In true lapsed Catholic fashion, this year I’ve decided to spend Easter weekend in the un-holiest place on earth: Vegas Baby!!
That’s right folks- by the time you read this, I will be on my way to Sin City with 17 other bad b*tches to celebrate the bachelorette parties of two of our closest friends. Yep- a DOUBLE bachelorette. God help
our livers us all.
I was initially worried that my very devout mother would be horrified at the idea of my spending Good Friday popping bottles with Diddy at Wet Republic,
But apparently she’s way too busy worrying about Pope Francis to even notice. (“I mean, I know he preaches the simple life and all.. but if he doesn’t start using more security soon he’s not gonna be preaching anything at all” )
So I think I’m all set! I’ve got my flip flops, sunglasses, magazines, a crap- ton of candy, and this divine piece of literature for the plane:
The lady at Chapters assured me that it was “amazing” and “a total page turner”, but with lines like “the next time I drive a Ferrari, I’ll be sure to wear a longer skirt” – I have my doubts.
Anyway, I’ve never been to Vegas, but if it’s anything like I’ve seen in the movies, then I expect to do at least one, if not more of the following things while I’m there:
1. Play a specialized role in an organized casino heist with a motley crew of
11 12 13 sidekicks
2. Lose one of the bachelorettes, kidnap Mike Tyson’s tiger and pull my own tooth out
3. Develop an elaborate card counting scheme under the direction of my mentor, Nicholas Cage
4. Marry Ashton Kutcher and split a $3 million jackpot
5. Launder millions of superdollars in a counterfeit scam involving the Triads
6. Thwart Project Vulcan after nearly being assisinated by FemmeBots
7. Form an unlikely relationship with a hardened prostitute and suddenly develop a new lease on life
8. Lose all of my money gambling and have to share a $1.49 buffet with my cousin Eddie
9. Enter a beauty pageant in order to save the original Captain Kirk
10. Get hopped up on acid and drive around in an old Eldorado
Yes my friends, in Vegas, anything is possible!!
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and that the Easter bunny finds you. (For your sake, I hope it’s not the same one whose lap I sat on in grade 1.)
And if you want to make your Easter REALLY special, you can enter my Festive East-Vegas Giveaway! Just match each of the Vegas activities listed above with the correct movie below, and you could win a free CAMEL LIFE TSHIRT!!
Unfortunately, it’s a ladies size small, so if it doesn’t fit then I guess you’ll just have to frame it and hang it on your wall along with the rest of your BreezyK memorabilia. The winner will also receive a personalized Easter card from me and a Las Vegas themed trinket for your
If more than one person guesses the order correctly, I will
take bribes draw names.
Here is the list of movies to be matched with the correct # above. Good luck!
A. National Lampoon’s Vegas vacation
B. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
C. Rush Hour 2
D. What Happens in Vegas
E. The Hangover
F. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
H. Oceans 11/12/13
I. Leaving Las Vegas
J. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Contest closes on Sunday, March 31 at high noon!