Workouts, Wild Turkeys and Way Too Much Time On My Hands

Greetings from Canada’s Ocean Playground!


I’ve been in Nova Scotia for about a week now, visiting with family and friends, lazing on the beach, and basically living the life of a bored housewife with way too much time on her hands.


It’s all really great and relaxing-  except for the WILD TURKEY who has taken up residence in our backyard and insists on waking me up at 6 a.m. every morning. Seriously guys, this thing is hard as f*ck. It’s about 2 feet tall, feral looking, and has a “call” so loud and frightening it has started featuring prominently in my nightmares.


It also hasn’t been relaxing in the sense that my family are exercise fanatics and insist on constantly shaming me into working out. Hot yoga, running at the local track, “power walks”, gym sessions… I’m beginning to think they’re trying to tell me something.


If I'm getting my ass to the gym on vacation, you better believe I'm taking a selfie of it.
If I’m getting my ass to the gym on vacation, you better believe I’m taking a selfie of it.
My mom, just killin it.
Look at that smug look on her face.

Skinny b*tches.

Anyway, gotta make this a short one because I must return to my busy schedule of watching The Doctors, making unnecessary trips to the grocery store and coordinating hairstyles with my 8-year-old niece:


so for now I will leave you with this adorable photo of my niece Maeve, who, at 14 months old, is already demonstrating more maternal instinct in her little finger than I will ever hope to possess.

My niece Maeve and her baby/twin

Happy Friday y’all!

Question of the Day: How do you exorcise an evil turkey nemesis?

… and don’t say garlic, crucifixes or kryptonite cause I’ve already tried that sh*t and the damn thing ain’t budging.


9 thoughts on “Workouts, Wild Turkeys and Way Too Much Time On My Hands

Add yours

  1. It’s good to see that the rest of Family Breezy are keeping themselves active, rather than succumbing to the hedonistic activities that their city-slicker lawyer relative partakes in.

    I reckon that Maeve has a good chance of scaring that turkey away – any girl with a strong maternal instinct will protect their little ‘uns at all costs. If you can figure out a way to setup an elebarate scenario whereby the turkey threatens that little doll, Maeve will have it running for the hills in no time at all.


  2. Maeve is such a pretty name! I’m always looking for names to add to my potential baby name list even though I’m nowhere near ready to have a spawn.

    If you’re at the gym on vacay, I’m sure you can handle that gobbler.


  3. Perhaps you could give your Wild Turkey some of our great Kentucky Whiskey known as Wild Turkey … it might not get rid of him, but might make him too hungover to want to be up at the crack of dawn.


  4. Omg turkeys are the WORST. So scary. And they have no fear! I’ve had turkeys run after me before. *shudder*
    If I were there with you, we could stay home together and not work out. I have a strict, no working out on vacation rule. You’re looking like a skinny biotch yourself!


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