Are you guys ready? Because I’m about to shock you to your cores by being the first person in the history of all time to blog about their New Year’s Resolutions on January 1st.
“Be more original” obviously isn’t on the list. “Write fewer run-on sentences” probably should be.
Anyway, I’m writing this while also half-watching The Campaign, and I need to get back to gawking at Dylan McDermott’s ageless beauty, so let’s just get on with it:
BreezyK’s Really Important, Really Specific 2013 New Year’s Resolutions
1) Get something published. Somewhere.
I think it’s a good idea to always make your goals as vague and unmeasurable as possible. That way, when you don’t achieve them, it’s not your fault. It’s the GOAL’s fault.
2) Eat something other than cereal for dinner sometimes.
Maybe I’ll start with oatmeal. It’s still in the breakfast family, and I can’t handle too much change too quickly.
3) Actually get dressed when I leave the house.
No more of this worn–out leggings and soccer shirt with the holes in it I stole from my brother business. Grown-ass women don’t dress like that when they go to the grocery store… and neither should I.
In order to classify as “pants”, all articles of clothing must now contain at least one zipper and/or button.
This one’s gonna be tough.
4) Find that shallow b*tch who keeps stealing my credit card and tell her that clothes and makeup don’t buy happiness.
I honestly feel so bad for some people.
5) Read some of those books I keep buying all the time.
Maybe 52 of them. One a week. That sounds like a good number.
6) Insert cursory health/fitness goal here.
I know I should be thinking about something of this nature, but right now all I can focus on is my man Bobby Donnell and the bag of discounted holiday chocolate sitting right here in front of me. So I’m going to go eat this 49 cent Reese Tree now and think about #6 tomorrow.