I read an article in the Huffington Post recently that said according to recent data from the American Customer Satisfaction Index, Facebook scored only a 61 out of 100 in customer satisfaction among users. That’s an 8-point drop from 2011, and the fourth-lowest score among all 230 companies surveyed.
The article also referred to the growing number of “Why I Quit Facebook” blog posts and editorials popping up all over the internet lately, written by jilted Facebook
creepers users who have decided to escape the clutches of the addictive social media superpower once and for all.
A lot of different reasons have been given for the shift- from loosey-goosey privacy standards, to the disappointing IPO, to a desire to interact with people on a more personal level, to just straight up self- respect. Whatever the reason, it seems that “de-facing” (as it has colloquially become known) is now all the rage.
Man. Mark Zuckerberg better hope that Justin Bieber doesn’t tweet that sh*t.
Anyway, despite the mass exodus, I can assure you that my
creepy ass quirky online persona isn’t going anywhere. I didn’t spend all of this time picking out the perfect profile picture for nothing.
If you’re wondering, this is it by the way:
I think it really screams “hey! I’m cute, approachable, have at least two people willing to be
in a photo friends with me, and on occasion like to treat myself to a fun, flirty cocktail! Now friend me, b*tches!”
But this amazing profile pic isn’t the only reason I’m sticking around. Here, for your reading enjoyment, are
10 more (super serious and not at all sarcastic) reasons I’m not ready to quit Facebook:
1. Because I haven’t seen enough of your baby photos yet.
Seriously. Keep ’em coming.
2. Because facebook has taught me that I too can become a “photographer”simply by purchasing a digital SLR Camera.
3. One word: INSTAGRAM
4. Because my self-worth is a fragile and delicate being made up primarily of “Likes”, comments and tissue paper.
5. Because of all the amazing inspirational quotes that help me make it through the day, like this one:
6. Because I won’t rest until I discover the deeper meaning behind your cryptic status update….
7. Ummm… how else would I make my ex-boyfriend jealous??
8. Because I’ll never grow tired of seeing exactly what you ate for dinner.
9. Because that picture of you and your entire family posing in an oversized Adirondack chair is just so god damn adorable.
10. Each and every one of your super romantic and not at all cheesy engagement/wedding photos.
……..Thank you for showing me that fairy tales really do come true. Just one request though- could we get a few more of the “holding hands across the railroad tracks” pose, please? K thanks.