Humour / Life

Off the Chain

What up, friends- it’s been a while. Just thought I’d check in to let you know that I haven’t gone all Natalee Holloway on your asses- work has just been seriously off the chain lately. And not in the cool, crunked-out music video with superfly bitches and lowriders with hydraulics kinda way that black people say it…. no, it’s more of the “running around like that intern in the Devil Wears Prada so my ass doesn’t get fired” sort of way. Actually, have you ever seen The Firm? Yeah, it’s nothing like that.

Also not like this. Although, with earplugs in, that might be better too.

With working a lot of 14+ hour days lately, and trying to squeeze in the occasional run so my ass doesn’t grow [much] wider than the circumference of my oversized desk chair, I’ve had pretty much zero time to get my blog on. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I probably could have used that time I spent drinking two post-work glasses of wine and then passing out on the couch while watching Fashion Star and eating half a jar of dill pickles to blog instead…. but then I wouldn’t be the proud new owner of this convertible zip mini skirt.  (You can wear it TWO WAYS!). 

It’s a Catch 23 situation, really.

Anyway, I ask that you please bear with me during this difficult time.. and maybe even send a couple of prayers my way. (I’d suggest directing those bad boys to the Patron Saint of “please let there be something edible on the office take-out menu tonight”, for one).

 And please make sure you check back again soon because I’ve got plenty of stellar posts coming your way. Highlights include how someone was actually nice to me in Toronto recently, my newest Lonely Habit (spoiler alert: it involves creeping on Craigslist… actually, it pretty much is creeping on craigslist), and lots of other stories about weird shit I’ve been up to lately… like visiting farms by myself, and making easter baskets for my non-existent children. Why hasn’t TLC called me yet?? My life would clearly make for ratings gold.

Question of the Day:  How do you handle work stress?

*Bonus points if your answer includes alcohol and/or chocolate.. or dill pickles, apparently.

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25 thoughts on “Off the Chain

  1. How do you handle work stress? Well, I get pissy and agitated, but when I get home and see my children the stress just evaporates and I forget work until the next day.

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    • great response! I used to live with my sister and my little niece when I was in law school and I loved coming home to see her every day – she made me forget all about studying and exams and stress.

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  2. I’d say I handle stress with a bottle of wine, a jar of peanut butter or nutella, and Benedict Cumberbatch, but I’ve realized that either I’m stressed every single day, or I’m an alcoholic with a chocolate/peanutbutter/fangirl problem, because most days generally involve some variation of the above.

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    • I have a PB obsession too. That and late night bowls of cereal while watching American Idol or the Voice or some other trash television. I guess we’re in good league because i’m clearly a cerealaholic with a talent complex. 😉

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  3. Not very well, my friend….not very well!

    My face and body language appears to be calm, cool, and collected, but somewhere along the way, I’ve developed a nasty blushing habit. And I don’t mean in the cute…”aww – she’s blushing” sort of way. It starts with one blotch on my neck and systematically spreads across the rest of my neck and chest – making it appear that I have a skin disease. No amount of calculated body language can cover that shit up…

    Not to worry though – I now have a wide range and spectrum of various scarf accessories that I wear daily – just in case a stressful situation may occur. Which it does. Daily.

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    • haha “aww, she has a skin disease!” hey, you never know- it might work for some people 😉
      I wish Scarves could help me with my stress symptoms…. do you think they could work to camoflauge a steadily expanding midsection, jaundiced skin, puffy eye bags and grey hair? Actually- that’s what you should do. Develop a product that does all of those things, and then sell it on infomercials. It’ll be the next Snuggie and we’ll get super rich and be able to quit our jobs and drink mimoas all day at various luxurious locations around the world… and of course, winter in croatia where we can have fresh seafood and Ojusko every day. wow, I really went off there didn’t I…..
      anyway, get designing! Looking forward to seeing your proposal on dragon’s den!

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  4. Stress is kind of like an annoying little brother I have grown to ignore. I use just pick up my two favorite guys ben & jerry and call it a night, now I am living a “healthier” lifestyle so I just go for a run or if that’s too much and I have no energy left I grab a jar of dill pickles and eat away until the jar is almost empty (for some reason I feel better if I see a few pickles swimming around at least I can tell myself I really didn’t eat that many pickles). Stress can be a pain, fortunately I have learned to simply ignore it and hope it all gets better and it usually (90% of the time) it does.

    But as for you I’ll definitely send some prayers your way and hopefully you’ll find something edible in office takeout menu, we can hope 🙂

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    • I try to run too to deal with it- but its been hard to find the time lately. I actually saw a motivational poster recently that said “someone busier than you is running right now”. I try to tell myself that when I need motivation, but then I usually just end up visualizing tearing said poster in half like the incredible hulk.
      Dill pickles it is!!

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  5. Work stress swirls around me. I won’t drink the water. I’m watching everyone else go insane. They piss me off, but I refuse to join their crazy. When I’ve had enough, I pack up and go to the beach, to sit and have my lunch. Makes me feel all nice and ish.
    The damn skirt is sold out. Why would you do that to me?!

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    • Damn girl, how do you do it? Do you have like jedi mind tricks or something? If so, teach me. Also, the fact that you can go to the beach at lunch makes me hate you a little, I’m not gonna lie.

      And sorry about the skirt, but what can I say? In the oh-so-eloquent words of Jessica Simpson, “everybody loves a twofer!” (I think that was right before she told the dwarf contestant on the show that she had a dream she gave birth to him. Real class act that one is)

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      • It stems from a childhood of practiced nonchalance. I have always been able to show absolutely no emotion and take on no one else’s issues. It infuriated my parents/guardians, and that just gave me the drive I needed to perfect the art. LOL.

        Oh, Jessica… The girl really needs to get some help.

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  6. 14-hour days? Ouch. I thought you French ‘uns went on strike if someone so much as asked you to pick up some litter that wasn’t yours.

    Back in the day when I utterly hated my job I used to get over it by going out and getting drunk afterwards.

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    • hahaha that might be true- we’re not french here in Toronto tho.. at least most of us aren’t. I think things may be quite different in Montreal. I hear they don’t work too hard.. and when they do, it’s only at eating stinky cheese and looking sophisticated.
      I definitely deal that way too… but it really only eases the pain until the next day. Or, in my case, 4am when you wake up disillusioned on the couch with all the lights on

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    • Yay!! haha “weeping wretchedly”. I actually can’t picture you being wretched about anything ever.
      And bonus points can be collected at our date on TUESDAY
      …. k that sounded kinda creepy but I assure you they are of the non-sexual non-threatening variety. I’ll probably just buy you a glass of wine. That way I’ll have someone to drink with.

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    • haha this has literally made my morning. I love all the Summer Heights High and Angry boys ones especially.
      And thank you so much!!
      I hear you on the candy. They recently opened a bulk barn in close proximity to my apartment.. that is bad news bears for me, lemme tell ya

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    • omg peanut butter and nutella together?? That sounds like my dream come true. When I was in Europe this summer I ate Nutella like it was my JOB. My sister and I did a road trip around croatia, and I literally took a huge jar of nutella and various dippables in the car with me and ate it the entire way. No wonder I came back from that trip carrying an extra 5-10lbs haha

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  7. I’ve been busy and stressed too at work for some reason. That never happens.

    How do I deal with it? By reading your blog. You can only imagine how many tears have been shed the last 2 weeks because of your MIA status.

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  8. i’ve realized long ago that the goal of management is not to make you happy, but to make you do what you’ve been told. a bar of chocolate can help relieve some stress. 🙂

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  9. I think you have inspired me to make beer battered fried chocolate covered dill pickles. This will either induce extreme vomiting to the point where I cannot go to work, or I will be a millionaire before I leave the house with wet hair and one eye with mascara to make it to work on time.

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  10. I take it out on strangers. Obviously. Then I go out for mass amounts of vodka soda with friends/people I pick up along the way and have myself an awesome night. Then I wake up and put on a cute work outfit and continue being the good motivated girl I am/try to take over the world. Woot!! Loving your blog. Sent it to my friends. Thanks for stopping by 31daysofawesome.

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