Sometimes I feel like I am living a double life.
Not in the made for tv-movie, “suburban soccer mom who exotic dances and turns tricks in a Chilis parking lot to support her coke habit …. and is also a man” sort of way, though. It’s a bit more subtle than that.
Though I’ve been feeling it for a while now- I really started thinking more about this “double-life” idea just the other day.
It was a particularly busy day at work, filled with meetings and a dinner in the evening- all of which requiring me to be in full-on, suited, corporate-mode. I also had tickets that night to see the band Tennis perform at Toronto’s Horseshoe Tavern, and was praying my dinner would be over in time to make it.
The dinner ran long- as they often do- and with every passing self-congratulatory speech, I began nervously checking my watch with increased frequency, worried about missing the opener. Finally, we were discharged, and I rushed back to my office where I had a change of clothes stashed in order to switch into something more “concert appropriate”.
Armed with my skinny jeans, boots and oversized scarf, I rushed into the women’s washroom to change. And as I awkwardly struggled to button up my jeans and generally indie-fy myself in a too-small bathroom stall, I realized the hilarity of the situation. I am totally having a Clark Kent moment right now, I thought to myself.
And it really was… except that this was a bathroom stall rather than a phone booth… and instead of super-human strength and leaping over tall buildings, my only “super powers” include being annoyingly sarcastic, and functional alcoholism. I’m guessing Clark Kent also never had to worry about the cleaning lady walking in while he was applying (way too much) eyeliner and mistakenly thinking he was a lady of the night. (to her, this probably seemed like more of a “Pretty Woman” moment).
So yeah, like Clark Kent, who by day is a mild-mannered reporter, by day I live my own buttoned down, corporate existence:
But by night, I’m a wannabe hipster; attending concerts at questionable establishments, and brunching at unmarked hole-in-the-walls with mismatched cutlery and dinnerware. (It’s ok though. It’s ironic).
Plus, on top of all that, I’ve got this blog, where I
air all of my dirty laundry and innermost neuroses share my super insightful thoughts on the world with all of you guys.
By no means do I think any of this is novel, or that my situation is unique. I think this is something many people struggle with- who we are at work is often very different from who we are at home with our families, when we’re out getting crunk with our friends, or even our blog personas. We all have our own little inconsistencies, it’s just a question of how much you can reconcile them.
I take comfort in the fact that none of us are alone in this,and maybe it’s true that to a certain extent, we all lead double lives. In fact, here are some famous examples:
The Australian hearthrob, famous for playing such roles as Wolverine in X-Men and a robot-boxing-promoter in Real Steel, is also a tony-award winning broadway singer, dancer and actor. This dichotomy has become so famous that it even now forms the basis of a recurring SNL skit, “The Best of Both Worlds with Hugh Jackman” where Hugh (played by Andy Samberg) interviews other famous guests with contradictory personalities.
Franco, most famous for being adorable and hilarious in such stoner comedies as Freaks and Geeks and Pineapple Express, also has, like 75 university degrees (and is currently obtaining his PhD in English from Yale), and is a published short-story writer and artist.
Who knew that Thelma was also a women’s olympic archery team semi-finalist?
So moral of the story? We’re all frauds. But hey, at least it makes things more interesting.