Have you ever heard of PostSecret? It’s a blog filled with people’s anonymous secrets that they mail in on a homemade postcard.
I love reading them. They range from people’s deepest darkest secrets, to funny/embarrassing confessions like this one:
So in the spirit of PostSecret, I thought it might be fun to do a post where I confess a few embarrassing things to you guys. Which I know is what I do in pretty much every post. This just lets me string a bunch of random thoughts together and call it an “idea.”
1. I love the TV show “The Littlest Hobo”
For those of you who aren’t familiar, The Littlest Hobo was an early 1980’s Canadian television programme about an ownerless German Shepherd (Hobo) who travelled from town to town, helping people in need. It’s basically like Lassie North… vagrant styles.
Hobo would always save the day, and when the people he’d helped went to thank him, would have already jumped on a seemingly always available boxcar and skipped town.
I love this show for many reasons. The supreme acting, the early 80’s hairdos, the highly original and extremely realistic plotlines. Not to mention it has perhaps the best theme song of any show ever:
They still show reruns and I watch it all the time. I even record episodes. It’s not weird.
The other day I was the only person in the gym in my building and had complete control over the TV remote. I was flipping through the channels and was amped to find an episode of the Littlest Hobo on. I was getting really into it when another chick came into the gym and got on the treadmill beside me. She gave me this look, like “Really? Are we really watching The Littlest Hobo right now?” So I threw her back some shade with my own look that said “Yeah b*tch, that’s what’s up. And there’s nothing you can do about it, because I’M in control”.
So we watched it. And LH saved the day again. And I loved life. Then, afterwards this Cash-For-Gold infomercial came on, and I purposely didn’t change the channel out of spite.
How you like me now, biaaatch?
I might get this Littlest Hobo thing from my mom, who’s got mad love for Little House on the Prairie.
She watches it all the time but refuses to admit it. I’ll walk into the room and be like “What’s up mom? Watching Little House on the Prairie again?” and she’ll quickly change the channel and be like “No! It’s “The Doctors“. See look, they’re making a homeopathic remedy for constipation out of burdenga root!”
Now I understand. I just have far less shame, apparently.
2. My bookshelf is filled with books I’ve never read.
I’m sort of obsessed with buying books. Which I guess isn’t inherently a bad thing. You know, “Literacy” and all that. Where the problem lies, however, is in the rate at which I read these books. It by no means matches the frequency and intensity with which I purchase them.
I’ll order a bunch of books online, and then get impatient waiting for them to arrive and buy more at the bookstore. Some of them I’ll start and get bored or distracted. Others I just forget about entirely, or decide I now have no interest in.
At this point, my bookshelf is at least 1/3 filled with books I’ve never read. And it sort of makes me feel like a fraud, because here I am advertising that I’ve read Slaughterhouse 5 when really, I’ve never read Slaughterhouse 5. I don’t even know what it’s about. Every day I walk past my copy of Infinite Jest and feel it shaming me. All 1079 witty, yet incomprehensible pages of it.
I think I just really like the idea of the person I would be if I read all of these books. Like last year, I decided I was going to get really into “The Classics”. So I went on Amazon and ordered half of the entire Penguin collection. In my mind it was going to make me all cultured and sophisticated, and I’d read shit like Great Expectations andunderstand Gwyneth Paltrow way better.
But I soon lost interest in the dense subject matter and looking up every second word in the dictionary, and switched back to Fluffy chic lit instead. I’ve had bigger failures.
3. I read Craigslist Missed Connections Every Night
Long-time readers of my blog already know this. I’ve even written a whole post about it. I just wanted to let you all know that yes, this is still happening. And yes, it is still really sad.