So, you’ll all be pleased to know that I made it home safe- and only mildly scarred by the fact that my Montreal to Halifax flight involved a loss of power; a one hour de-icing process on the tarmac; and a seatmate who had several full-on panic attacks during the flight (one even requiring the use of an air sickness bag for breathing). Air Canada, you are a de-light.
Anyway- the sad thing is that after all of that excitement, I’ve spent the past couple of days largely doing nothing whatsoever. I know. I really should’ve spread that shit out. Well, I shouldn’t say nothing- I have been getting up to a few antics…. including:
Man I missed this kid. She’s always up for a good time. Yesterday, for example, we wrote and starred in an original play entitled “The Old Woman and the Jungle” (rumoured to be hitting broadway in late 2012). I don’t wanna give the whole thing away here- but I can tell you that it involves apple picking; a cat named Crumple Ears; and an unlikely friendship.
- Watching a lot of daytime TV. It is a sad but true reality, that just yesterday I watched about 8 hours in a row of television. I’ve decided that I find pretty much every presenter on tv either extremely offensive or annoying…. Rachel Ray, Anderson Cooper, Dr. Oz , almost every Chef on the Food Network, Jeremy Kyle- I want to punch them all… but yet I can’t stop watching it. I feel far too compelled to find out how to make a decorative centrepiece fashioned entirely out of donut holes.. or a wreath made of toilet paper…. or that cancer cure I never knew existed right there in my cupboards.
*I don’t actually want to punch Jeremy Kyle. I want to give him an award for being the most badass TV personality of all time, and having the balls to say to his guests things like “GUESS WHAT?? Your wife’s a liar as well!!!”
- Not wearing anything but pajamas and/or sweatpants. Two words: aaawwww yeeeeeeeeaaa
- Eating. A lot. mostly chocolates, things involving cheese, and/or holiday baked goods. But I don’t really discriminate…. if it contains more than my recommended daily intake of calories- I’m interested.
- Arguing with my mother about our Christmas tree. So, this year my mom decided that she was done with the nonsense of cleaning up needles, and decided to switch up our beautiful, regular live tree for an artificial one. Now, I don’t really have anything against artificial trees as a concept– what I do have a problem with though, is this artificial tree:
Shit looks like Charlie Brown’s pygmy reject that went on a hunger strike in protest of being its own damn self. Needless (pun intended) to say, it has become my own personal mission to annex this tree from our home… which shouldn’t be hard, given that I clearly beat it in both physical stature and holiday cheer.
So that’s what’s been happening with BreezyK- stay tuned for more of these extremely high quality literary updates on my life.. or, do yourself a favour and don’t. Hope you guys are all having a wonderful holiday season- and let me know: