Haircut Regret

My entire life I have coveted long, luxurious hair.

straight-hairstyle2.jpg (1066×1600)

Maybe it’s because of my childhood obsession with Barbie dolls, or maybe it’s the steady diet of Saved By The Bell I consumed as a kid, but for whatever reason, I grew up thinking  that shiny, cascading locks were the consummate and only ideal of female beauty.

Unfortunately for me, my impossibly thin, pin-straight hair refused to achieve great lengths. I blame bad genes. And the two unfortunate “perm incidents” I had in grade three.

This llama knows

No matter how hard I tried to let it grow, I could never achieve anything beyond shoulder-length.

….Until I got to law school. I’m not sure what changed, but after more than 20 years of feeble growth and breakage, my puny hair suddenly began to grow like a weed. By second year, it was halfway down my back. What can I say? I guess a steady diet of Alexander Keith’s and 3 a.m. donairs does a body good.

I felt like a whole new person with my long hair, and for almost two years I reveled in its glory. But then, I went and ruined it all.

For Halloween in third year, I decided to dress up as Snow White. I had a hairdresser pin my long locks up into a bob to complete the look, and the results were, in a word, spectacular.

You guy- I was the fricking FAIREST.

bk

So true was the likeness that random people came up to me and suggested I apply for a job at DisneyWorld.

I was so in love with the attention I was getting that I started to think that maybe a REAL bob would be a good idea.

And that’s where I should have pumped the brakes.

But I didn’t. Instead, I made an appointment the very next day with the same hairdresser, and allowed her to chop off of my long beautiful hair. I was convinced I would love it- that when I looked in the mirror I’d see Snow White and her glossy black mane staring back at me.  But instead, when she turned around my chair, I was like:

Not only had she cut it about 2-3 inches shorter than I intended, without all that extra hair pinned up underneath, it just looked flat, puny and lifeless. It was actually so thin that you could see through it.

I immediately started to cry (apparently crying in salons is a thing for me), while the poor hairdresser tried to convince me it looked great.

But I knew in my heart that it didn’t. I mean, you know a haircut is bad when NO ONE compliments you on it. And it’s not like they didn’t notice. I cut 8 inches off! 8!

Even when I asked my mom what she thought, her mouth said “it looks great!”  but her eyes said:

My self-confidence plummeted, and I’ve been trying desperately to grow it back ever since, while at the same time dealing with the  awkward in-between stages that follow a short haircut. I’ve tried everything- vitamins, special oils, prayers to Saint Agnes, the Patron Saint of all hair.

I even tried gluing hair on a vodoo doll. (I think I might have been doing it wrong.)

I was beginning to fear that I was destined to spend the rest of my days looking like the sad, “before” girl in Pantene Pro-V commercials:

But just a few months ago, it miraculously started to grow again.  I guess Agnes must have snuck into my room while I was sleeping and sprinkled some chia seeds on that noise.

Anyway, I won’t question it- but I know that the next time I get the ridiculous urge to cut my hair, I’ll remember one thing:

Question of the Day: Have you ever regretted a haircut?

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17 thoughts on “Haircut Regret

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  1. I reckon your hair looks lovely in every pic you’ve posted… even when you were wearing a purple wig.

    I remember back when I was about 19 I would put gel in my (marginally longer than it is now) hair. Unfortunately I had a pair of headphones that put a rather large dent across the middle.

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  2. Mine has always been short, so no, but all I know is when a girl at work gets a haircut, you might as well bring cameras and Extra, because it is like the media decends upon them with, “Oh my gosh your hair looks so great!” and the questions commence for hours and weeks later.

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      1. There were no gossipy girls around to pretend fawn about your hair? I guess you need to come to my office next time you get one and all the ladies will ignore their jobs to be your personal paparazzi while I do all their work.

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  3. Back in the day i had the type of hair that made ladies cry… long, full-bodied, and swirling over my shoulders and down my back in long arcing curls. I faced frequent accusations of perming. I’d say, No. It’s natural,” and they’d go, “Uh-huh.”

    One day I cut it all off. I got a regular boy haircut. Suddenly I became invisible. People went from knowing I was the drummer to assuming I was the roadie.

    About 6 years ago i started shaving it altogether and only this year finally let it grow back to “regular boy” length. It’s getting a bit salt-and-pepper, but it also accelerated to the point that I can grow a full beard in 7-10 days and have to break out the trimmer weekly for the top and sides to keep them under control.

    I have no idea why I said all that. It’s not remotely interesting. See, I told you my comments were pointless. To answer your question, as I remember it: No, I’ve never regretted a hair decision, though, on the rare occasion that I look at my childhood pictures, I regret most of the hair decisions my mom made on my behalf. Yikes. It’s like she wanted me to get beat up.

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  4. It’s been 5 weeks since I cut off 12″. My husband told me I looked like my mother. Everyone says I look “cute”…like a 40 year old with low self-esteem wants to hear they look 8…I’m seriously considering having an affair with Henry (O Henry! that is) and dyeing it fire engine red (I’ve played with temporary streaks) or blue to fit the cliche “an old lady with blue hair”…

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  5. Short hair looks better on me, so generally haircuts are not a regret. They look a little funky when they’re first done, but then grow into themselves. That has happened less now that I’ve actually started going to curly hair hairstylists, because they actually know what they’re doing. But at this point shorter is better. It can be thicker and curlier and it looks great still, and there’s less of it to deal with. My hair is barely to my shoulders now and I’m already going, “I need to cut it again, darnit…”

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  6. My mother is obsessed with short hair on girls. My entire childhood was a battle for long hair versus her constant “but wouldn’t you like to look like THAT?” when pointing to some kid in a bob.

    She finally got her way when I was 10 or so and living in the Caribbean. She convinced me that the short hair would be cooler. From then on my hair was short. Often too short for my liking. Once she took me in for a hair cut and the hair dresser thought I was a boy and cut it BOY SHORT and then SPIKED IT. For two years after that I would hear kids whispering “is that a boy or a girl?” when looking at me.

    I’ve tried growing it out a few times, but I never learned how to take care of long hair. It gets messy and stringy and falls in my eyes and I break down and cut it back to where I’m used to it being but I always long for long flowing tresses that do fancy things….

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