I tried once to post a blog every day for a month (last year, in October) and it was, as the French would say, un désastre  complet. I started out with lots of gusto, but by the end of things, I was posting random Youtube songs and long soliloquies about my favourite kind of Halloween candy .

Well- my 20 minutes is almost up (I spent 10 of it looking for that awesome Ron Burgundy GIF), so I guess the secret behind posting regular, engaging content will remain a mystery to me – much like Twitter, and how some people manage to leave part of their dessert uneaten.  

Until next time!

Question of the Day: Do you ever blog “stream of consciousness” thoughts? Or is every post meticulously planned? 

My Summer Reading List

For those of you who were wondering, I am still reading.

Granted, not to the same (crazy) extent as last year. I have decided not to read 52 books in one year again, because let’s be honest-

Plus, I want to take the time to enjoy what I’m reading a bit more.

Currently my total is hovering somewhere around 15, and I’m totally ok with that- because you know what they say….

But with summer now in full swing, I figured it was time to pick up some new reads. Specifically, light, fun ones- perfect for laying on the beach or lounging by the pool (or, in my case, sitting in my air conditioned condo and crowded office food court. Man I need a vacation).

So I ordered a few gems from Amazon- and since I have nothing better to do besides sit on my front steps and wait patiently until they arrive, I thought I’d share my summer reading list with all of you guys.

The Vacationers by Emma Straub 

When a Manhattan family sets out on a two week summer vacation to the beautiful island of Mallorca, what could possibly go wrong?

….Infidelity, heartbreak, delusion and scandal, that’s what!

Billed as a fluffy summer read made substantial by the “exceptional wit, insight, intelligence and talents of its author”, I can’t wait to crack into this puppy .

I am Having So much Fun Here Without You by Courtney Maum

A “reverse love story” set in London and Paris, I am Having So Much Fun Here Without You tells the tale of Richard, a 34-year-old British artist trying to win his wife back after a brief “ellipsis” with an American mistress.

Still, I’m excited to watch him try.

The Girl Who Was Saturday Night by Heather O’Neill

19-year-old twins Nicholas and Nouschka Tremblay are the offspring of Quebec folk singer, and notorious playboy, Etienne Tremblay. They spent their childhood in the public eye; simultaneously performing with him and being abandoned by him. Now they are grown up and making their own mistakes on the streets of referendum-era Montreal – all of which ending up in the French Canadian tabloid Allo Police.

It’s a coming-of-age tale with a hefty dose of family drama (which sounds pretty much like my own life) so I’m excited to check it out

My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff

At twenty-three, a starry-eyed Joanna Rakoff moves to New York with dreams of becoming a writer. Instead, she winds up in a crappy Williamsburg apartment with a job as assistant to the literary agent for J.D. Salinger. Her task is to answer Salinger’s endless amount of fan-mail with a stock response. As she gets into it, however, she becomes inspired and starts crafting her own replies.

It’s a memoir about literary New York in the late 90’s, and the coming-of-age tale of a now successful writer.

Maybe I’ll be inspired? Naah. I’ll probably just sit on the couch and watch more Extreme Weight Loss. 

Question of the Day: What’s on your summer reading list?

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How to Read 52 Books In One Year (Without Going Insane)

I just finished reading my first book of 2014 – Barney’s Version by Mordechai Richler.

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It was excellent. Romantic, captivating, hilarious, and uniquely Canadian, I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great read.

(Or, you could always just watch the film. I won’t tell.)

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Anyway, as I delve into book #2 of the year (A Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man… which I’m reading solely so I can use the term “Joycean”), I’m considering making a similar reading goal to last year.

As you may already know (because I can’t get enough of saying it), I read 52 books in 2013. Insane? Maybe; but it also was really great for me. Not only did having a goal keep me reading regularly, it also helped my writing, as well as my general conversation skills.

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I’m not going to say it was easy, because honesty there were times I thought I’d rather glue my eyelids open and watch a marathon of Hollywood Game Night than keep reading.

But like Tom Arnold with a particularly tough charade, I persevered! And if you’re feeling masochistic ambitious, here are some ways you can do it too!

1. Find The Time

I know that you’re thinking: This bitch cray! 52 books in one year?

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And I get that. You’re busy. I was too. (Mostly watching TV and Youtube videos on how to perfectly apply liquid eyeliner). But regardless, here are a few ways I squeezed in some extra reading time:

  • Always Keep a Book With You. Treat that baby like it’s your American Express Card (or- in my case, 17 different lipglosses) – never leave home without it!  You’d be surprised by the amount of reading you can get done waiting at the doctor’s office, in line for the DMV, or just generally avoiding human contact. It’s a lot more productive (though not necessarily as much fun) than playing candy crush on your iPhone.
  • Make the most of your commute. Read on the bus, train or subway on your way to and from work. Unless you get carsick.. because….

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Aaah Sweet Brown. I can never get enough.

  • Read on your lunch break. This was my specialty. Every day at lunch, I’d take my book to the food court and read for 30 minutes.

goal8I kept waiting for someone to write me a Craigslist Missed Connection but… no dice.

2. Always Have Your Next Book Lined Up

Making a list of books I wanted to read in advance helped keep me on track. It also motivated me to read faster, as I was always excited to get to the next book on my list.

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I found Goodreads to be an excellent resource for this, as well as suggestions from friends and blog readers.

Another tip is to check out the  “people who bought this author also bought….”. and “suggestions for you” tabs on Amazon.

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…….Or you could just read the entire Baby Sitters Club series (again). No one blames you.

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3. Don’t Torture Yourself

As the saying goes, “If you hate a book set it free”…..Or something like that. In other words- if you start a book that you really don’t like or just can’t get into, move onto the next. Otherwise, you’ll just get discouraged and lose excitement and momentum.goal12

I struggled with Infinite Jest for about 50 pages before eventually realizing that a David Foster Wallace dissertation about a missing VHS tape was not the hill I wanted to die on.

There’s 75 hours of my life I’ll never get back.

4. Mix It Up

Although I was seriously tempted to read nothing but 52 emo romance novels in 2013, I knew that, like all great pop stars, I had to get a lot of plastic surgery and a white cane mix things up in order to keep it fresh and exciting.

Exhibit A
Exhibit A

Accordingly, my 2013 reading list was a serious hodge-podge of short stories, novels, memoirs & non-fiction. I also alternated between bestsellers like Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy (wait for the movie) to contemporary classics, like On The Road by Jack Kerouac (must read), and the occasional Penguin classic, like Howard’s End by E.M Forster (there’s a reason I didn’t major in English Lit).

5. Break It Down

Let’s face it- the number 52 just sounds horrifying. (Unless it’s being used to describe chocolate bars, glasses of wine, or issues of US Weekly).

mmm... chocolate.
mmm… chocolate.

The point i’m trying to make here, is that the idea of reading 52 books in one year can seem a bit daunting at first- so break it up into smaller goals. 52 books in one year works out to toughly 4 books a month, or one a week. You can even set a number of pages you’d like to read each day.

You know that acronym about goal setting? SMART?

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Yeah- Use that!. But don’t tell anyone you’re doing that, because, well… it’s kinda lame.

So those are my tips! And remember kids, above all else- do it for yourself, and your love of literature!

…and maybe also to rub it in people’s faces.

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Just a little 🙂

Question of the Day: Have you set a reading goal for 2014?

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The Top 10 Books I Read in 2013

In case you missed my previous post, I read 52 books in 2013.

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I know, I’ve been trying to repress it too.

In all seriousness- setting a reading goal was actually good for me. I spent way less time watching reality TV and checking Craigslist Missed Connections. It also gave me something to talk about at cocktail parties, instead of just standing in the corner, mindlessly hoovering canapes and white wine spritzers, counting down the minutes until I could go home.

I also had the pleasure of reading a lot of really fantastic books…so many that I had a hard time narrowing it down to just a few. 

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But alas- despite being a millennial, I recognize that not everyone can win the prize.. so here they are: 

 The Top 10 Books I

Read in 2013 

1. Middlesex

by Jeffrey Eugenides

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I’m not one to make gushy statements, but this multi-generational masterpiece about a Greek-American family in Detroit may be the best book I’ve read not just this year, but EVER. (You can read my initial review here).

I will caveat my glowing recommendation with the fact that it is a bit of a saga. If you’re looking for something a little shorter/less dense, check out Jeffrey Eugenides’ other books, The Marriage Plot and The Virgin Suicides (since adapted into a film by that boyfriend-stealing b*tch Sophia Coppola).

2. The Unbearable Lightness of Being

by Milan Kundera

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This book made me feel a lot of feelings. 

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………. Which is saying a lot, because I sort of pride myself on feeling as few feelings as possible.

A love story set in Eastern Europe during the infamous Prague Spring of 1968, this book is chock-full of romance, tragedy, metaphors and emo-goodness. It made me want to curl up with a fuzzy blanket, a glass of wine and a big-ass box of Kleenex. 

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3. Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

by David Sedaris

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The latest collection of humorous essays by my hero/life model/favourite writer ever David Sedaris did not fail to disappoint. As I mentioned in my initial review,  I was lucky enough to attend a reading of his back in April when the book came out. He responded to fan questions, told funny stories and read from the book aloud.

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What a treat.

Someday I will become his straight, female counterpart…. and no that is not weird.

4. How Should A Person Be?

By Sheila Heti

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If you like artsy shizz and the HBO show Girls, then this book about a young writer struggling trying to find her way in the world is most definitely for you.

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It’s also set in Toronto, which endeared me to it further. Maybe once you read it, you will finally be able to answer the age-old question:

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5. Quiet: The Power of Introverts

By Susan Cain

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Reading this book about how introverts are undervalued in today’s society made me feel empowered and (ironically) less alone in the world.

I even stopped wearing this sweater all the time:

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If you fancy yourself an introvert- even a closet one- do yourself a favour and read this book.  

6. A Hologram For the King 

By Dave Eggers

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This book follows Alan Clay, a middle-aged divorcee who, in a last-ditch effort to turn his luck around ,goes to Saudi Arabia to sell the elusive King Abdullah a new hologram technology.

Think Tupac at Coachella
Think Tupac at Coachella

Although it’s not big on action (most of it takes place in a single room), the raw, effortless writing made it a standout for me.

Aaaand if you’re really lazy, you can always just wait for the film adaptation  starring Tom Hanks. (It’s gotta be better than Saving Mr. Banks.)

7. The Rosie Project  

By Graeme Simsion

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The Rosie Project centers around Don Tillman, a 39-year-old genetics professor who is somewhere on the autism spectrum- he just doesn’t know it yet.

Citing scientific evidence that “married men are happier and live longer”, Don sets out to find the “perfect” wife by creating an extensive, detailed questionnaire. Women who do not score 100% are summarily disqualified.

This book has all the makings of a great, offbeat romantic comedy- and in fact it has already been optioned by Sony Pictures. It would make a great book club pick, or to read on the beach for all you lucky b*tches going on tropical vacations this winter.

8. The Last Girlfriend on Earth

By Simon Rich

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You can check out my initial review of Simon Rich’s hilarious short story collection here. Each piece was incredibly clever, witty and well written- like a Saturday Night Live skit playing out right in front of me on the page. Loved it.  

 9. The Sun Also Rises

By Ernest Hemingway

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I feel like sort of a hipster try-hard doofus listing this as one of my top 10, but I swear that was not my intention. In fact, I initially chose this book because it was under 200 pages.

But as I started to read it, I was captivated by the beauty in Hemingway’s prose as he described a group of artistic expats attending the Running of the Bulls in Spain.

I even found myself quoting lines to friends- before realizing how much of a pretentious dink this made me sound. So instead, I just wrote them down in my journal of lame, private thoughts that are way too embarrassing to post on my blog. You know you want to read that, don’t you? Well you can’t! So go read this book!

 10. The Interestings

By Meg Wolitzer 

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The Interestings centres around a group of 6 friends who first meet as teenagers at a camp for the arts in the 1970′s, and follows them  throughout their decades-long friendship. Lives become complicated, relationships become strained, issues of class, money and power ensue, and in the end everyone is richer for the experience. You should read this book IF:

a) You have ever dreamed of a career in writing/the arts

b) You find New York City impossibly romantic.

Question of the Day:

What was the best book you read in 2013?  

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52 Books in 52 Weeks: A Quick Recap

Happy New Year friends!

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Is it? It’s -34 degrees here in Toronto. I looked around the subway this morning, all I saw was misery.

Shut up inner BreezyK voice!! IT’S NOT YOUR TIME

Annnyway, I know I’ve fallen off the face of the earth for the past couple of months, and while I’d like to say I spent this time cavorting around town, attending fancy parties and you know, engaging with real-life humans, the truth is, I spent most of it with my nose buried in a book.

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Remember when I said I was going to read 52 Books in 52 Weeks?

Yeah… whoever thought that was a good idea?

Somehow, I managed to stay pretty much on track for the first half of the year, but after slacking off considerably during the summer and fall, I left myself with a serious mountain to climb at the end of the year.

With extreme hesitation, I was forced to say goodbye to my online shopping (ok, browsing) addiction and nightly wine-infused reality TV marathons and get my head in the game.

Between November 15 and December 31, I read 11 books. ELEVEN. There were times when I thought I was going completely insane, and craved the warmth of human contact.

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By the time I got to the last book on my list, I was like:

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But alas- I did it! Read em’ and weep kids, here in random order (did that make anyone else just think of America’s Funniest Home Videos?) are the 52 books I read in 2013:

  1. The Sense of An Ending by Julian Barnes
  2. Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan
  3. My Boyfriend Wrote A Book About Me by Hilary Winston
  4. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
  5. Bridget Jones- Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding
  6. Iris Has Free Time by Iris Smyles
  7. A Hologram For the King by Dave Eggers
  8. One Last Thing Before I Go by Jonathan Tropper
  9. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
  10. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
  11. Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris
  12. Quiet- The power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
  13. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
  14. The Love Song Of Johnny Valentine by Teddy Wayne
  15. So Damn Lucky by Deborah Coontz
  16. The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
  17. The Solitude of Prime Numbers by Paolo Giordano
  18. The Last Girlfriend on Earth by Simon Rich
  19. Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski
  20. The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman
  21. Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
  22. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
  23. 10th of December by George Saunders
  24. Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar by Kelly Oxford
  25. The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thomson
  26. Candide– Voltaire
  27. The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
  28. I Found This Funny by Judd Apatow
  29. The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
  30. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
  31. Contagious by Jonah Berger
  32. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
  33. The Fall by Albert Camus
  34. The Woman Upstairs by Claire Messud
  35. The Lowland by Jumpha Lahiri
  36. I Feel Bad About My Neck (and other thoughts on being a woman) by Norah Ephron
  37. Bossypants by Tina Fey
  38. Night Terrors: Sex, Puberty and Other Alarming Things by Ashley Cardiff
  39. Howard’s End by E.M. Forrester
  40. Dear Life by Alice Munro
  41. Empire Falls by Richard Russo
  42. Leaving the Atocha Station by Ben Lerner
  43. Revenge Wears Prada– Lauren
  44. Stories From the Vinyl Cafe by Stuart McLean
  45. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
  46. How Should A person Be? by Sheila Heti
  47. No plot? No problem  by Chris Baty
  48. Dear Girls Above Me by Charlie McDowell
  49. The Flamethrowers by Rachel Kushner
  50. Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman
  51. An Astronaut’s Guide To Life On Earth by Chris Hadfield
  52. Levels of Life by Julian Barnes

Woot Woot! Can I get a little 80’s Paul Rudd dancing up in here?

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Thaaat’s right.

Lest you worry I am becoming too cultured and civilized, I should assure you that upon finishing the last page of book #52, I immediately parked my a$$ in front of the TV, where I have remained in a state of vegetative bliss  for the past 7 days.

One word, guys: JUAN-uary

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I have much more to say about my ambitious/extremely misguided goal of reading 52 books in one year,  including some of the best (hits) and worst (misses) of the year. I’ll also be providing some tips as to how you can achieve this goal yourself- so stay tuned if you’re a masochistic freak like I am!

Question of the Day: Did you make a reading goal last year? Did you hit it?

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A Fun-Sized Thank You

Today is a great day.

Not only is it Halloween, my favourite holiday of the year, it also marks the end of my daily blogging challenge.

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Oh, and did I mention it’s also my birthday??

Me, on my birthday in 2012, running outside in a tutu. That's right.
Me, on my birthday in 2012, running outside in a tutu…. And smiling really f*&king awkwardly.

Gotta keep this quick so I can continue soaking up as much attention as humanly possible, but I just wanted to give a fun-size (just kidding- BIG) thank you to all those who read, liked, commented and in some cases- suffered through- an entire month of daily posts. I’m going to try to keep up with the regular posting now that October is over, but I can’t make any promises. Sometimes, Wine life gets in the way.

Anyway, I’m off to get my champagne on, so get out there in your slutty/inappropriate costumes and have a safe and happy Halloween! Oh and don’t forget to save me all your Reese Peanut Butter Cups*

Question of the Day: Any plans for Halloween?

*Will also accept Twix, Snickers, Peanut M&M’s (NOT plain, what am I a savage?), Nibs and Hersheys Cookies n’ Creme.

Premature E-Publication

I accidentally hit “publish” on a blog post before it was ready this morning.

The whole experience was shocking, terrifying, embarrassing, and all sorts of other negative emotions ending in “ing”. Sort of like when you inadvertently hit “reply all” on an e-mail.

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A few years back, my roommate, who was also my coworker at the time, accidentally sent an e-mail intended for me to our entire company. That’s over 2,000 people in multiple offices around North America. Although the e-mail itself was relatively innocuous, I still came home to find her in bed, curled up in a ball of shame and self-loathing, wailing “I’ll never work in this town again!” into a pint of Haagen Dazs.

That’s sort of how I felt this morning. How could I possibly have sent this piece of nonsensical drivel to 1,592 inboxes? With one fell swoop, my carefully constructed curtain of thesaurus words, platitudes and strategically placed GIFs had been lifted – exposing me for the fraud I am deep down inside.

I was certain my short-lived career as a mediocre blogger was over.

The funny thing is, though, that before I even had a chance to mark the post “private” (which took me like 10 minutes, since I’m kind of a Luddite) I actually received a few “likes” and comments on it.

My first thought was that these benevolent commenters felt so sorry for my epic fail that they simply wanted to ensure I didn’t impale myself over any sharp objects in my apartment. However, it occurred to me later that perhaps they just hadn’t been reading that critically. Maybe they just identified with the overall subject matter of the post (which was about invasion of personal space), and didn’t care that much about my sloppy sentences or lack of hilarious GIFs.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here, is that we bloggers shouldn’t really be so hard on ourselves. While quality is important, it’s not the be all and end all. 99% of your readers don’t care about consistency of tenses and appropriate use of semi-colons; they just want material they can relate to.

……and maybe the occasional Paul Rudd dancing GIF:

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Question of the Day: Have you ever had a premature e-publication? How did you feel?

B*tch Stole My Look

So I know this blog has been limping along like Lohan’s career, but I am finally here to break my prolonged silence with  a very important announcement:

You guys…..

DRAKE JACKED MY OUTFIT

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That’s right. DrizzyDrake pilfered my swag.

Let me explain.

I took this selfie of my amazing (and expertly styled) Wu-Tang Clan t-shirt on my way to a fashion show/design competition here in Toronto called The Art of Fashion.

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….Because I do cool things like go to fashion shows all the time. See, look, here’s me at Paris fashion week with Kim and Kanye (and Ciara? WTF?).

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Just kidding. I’ve never actually been to a fashion show. (Sorry, Lily Collins for superimposing my head over your spectacular eyebrows). But my friend’s sister was organizing this one, and there was an open bar, so… you know…..

Anyhoo, shortly after posting the aforementioned selfie, I noticed that Drake instagrammed a pic of himself wearing suspiciously similar threads.

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ummmm can you say BITCH STOLE MY LOOK??

Not cool, Drizzy, Not cool.  I’ve decided the only possible explanation for this is that Drake is in love with/obsessed with me and has been monitoring my Instagram feed (@breezyk1 holllaaaa) for all of the latest trends.

Who knew Wheelchair Jimmy was such a biter?

JUST KIDDING DRAKE I LOVE YOU AND YOUR NEW ALBUM!!! NWTS4LIFE!

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Sorry for all the caps lock. I’ve clearly been spending too much time on Kanye West’s twitter feed.

Anyway, since all of you need more gems like this one in your life (and I clearly need more practice writing coherent sentences), I’ve decided to do a blog post a day for the entire month of October!*

loco5

*Monday to Friday. Ain’t nobody got time for that on weekends.

Don’t expect much. 95% of my posts are probably going to be about pumpkin spice lattes.

latte

There’s a reason they call them clichés.

Question of the Day:

Has a b*tch ever stolen your look? What did you do about it?

Also: How often do you post on your blog? What do you think is the optimal amount?

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