Culture / Humour / Life

It’s a Hipster’s World… We Just Live in it

So, after meeting a pseudo (not really) celebrity on Friday night and acting like the female version of Michael Cera, obviously, the rest of the night was spent drowning my sorrows  in.. well, everything.

Needless to say, Saturday morning hit me like a freight train…but after meeting some friends for recovery eggs benny on the rooftop patio of The Drake Hotel (I like to live my life in a highly leveraged fabulous sort of way), I was ready to face the day.

It was 30 degrees and sunny in Toronto, and despite the fact that we are all clearly going to die from global warming, we were all in great spirits, and so decided to hit up Toronto’s Trinity Bellwoods Park.

Bellwoods, for those of you who aren’t familiar, is kind of like Toronto’s answer to Central Park… only with less trees.. and more hipsters. Yeah.. it’s basically nothing like Central Park.

Anyway,  the hipsters were out in full force that day, lemme tell ya. If you have been living under a rock are unfamiliar with the concept of hipsters, according to Urbandictionary.com:

“Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter”

And if that’s too cerebral for you, then maybe some pictures will help to explain it.  You are a hipster if you….

have a haircut like this:

Or, if you’re a girl, this:

or this:

Glasses like these:

 

ironic facial hair:

 

A fixie bike:

and Clothes like these:

I could go on, but..you get the picture.

Anyway, as we watched a male hipster in cut-off jean shorts and a black and white American flag tank top spread his blanket out and settle into his book (I couldn’t see, but I bet it was definitely either Jack Kerouac or Norman Mailer) my friend turned to me and said: ” you know, the hipsters really have won”.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Look at this place..” she said, gesturing around at the grass dotted with vintage throw blankets housing aloof looking 20-somethings and their assorted hipster paraphernalia.   “Hipsters have completely taken over. Not just the park, but society in general”

I looked dubiously at the group of kids to our right eating organic kimchi soba noodles out of free-range take-out containers, my suspicions raising with each discarded Pabst Blue Ribbon can I counted.

I gazed back down at my newly purchased copy of US Weekly. Suddenly reading about celebrity gossip felt misplaced. I shouldn’t care about celebrity gossip. In fact, if I wanted to be cool- I shouldn’t care about anything.

“You’re right”… I responded “Hipsters have become the mainstream.. now we are just the subculture.”

And it’s really true. Toronto, at least, has become a hipster hotbed. No longer does Bay Street set the tone- hipster preferences rule the masses. The hottest new restaurants are no longer 5 star, Michelin-rated establishments, but hole-in-the-wall $3 taco joints with 2 hour wait times (like this one I went to this weekend. and it was delicious. Damn you hipsters.)  Because of their lobbying, some of the biggest issues in Toronto municipal politics have become bike regulations, rent control, and zoning for more bars on Ossington. If we’re not careful, we’re gonna end up like Williamsburg, Brooklyn- electing a 27-year-old hipster as mayor. 

it’s only a matter of time…

I found it kind of funny to think about what life would be like in Toronto if we had a hipster for mayor, so I canvassed my friends, and together we came up with a few thoughts:

  • Our hipster mayor would probably be named Jef with one “f”, and his work experience would include: being in a band, working for his dad’s PR firm, and a brief stint slinging Burritos before graduating to a solid 9-5 at a non-for-profit providing fans for endangered birds in Africa to combat the effects of global warming.
  • Jef’s fiscal budget would probably be broken down a little like this:
  • 15% – public transportation
  • 5%- Prius subsidies.
  • 80%- cats.

Cat videos… cat memes… pictures like these ones..

  • All of Jef’s public appearances would be made via Skype or Instagram.

  • All workplaces would have mandated 15 minute Facebook/Twitter breaks.
  • Everything would be Occupied.
  • Music would once again be mandatory in public schools, only instead of piano and ukulele, kids will learn the Synthesizer.. and how to dance like this:

  •  Stephen Harper would be burned at the stake.
  • Trips to South America to “find oneself” would be mandatory for 20-somethings.

Man, I don’t know about you guys.. but this sounds like a city I’d like to live in. Jef for mayor in 2014!

Question of the Day: Have hipsters taken over YOUR city?

…. what do you think it’d be like to have a hipster mayor?

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14 thoughts on “It’s a Hipster’s World… We Just Live in it

  1. I may or may not be a hipster from Ottawa, taking over the city one coffee break at a time at Bridgehead (local eco-friendly coffee shop) while listening to the Arcade Fire reading books on post consumerism.

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    • I’ll admit I’m part hipster myself… but I can really only justifiably say about 25%, because I work on Bay Street.. which automatically makes me 75% poser/douchebag 😉

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  2. Relax. It’ll all be very passe in a decade or so. The hipsters will be living in the suburbs, raising their unfortunately named children and bitching about the quality of public school these days.

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  3. Sort of off-topic, but are you watching the newest season of The Bachelorette? There’s totally a Jef on there. Hipster Jef! He’s a skateboarding CEO of a bottled water company that donates a portion of its profits to setting up clean water wells in developing nations. I’m not even making this up! AND he has hair like the dude in the first picture. You must be watching this season, but if you’re not, you just pulled off an incredible BACHELORETTE TWILIGHT ZONE!! Well done, you!

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  4. Hipsters definitely abound in Sydney…especially in suburbs where the uni kids live. Alternative becomes the mainstream and there is clearly something wrong with you if you buy new clothes at a department store instead of that fab op shop around the corner. But it has resulted in some really good cheap places to eat! So I can’t complain 🙂

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  5. I live in Seattle . . . do I really need to say more?

    I have to agree with 1point . . . in ten years they will be “Account Managers” and “Soccer Moms” living in suburbia with 2.5 badly named children, driving the newest eco-vehicles, mulching their lawns, toting their groceries home in reusable planet-friendly bags and watching the latest in reality TV.

    They really aren’t so different. I’ve had the haircut (’00’s), the glasses (’80’s), the wardrobe (’90’s), read the books (’70’s) . . . If I was a few decades younger I’d probably be one of them. Hippies,Yuppies, GenX, fill in the blanks . . . only the technology really changes.

    Great post!

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  6. Pingback: Just Me, Myself and My Drinking Habit « The Camel Life

  7. I actually am sticking up for hipsters here because I see so much confusion about them. There are a lot of self-indulgent people that are just stuck in their own world trying to be the belle of the ball. Those people are the one’s you’re talking about here. In that sense, they’re no different than the girls that wore those black lace gloves like Madonna in the 80’s. Sure it was cool then, but….. I would also lump “quirky girls” in there because, as we all know, quirky has just come to mean selfish self-absorbed bitch, but with a nifty style and those god awful glasses.

    However, there is another group of people I see a lot just doing their own thing. They come off as hipsterish because they seem kind of odd and they somewhat follow hipster trends, because, really, that’s what’s out there to use as substrate these days. But in reality, they’re making their own way doing their own thing. It’s unfair to write it off as hipsterism.

    Finally, though, I think a lot of the hate towards hipsters comes from self-loathing caused by the soul crushing conformity they’ve given themselves over to. So people not doing that seem to be faking it, which so often they very much are. But on the other hand, it’s sort of jealousy too, the wishing that one had the guts to do that too.

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