He Ain’t Heavy…..

We interrupt your regular Camel Life broadcasting today for  a very special announcement:

on this day, some 23 (give or take) odd years ago,  the world became a better, and much more sarcastic place, with the introduction of my big brother Stephen: 

And since this paragon of maturity and class lives halfway across the country and I’m too cheap to mail him a gift  is someone I love very much, I decided to write a blog post today in honour of his birthday. Aww. (If you’re counting- that’s like, two posts in a row now that are not entirely about me. Must be some kind of record).

As some of you may or may not know, I am the youngest of 5- count em- 5 children (I know, it’s like the Duggars up in here). Stephen is the middle child, and the eldest of my two brothers… which basically means that he spent the better part of his youth terrorizing me and the rest of my siblings, and generally wreaking havoc and getting up to no good.

Having Stephen as an older brother shaped my life and development in a number of important ways. For example, without him I never would have learned such an extensive catalogue of wrestling moves.. or more importantly- how to escape them (figure-four leg locks have nothing on me)… and I hasten to think about where I might be today were it not for all of those weekly punching and roundhouse kicking lessons. I also credit the times he tied me up with skipping ropes, smothered me with comforters, stole my Easter Bunny and left ransom notes, and told me the splinter in my finger was going to turn gangrenous and I’d have to get my arm amputated with helping me to develop a kind of extreme mental fortitute. That, and severe anxiety, claustrophobia, and repressed memories. Kidding. I’m not kidding.

Fitting costumes, no?

As I grew older, though, our relationship changed… and I began to feel less like I was living in a Wes Craven film, and more like my big brother was becoming my friend. It’s because of him that I first found an interest in comedy- he’s the one who introduced to such TV shows as Family Guy, the Simpsons, and South Park… all of which would shape my sense of humour (for better or for worse) and the type of writer and general smart-ass I was to become. He’s also one of the most laid-back, and relaxed people I have ever met.. You know that book “Don’t sweat the Small Stuff?”  Yeah. He wrote that. (ok, so it was actually some Richard Carlson dude… but it should’ve been him). And as an avid cartoon watcher and count-chocula eater at 35 years young, he has taught me to never take myself too seriously, and that if you can’t be silly and laugh at yourself, well then friend, you’re doing something wrong.

I could go on and on about all the reasons he’s awesome- but since a picture is worth 1,000 words, I thought I would share some photos to demonstrate some other things my brother is really good at (or at least, what his Facebook  tells me he’s good at). Enjoy.

1. Balancing small children on one knee:

It's harder than it looks, people.

2. Being a responsible pet owner

3. Posing introspectively in front of objects in nature:

I actually had to edit this list. I'm not even kidding.

3. Getting Married

Yah... HE DOES

4.  Rocking “Blue Steel” for photo ops:

FYI... I'm good at it too.

6. Identifying land from a distance:

Land ho, b*tches

7. Picnics

8. Wearing hats:

is he being ironic or serious? Who knows- he's THAT good.

9. Disguises

And finally:

10. Being the best big brother a girl could ask for:

oohh what how did this pic of me get in here??

Except for my other big brother. Or maybe Owen Wilson. Or Ben Affleck.. or Kevin Jonas. or Theo Huxtable. He’s up there anyway.

Question of the Day: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

P.S. I was forced to google “who is the oldest Jonas brother” for that last line. Perhaps a new low for me.


18 thoughts on “He Ain’t Heavy…..

Add yours

  1. This post left me smiling from ear to ear like a big silly cheshire cat. I love this loving and very sisterly post. It’s probably one of your best. You and your brother sound very much like the relationship my daughter and middle son have. I can only hope that they grow up to have the same amazing relationship that you seem to have with your brother. When my son went away to college, it was the hardest time for my daughter to have to be home without him as they are 8 years apart. But I know he has left her with an incredible sense of humor that could only be passed on with a good dose of teasing, tears, and tenderness that only a brother could give.

    Great post and Happy Birthday Stephen!


  2. I too come from a family of 5 children… Oh right- we’re in the SAME FAMILY!! Bwahaha

    Yeah- our family’s pretty awesome all in all. As the eldest, I can’t help but think I molded my successors in some way. By showing unwavering patience, a sense of humor in dire circumstances, and unconditional love, I believe I was a near- perfect role model for you younglings to admire and aspire to be.

    Since all of you are my besties, I think I did an ok job.


    Happy birthday , steffie!!! Love ya, little bro!! And I’ll never forget your unwavering loyalty to solving that pesky step- drag mystery!!


  3. What a sweet touching post. I have two sisters. I would love if one of them wrote something like this for me. But they’re not so creative. One spends all of her time Skyping while petting her cat. The other comments on pictures of the Skyping cat. They’re 12 years apart and that incredibly boring together.

    You’re posts about your childhood are always my favorite.


    1. I’m glad you like reading them- because they are some of my favourite to write. Much to the chagrin of my mother, because I make us all sound crazy on a regular basis


  4. Happy Birthday to your big brother! Great post. My brother’s a year younger but definitely acts like he’s my big responsible brother. And you know what, sometimes, I let him be that. 🙂


  5. I absolutely LOVED this post! And all the pictures that went with it.I`d take a post like this over a present ANYDAY! Stephen`s a lucky dude. Plus, your blue steel face is HAWT!.

    Also are you the baby in that costume photo?? Because if you are it looks like Batman there is trying to give you the Heimlich for no apparent reason.


  6. Your brother seems alright– he definitely comes off better than I do to my sisters. He can also totally pose out in nature like a total champ. That blue steel shot is also dripping with sexual energy and dark mystery from both parties. I was, frankly, as terrified as I was aroused.

    I really liked the Halloween costumes, especially whoever went as the freakishly large baby.

    A great post. The only thing I would change is that admission of the Jonas brother thing at the end.


  7. Awww…your brother is sure lucky to have a younger sister like you.

    Not my sister. Before I went into surgery last week, she asked me if she could have my iPhone “just in case” I didn’t make it!



  8. Loved the post and the photos. I have three older sisters and a little brother. He and I are the closest. We’ve traveled together and have plans to do more in the future. He’s the best thing my parents ever gave me–even better than the pony!


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