***Apologies to those who have already read this post, but for some reason it disappeared from my blog?? Wordpress must be trying to save me from myself, I guess.. but I just won’t let it! Here’s my mouse story again in all it’s run-on sentence filled glory….***
So after pulling the proverbial ‘chute on the Saturday night”Full Moon Party”, my friend Caitlin and I headed back to our cabin to wash off all of our
bad decisions blacklight paint, and finally get some sleep.
But first: nature called. I had just gotten settled in the “bathroom” (AKA a toilet half-concealed behind a pinned-up garbage bag) when a flash of grey caught my eye, darting past my feet and disappearing into a hole in the wall.
I let out what can only be described as a blood-curdling scream, jumped up from the toilet (pajamas still firmly around my ankles), stumbled in a slow motion-fall/jog into the other room, and begin shouting “MOUSE! MOUSE!!! MOUSE!!!” at the top of my lungs.
“Oh yeah?” Replied my friend Caitlin, nonchalantly. “you alright, then?”
How to answer this question. I mean physically, I guess so. The thing hadn’t bitten me, or accosted me with a set of miniature nunchucks.. But emotionally.. well, that was a different story.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an extreme case of Musophobia. (fear of mice. google it, b*tches). Their feet.. their tails… those bendy exoskeletons. uuugh. My skin crawls just thinking about it. This fear manifests itself in a number of ways. I will not go anywhere I know mice have been, for example. Restaurants.. bars.. random alleys. If you tell me you have a mouse in your apartment…. well your bad news just doubled cause I will likely never come visit again. I actively boycot anything with a mouse as its mascot or symbol. Disney, Chuck-E-Cheez, they’re all on my sh*t list. I even refused to play the board game “Mouse Trap” as a kid. It was clearly a dull childhood.
My Musophobia only strengthened in my second year of university when I had an apartment in an old historic property in Halifax with four other undergrads that became infested with mice partway through the year. I remember the first time I saw one there I was on the can, too. Those little f*&kers just love to catch me off guard.
Anyway, I spent the rest of that year living in fear of the vermin. I would stuff a towel under my door each night and pray that they wouldn’t come in…. but inevitably, they always did. We eventually moved out, but it took me years to get over the constant paranoia. To this day I have regular nightmares about mice. All it takes is for someone to mention the word “mouse” in a sentence and BAM. Nightmare.I blame this experience for the fact that at 26, I receive regular dye treatments to cover my premature grays. That or law school. Yeah, probably law school.
Anyway, moral of the story: I am effing terrified of mice.
So I knew after seeing this one in the cabin, I was screwed. Caitlin tried to be patient with me- helping me fold my queen-size duvet with girl guide precision so that no part of it would touch the floor, lest the vermin use it as a lifeline to infiltrate my bed. I made her talk me down for a bit longer until she eventually fell asleep.
By this time my PTSD had kicked into full force and I lied awake in my bunk, listening for the sounds of little feet. I was paralyzed by fear. Or maybe I had just wrapped my duvet cocoon too tight. One of the two. I was unbelievably thirsty, but refused to drink any water, lest I have to pee and be forced to return to the scene of the crime once again.
I had just calmed down enough that I thought sleep might actually be possible, when I heard the pitter patter of little feet once again on the shelf above my head. Ever dramatic, I began screaming again, waking a very unimpressed Caitlin, who cursorily calmed me down before immediately falling back asleep. How could she be so composed?? She must have some sort of superpower.
After that, it quickly became clear that our cabin had a full-on mouse infestation. Intermittently throughout the night, I would hear people screaming, including my friend Lia who awoke in the middle of the night to find a mouse running over her arm.
Thank God that didn’t happen to me. I don’t think I’d ever be right again.
I didn’t sleep a wink the entire night, praying for daylight when these nocturnal beasts would return to their evil lairs and give us a reprieve from our misery. As soon as daylight broke, I couldn’t handle the need to pee any longer… but my memories of the bathroom experience were still too fresh. So I did what any normal, self-respecting girl with a toilet immediately available to her would do: I peed in the woods. This was pretty comical in and of itself, but I’ll spare you the gory details.
On our way to breakfast, we quickly discovered that most of the other cabins had been similarly terrorized by mice all night. Walking around that place felt like the zombie apocalypse- it was clear no one else got any sleep either.
As great of a time as I had, I simply could not wait to get off that island and
burn disinfect every item I had brought with me. Luckily, soon our good friend Daniel picked us up and took us to our waiting cars.
Overall, Adult Summer Camp was quite the experience. I had a great time, met some new people, and learned a lot about myself….like the fact that I am a giant baby trapped in a 26-year-old body. But seriously.. I will remember this experience forever… I just hope none of those mouse bastards were carrying lime disease. Cause that sh*t is for life.
Until next year!