Throwback Thursday: Who Wants To Know?

Well, it’s Thursday- and you know what that means: time to check in on some of our favourite has-beens celebrities from days gone by!

In my last edition of Throwback Thursday, I solicited recommendations for more celebrities to exploit follow up on, and man, you guys did NOT disappoint. You came up with some real, certified, D-List gems- and that’s saying something, considering I thought most of them were on Celebrity Rehab or Couples Therapy already.

  Anyway, your wish is my command Google search! For each of these artists I’ve answered the age-old question “Where are they now?” - so grab some popcorn and watch as the train wrecks unfold!

Jimmy Ray

If you were alive in 1997 and still had functioning ear drums after being subjected to “My Heart Will Go On” eleventy billion times, then you are undoubtedly familiar with this song:

With these amazing lyrics, cheekbones for days, and hair that defied all natural laws of gravity, it seemed  Jimmy Ray was destined for superstardom.

  Alas- it was not meant to be. Apparently Jimmy suffered some “creative differences” with his label, and after producing a few more ill-fated singles, they dropped his ass. The English rockabilly crooner was left  to join the ranks of such other one-hit wonders as Chumbawamba and Lou Bega (Mambo No. 5 anyone?).

So what’s a boy with nothing but a dream, some perfectly cuffed jeans and a glamorous novelty belt buckle to do? 

Well I’ll tell you what he’s NOT doing: sitting at home, clutching his solid gold single and crying into his brylcreem. 

(Well, maybe a little)

Instead, Jimmy marched his signature pout and devil-may-care attitude down the street to someone who actually gave a damn. Now he’s a member of the Airplayers, a song production team producing pop acts mainly in the UK and Europe. (He also has a LinkedIn profile, so you know he’s serious.)

I can’t find a recent pic, but for the love of God, I hope he hasn’t lost all his hair. 

Color Me Badd

 … I mean, they really need no introduction. The early 90′s R&B group from Oklahoma sold over 12 million albums in the U.S. with such hits as “I Wanna Sex You Up” and “All 4 love” – all while rocking  jewel-toned pantsuits.  

A moment of silence for that trend, please.

Anyway, after schooling us all in the arts of synchronized dance routines and color blocking:

Color Me Badd broke up in 2000, and the four members went their separate ways.

• Sam Watters became a record producer and married American Idol alum Tamyra Grey

• Mark Calderon became a Christian recording artist
• Kevin Thorton was ordained as a Minister,  and
• Bryan Abrams was up on domestic violence charges.

Really living up to that second “D”, buddy

Although the R&B Angels sing no more, their legacy still lives on by inspiring such parody videos as Lonely Island’s “D*ck In A Box”.

… and at the end of the day, that’s what every band wants, isn’t it?

5ive

If you were a teenage girl in the late 90′s, then don’t even pretend you didn’t lose your sh*t every time “When The Lights Go Out” came on at your high school dance:

You know you rocked your kerchief top and cargo pants on the dance floor so hard at least one of your butterfly clips flew out and wedged itself in some unsuspecting kid’s braces.

It wasn’t your fault. These dudes were certified lady killers: “Slam Dunk Da Funk”, “Got the Feelin”, “If Ya Gettin Down” – need I go on??

Sadly, 5ive’s time in the spotlight was short-lived. The Brit boy band, which was created by the same producers as The Spice Girls (and included a member named “Abz Love”), split up in 2001 after- you guessed it- “creative differences”. The boys’ post-breakup history is pretty much par for the course: failed solo careers, stints at music production, domestic abuse allegations, oh- and of course a reality show.

That’s right. Earlier this year, 5ive teamed up with fellow has-beens 911, Atomic Kitten, B*Witched, Honeyz and Liberty X, for the British documentary series The Big Reunion, which followed the bands as they prepared for a reunion concert.

This is 5ive now. Not bad, amiright??

I have obviously been scouring the internet for footage of this train wreck but haven’t been able to find it. UK readers- help a sista out. Where can I watch this television gold? 

Question of the Day:  What other has-beens have you wondered about? 

When Did Vowels Stop Being Cool?

As I was perusing my iTunes the other day, I noticed a bit of a disturbing trend.

…No, I am not referring to my extensive collection of Phil Collins albums. There is nothing weird nor disturbing about loving an 80′s singer/songwriter with the voice of an angel.

What I’m actually talking about is the alarming number of bands who are dropping vowels from their names like one of Clooney’s girlfriends post awards season.

Don’t worry Stacy. I’m sure he’ll change for you.

Seriously:

MGMT

CVRCHES

HRVRD

MSTRKRFT

Even Madonna has started going by “MDNA” recently.

At first I assumed that vowels were just another casualty in the endless pursuit of the ultimate ironic band name (“Dale Earnhardt Jr.Jr.” and “Com Truise” anyone?);but after a little research, I discovered this trend was actually part of a wider phenomenon known as “disemvowelling”.

“Disemvowelling” (besides just being a really great pun) is the art of rewriting a piece of alphabetic text with all of the vowel letters removed. According to Wikipedia, It was first developed in 2002 as a way to limit unwanted comments on internet sites. The technique would strip the vowels from offensive comments, rendering them harder to read and sending a message about appropriate conduct. Disemvowelling later went on to become a common feature of SMS text language.

Disemvowelling has been experiencing a bit of a heyday as of late with the resurgence of minimalist branding- a form of advertising where designers strip away all the fluff and keep the only important things.

Sorry for making you all crave nutella.

If you live in an urban centre, I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of this lately. I feel like every time I turn around there’s a new restaurant in Toronto called “MRKT” something or other which
seats about 5 people and is furnished with exposed lightbulbs and metal stools.

But it’s not just the bougie places- even the low brow brands are getting involved:

I have mixed feelings about all of this. On the one hand, I find it sort of gimmicky and annoying. It makes your band/restaurant/product something I never want to say out loud for fear of messing it up- like all that fancy sh*t on restaurant menus.

Part of me also sees it as yet another erosion of the English language. Is it really necessary to sacrifice spelling and grammar at the expense of making an impact? .

Plus, all of this has the potential of putting Vanna out of a job, and quite frankly, I think we should all be a little more concerned about that.

I was all set to write an entire post hating-on this, until I discussed it with a musician friend of mine who suggested that this trend makes sense, given that the English language itself is inherently limiting. There are a finite number of words, and ways you can say them. Creative types understand this innately, and try to supplement what can’t be said through music, art and other mediums. Creating new words or ideas by dropping vowels, adding numbers, or spelling things uniquely is just another way to stretch the boundaries of language to do something meaningful.

It’s a good theory in principle- but at the same time, I have a hard time believing that’s what N’SYNC had in mind:

Who knows though. They were the voice of a generation.

Question of the Day: Disemvowelling: Yay or Nay?

Throwback Thursday: 90′s Edition

Fasten your seatbelts, kids- because I’m about to take you on a trip down memory lane the masochistic nostalgia highway with yet another round of have beens, washed ups and never-weres.

Yes, it’s Throwback Thursday again- and this week, we’re kicking it 90′s style.   

The inspiration for this TBT actually came from an experience I had at a play a couple of weeks ago here in Toronto.

Yes, you read that correctly: BreezyK went to the theaaaataaah! Clearly I’ve been spending way too much time with Intellectual Dachshund.

All the world’s a stage and…. hey, who moved my scotch?

Anyway, I was standing in line at the box office waiting for my homies, when suddenly I spotted a handsome gentleman to my immediate right. I was like

I turned my head to take a closer look, only to discover that this “cute guy” was actually BRANDON FREAKING WALSH!!!

 Yes- Jason Priestley was standing directly beside me, breathing the very same air. I wanted to say something snarky like “hey, wanna go to the Peach Pit after this?” or  “how’s Brenda? still reeling from that pregnancy scare?”

But I refrained, and instead focused on obsessively studying every detail of his face. He was wearing a red K-Way type jacket, and looked a little worse for the wear- sort of like a hot dad post-soccer practice.

He was also shorter than I expected, but had movie star eyes: the kind that melt your heart and haunt your soul at the same time. We held eye contact for roughly 3 seconds. (I counted.) 

Obviously I had to Google him afterwards. It’s the responsible thing to do once you start dating someone new. I discovered that after such career highs as Choices of the Heart: The Margaret Sanger Story and People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful 1991, Jason bounced around for a while before landing the role of a morally flexible car salesman on HBO’s Call Me Fitz. 

The show has received some critical acclaim and firmly re-trenched the Canadian starlet in D-List celebrity territory. Priestley is also starring in David Mamet’s new play “Race”, opening here in Toronto on Sunday. So, if you need me, I’ll be sitting in the front row, wearing my ratty old 90210 shirt and cheering on my man until further notice. Jason, if you’re reading this- let’s try to make it 4 seconds this time.  ;) 

Savage Garden

This TBT is brought to you by the Bellagio hotel lobby, whose unofficial radio policy is: “All Savage Garden, All The Time”.

I swear I heard their songs more times in the past 4 days than in the past 10 years combined.  (Not that I’m complaining.)

For those of you who didn’t slow dance to “Truly Madly Deeply” with your grade 6 boyfriend like I did, I’ll give a little background: Savage Garden was an Australian pop/rock duo who first hit it big in North America back in 1998. Something about “Chicken Cherry Cola”.

The band consisted of Darren Hayes on vocals and Daniel Jones on instrumentals. After producing a handful of hits in the late 90′s, the pair split up in 2001 so Hayes could pursue his solo endeavours. 

Hayes came out with the song “Insatiable” in 2002 which I never heard but somehow has over 4 million YouTube hits???

I initially credited this to his glorious frosted tips in the video:

but joke’s on me, because Darren Hayes is actually a legit TBT success story! He has done four solo albums since Savage Garden, all of which have been commercially successful. According to Wikipedia, he also came out as being gay in the early 2000′s and is a huge a Star Wars buff. Who Knew!

Chumbawamba 

Now I know y’all remember pissing the night away to this one:

But what has happened to the Brit band since?

Well, apparently Chumbawamba has been together for almost 30 years (!!) and was originally formed as an anarchist movement.

After gracing the world with their surreptitiously anti-facist party anthem “TubThumping”, Chumbawamba had a bit of an identity crisis. They signed under multiple different labels, recording songs in basically every genre possible: techno, punk, world, a capella folk. They even released a Japan-only mini album (wtf is that?) consisting entirely of country and western versions of their greatest hits. Oh, and I almost forgot- they also sometimes go by the name “Skin Disease”.

Apparently they got tired of being the weirdest band on earth, because in 2012, they decided to call it quits.

So I know I say this about everyone, but this band REALLY needs their own reality show. I would totally watch that noise.

Off to find a way to make that happen!

Question of the Day: Any 90′s stars you wonder about?

Throwback Thursday: Where Are They Now?

I’m a sucker for a good Friends re-run.  Anytime I hear an episode playing, or catch a glimpse of it on TV, I automatically feel compelled to watch it.

It’s like I’m being pulled by some sort of centrifugal force. Kind of like how Kramer felt about Mary Hart…. only exactly the opposite.

Anyway, the other day I found myself watching an episode;  and as the iconic theme song filled the room, and my heart with nostalgia, I got to thinking about The Rembrandts.

Remember them? They had a massive hit back in 1995 with the mind-numbingly awful yet unbelievably catchy ”I’ll Be There For You” , but what have they done since?

A quick Google search informed me that The Rembrandts (otherwise known as Phil Solem and Danny Wilde) had one other hit: the emo slow jam “That’s Just the Way it is (Baby”). Apparently, however, the stress of 2 hit songs was too much for them, and they split up shortly thereafter. Solem wanted to concentrate on his own band Thrush, while Wilde released his own solo album.

Both of these solo efforts met with about as much success as David Schwimmer’s movie career:

So they eventually got back together in 2000, and have since released about 17 greatest hit(s?) albums. They also  write and produce music for other really current and relevant bands, like The Gin Blossoms. Other than that, I think they’re probably just busy hot oiling their hair, wearing round sunglasses, and cashing in on all their Friends royalties.

Syndication, baby! Ca-Ching! $$

Incidentally, that episode also guest-starred Jennifer Grey as Barry’s fiance, Mindy. Obviously I needed a little refresher on what Baby was up to as well.

Well, apparently that nose job wasn’t so “career ending” after all because home girl won Dancing with the Stars in 2010 and is now starring in lifetime movies! Holla!

Take that, haters!

All of this got me thinking back to some other forgotten has-beens celebrities from my past.. like:

B4-4

Canadian ladies of my vintage will undoubtedly remember the hot mess of seashell necklaces, spiky hair and sub-par vocals that was B4-4.

The band, which consisted of Toronto twins Ryan and Dan Kowarsky and their friend Ohad Einbinder,  hit it big in 2000 with their single “Get Down”:

WARNING: This video contains scenes some viewers might find disturbing. Like Orange and yellow parachute pants.. and Mank Tops.

I never heard much of them after this, but Wikipedia tells me that they went on to become a giant hit in Germany.

David Hasselhoff and B4-4? Germany, I may never understand you.

They also used their fledgling celebrity status for a good cause by promoting an anti- frosted tips Smoking Campaign for the European Union alongside Moby.

The band broke up shortly thereafter, and Ryan and Dan decided to branch out on their own and form the inventively named pop/opera duo “RyanDan” .

I just can’t even.

According to the RyanDan website, they are releasing a new album soon. Get ready ladies!!

And as for Also-ran (I mean, Ohad Einbinder), apparently he works in music production now and developed a pair of headphones that transform into a boombox. Watch out for the film adaptation in 2014 starring Shia Labeouf.

Natalie Imbruglia

The Australian sensation had a giant hit here in North America in 1997 with her song “Torn”, which I was legitimately obsessed with back in grade 6.

I made an entire mixtape of it just this song, and listened to it so much that my mom and dad tried to impose a two-times-a-day limit. I also got my hair cut just like hers; failing to consider that the effect might be slightly different on a prepubescent, mildly overweight 12-year-old than on an Australian pop star.

Once I had my haircut, I would put on my matching grey hoodie and Chinese print tee, set my mixtape to “play” and lip sync in front of the mirror for hours. I had all the moves from the video down pat.. which mostly involved flailing my arms around and looking distressed.

This was not a proud time in my life.

So what has she been up to since? Well, apparently she was a judge on Australian X-factor and was married to Daniel Johns from Silverchair, but is now divorced. Currently, she is an  unsigned artist.

I also stumbled across her Instagram the other day, which didn’t tell me much, except that she has long hair now, and really likes Koala Krisp:

Damn, that b*tch looks good in anything. Off to buy my own box of cereal and mimic this pose.

Question of the Day: Any forgotten celebs you’re wondering about?

(I’ll save you the 30 seconds and Google them for you)

Always Remember That You Are Unique. Just Like Everybody Else.

You guys, I have to begin with a piece of breaking news: SOMEONE RETURNED MY HAIRBRUSH!!!

The lovely cleaning lady at the gym took pity on me when I told her my harrowing tale of loss and sorrow, and directed me to a second location where they sometimes keep lost items. Lo and behold, there was my brush! AND my facewash!

My faith in humanity has been restored. Note, however, that the other two brushes remain outstanding.  This means that the probability of a BreezyK hair doll existing continues to be high.

Now onto item of business #2: Both Ross Murray and Twin Daddy gifted me with the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

Ross is the hilarious and insightful blogger behind Drinking Tips for Teens, and, more importantly  a fellow Nova Scotian. Holla!

And of course, many of you know TwinDaddy of StuphBlog fame from his mysterious StormTrooper Avatar, faithful commenting and UnShitty Trademark. Now go and visit them both! (You know, after you finish reading this post.)

So the rules of the game are as follows:

• link back the person who nominated you (done),
• state 7 facts about yourself, and
• nominate 7 other bloggers for the award.

Wow, this is going to be so different from all my other posts! I never write about myself! (Just kidding, that’s all I do.)

Here goes:

1. I regularly walk into Godiva with no intention of buying anything. I just linger there long enough to get a free sample, then leave.

2. I went snowshoeing last weekend for the first time ever.

I’m not gonna lie, I kind of expected my snowshoes to look different.

Exhibit A: What I thought my snowshoes would look like:

 

Exhibit B: What my snowshoes actually looked like:

Oh well, it was still a lot of fun, and a surprisingly good workout. Here’s a pic of me and my friends, just killing it:

3. Speaking of killing it, remember my New Year’s resolution to read 52 books in 2013?

Well, I am pleased to report that I’m on book #5 so far this month. That’s right, fools. I eat pieces of literature for breakfast.

Here is the book I’m currently reading/something I hope never happens to me:

Maybe I’ll do some reviews??

4. Lately I’ve been having the urge to cut my hair like Tegan and/or Sara in the video for Closer:

I won’t do it though, because I fear it might be misinterpreted as a cry for help.

5.  Sometimes, when I’m running on the treadmill, I’ll just listen to the same song over and over again. Most recently, it’s been this one:

I used to think this was weird/OCD behavior, until Mindy Kaling Tweeted this:

Never stop being my soul sister, Mindy.

6. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (@breezyk1) then you already know this, but I went for a lovely 3.5 hour brunch with Karen of The Chronicles on Sunday.

Between us, we managed to consume 2 orders of eggs benedict, 7 americanos and an entire bag of donuts.

Hold your applause, please.

7. I went to a one-man show last night called Catalpa. It was at a little indie theatre in TO, and was all sorts of weird and amazing. Dude played over 20 characters himself, including a whale, a seagull and a storm. (Which, for the record, aren’t even human, so….) It’s playing until Saturday so, if you’re in the area, check it out!

Now, to nominate 7 other bloggers:

Lily – My long-legged Canadian homegirl who is also CRAFTY. Jealouss

Karen – As I’ve said before, passing on all blogging awards to her was a condition of our marriage contract.

Katie- She’s sassy and balderdashy. Is that an adjective? I just made it one.

Tori Nelson- Because she is a haute mess. And really, really funny.

Cowboys and Crossbones- Cause she loves cocktails, fashion and nail art just as much as I do.

New York Cliche- A new favorite of mine- I’m mostly jealous of her big apple life.

Cafe – My fellow Torontonian with a MAD set of pipes.

Also, the lovely and talented Sarah of Diary of a House Elf bestowed upon me the Wonderful Team Membership Reader Award.

Since I’m all tapped out of interesting facts, I”ll just skip straight to the 14 9 nominees. (14 is way higher than I can count).

Because I’m lazy they’re awesome, I’m also giving this one to the 7 b*tches above. And for the sake of equality (and the continuation of our blogging species) I’ll throw a couple guys into the mix:

• Our Life in 3D- he’s giving away candy canes and old Halloween treats! Seriously.
• Ben – because he really needs a reason not to be bitter.

Go check them out! Just don’t be disappointed when they aren’t as good as I am. Just kidding I’m not kidding.

Question of the Day: Have you ever been snowshoeing?

I swear that’s how you spell it.

Nothing Says Love Like A Mixtape (Giveaway!)

Around this time of year, I start to get a little sentimental. I think about my family, my friends, my Starbucks barista, my Thai delivery guy, and everyone else who makes this sad, lonely existence a little bit more bearable every day.

Oh, and of course, all of you! Blogging keeps me (at least somewhat) happy and sane, and I love having readers like you guys who accept the challenge of wading through my mindless drivel every day. (I recognize this may be just a manifestation of your own self-loathing. I’ll still take it.) Reading your comments and all of your own hilarious posts keep me inspired on a daily basis, and for that I’d like to say thank you.

……………With a mixtape!!

For those of you who have been following lately, you will be pleased to know that after much annoying posting about it research and consideration, the track list for Breezyk’s 2012 Year In Review Mixtape has officially been finalized!

My inaugural year in review mixtape features 16 of my favourite tracks from albums that debuted in 2012, and is a solid mix of indie, pop, hip-hop and other cool hipster genres that you’ve probably never heard of. (See some example tracks here, here and here)

It was tough work cutting it down to 16 tracks though. There might be a B-Side. Stay tuned.

Anyway, I am giving away 5 of these puppies to you lucky readers! (I realize it’s sort of presumptuous to think that 5 of you would even want it.. but let’s just play along shall, we?  I was up until 2:00 a.m. making this thing)

If you want to enter, leave a comment below telling me what you want for Christmas. Bonus entries are available if you follow the Camel Life on Facebook (see the sidebar) or on Twitter @thecamellife.  Tis the season of shameless blog promotion!

I will pick 5 lucky winners at random who will be mailed a copy of my mixtape, along with a hand-written, non-denominational, environmentally conscious, fiscally responsible, gluten-free Holiday card. And maybe even a gender-neutral Easy Bake Oven. We’ll see.

Contest Remains open until Friday, December 21, 2012 at 5:00p.m. Eastern Time. Good luck!

Question of the Day: What do you want for Christmas?  

(or, if you don’t celebrate Christmas – what’s one thing you’re currently coveting?)

And just as a teaser, here’s track #4 for your listening pleasure:

Like Father, Like Daughter

So as I mentioned in my last post, my dad came to visit me in Toronto this weekend.

Since his birthday is on Christmas and he perpetually gets the shaft gift-wise, my siblings and I decided to chip in this year and get him tickets to the Buffalo Bills game happening here.

Now, given my dad lives in small town Nova Scotia and has only been to Toronto once 30 years ago, I kind of expected his visit to resemble one 48 hour-long episode of Breaking Amish.

But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Dad soaked up Toronto like a sponge and wanted to experience everything it had to offer. He seriously wore me out. I’ve gotta start taking those iron pills.

The weekend got off to a rough start, however, when we experienced a slight luggage snafu at the airport. (I just love the word “snafu”. It makes even the most horrific problems sound like charming little anecdotes). I won’t get into too much detail because it’s kind of a long story, but know that in the end, we emerged victorious. And there might have been a little low-level B&E involved (By him, not by me of course: I have a professional reputation to uphold).

All’s well that ends well, right??

Anyway, with lady luck on our side, we prepared to tackle the rest of the weekend. (<— football pun).

Some highlights included:

• Brunch Dates: (Sorry Karen.. had to cheat on you just this once)

• My very first visit to the CN Tower

(And no, I did not step foot on that glass floor. Heights and I do naaaat get along.)

• The Hockey Hall of Fame

Ladies- a word to the wise. If you plan on accompanying a man here, bring reading material. And maybe a flask. (Unless you’re one of those progressive ladies who are really into sports. In which case, have fun… and ignore my anti-feminist propaganda. )

• The Allan Gardens Conservatory:

• The St. Lawrence Antiques Market

This was a win for both of us. I checked out vintage jewellery and books while he bartered over old coins. I even scored this sweet vintage 1968 Bulova. #treat

• He even got me to go to church. At least I got this cool instagram pic:

And, of course, the Bills game:

To say he loved it would be an understatement. We got kicked out of the stadium for lingering there so long afterwards. He loved the crowd and seeing all of the behind-the-scenes stuff you don’t see on TV.

I, on the other hand, amused myself by taking pictures:

Reaffirming my love for cracker jacks, and of course, Psy’s halftime performance.

Does this feel like a really long 15 minutes to anyone else?

I also feel like I got to know my dad a lot better this weekend. Like for one thing, he asks a LOT of questions. Here is just a small sampling of the many queries he had for me:

• Are the Concession vendors inside Rogers Centre paid an hourly rate or by commission?
• Who owns this building/when was it built/what is the occupancy/how many stories is it (Re: every single building we were in)
• What does your landlord’s boyfriend do for a living?
• Are the subway cars the same on both ends? What happens when it gets to the end of the line?

I guess I can’t really fault him; I, too, was notorious for my relentless questioning as  a child. I remember asking my older sister what other names my parents had considered for me, and she responded “Sun Yeoung”.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“She who asks too many questions.”

What’s that about an apple and a tree?

He was truly obsessed with the subway though.

He had never been on one before, and kept trying to convince me to take it to the end of the line just to see what would happened. Of everything we did this weekend, he told me the Bills game was his favourite, followed by riding the subway. I told him he was like a little kid who gets a gift and likes the box better than the present itself.

Dad also made like 800 new friends talking to every single person he encountered. Ticket scalpers, homeless people, construction workers, TTC employees, you name it. He knows all of them by name and their life stories. I hope he doesn’t get wind of the fact that we’re looking for a new mayor here in Toronto, or I may never have my apartment to myself again.

Question of the Day: Are you like your dad? Your mom?

P.S. I know you’ve been waiting for it. Here it is, folks: Track 3 from the mix-tape nobody cares about!

Ain’t Got No Love For the Ding Dong?

So I know you’ve probably had enough of me after that long-ass diatribe I wrote last night about my experience at Sleep No More, but shockingly, I’ve got a few more things left to say.
Let’s just call this the “Friday Roundup of Randomness” shall we? (Or don’t, because that’s awful. )

1. Can we talk about Jamie Foxx hosting SNL last weekend?

Nailed it. From his monologue featuring 2 Chainz, to his portrayal as host of the game show “B*ttch, What’s the answer?” to his performance as a disgruntled Hostess Ding Dong, 2 thumbs way up.

2. I have no time for impatient people (<;;— see what I did there?). Especially the ones in line behind you at the grocery store who load all their stuff onto the belt and then push their empty carts alongside the register and edge you out completely as you're trying to pay. God FORBID you want to go back and get that package of mentos you've been eyeing, because face it buddy, you're f*cked now. You have nowhere to go but OUT.

3. My new favourite person to Twitter-stalk is Judd Apatow. Not only does he tweet back all of his fans, he posted like 100 self-pics from the This is 40 premiere. I’m working on the perfect tweet to him as we speak. I’m thinking something short, sweet, and to the point. i.e.:

“@juddapatow: Who’s Leslie?”

3. Instagram tells me that Lena Dunham and Aubrey Plaza are friends now.

WHY AM I NOT IN THIS PICTURE

4. I tuned into Real Housewives of New York the other night after a brief one-season hiatus. Apparently, I missed a lot. Like who are all these new b*tches? Where’s crazy Jill Zarin? And wtf is “Yummy Tummy”? Someone fill me in.

5. (This one I’m really excited about): My dad is coming to Toronto this weekend! Frequent blog readers know him as the crazy, reindeer print making husband of the even crazier neat freak/religious zealot that is my mother.. but I just know him as dear old dad. He’s in town for the Buffalo Bills game in Tdot on Sunday and we’re gonna paint the town red. (And by that I mean visiting the hockey hall of fame, going to church and eating at diners).

6. I wrote this post on my iPhone with my WordPress app. #sotechy

And finally, who wants to hear track 2 from my highly anticipated year in review mixtape??

EVERYONE? Ok, here it is:

Question of the Day: What are you doing this weekend? or, any random things to complain about?

P.S. for all you techies out there : in the words of Drunk Uncle: twitter me! Twitter me! @thecamellife
Or, holla at my Instagram: @breezyk1

Don’t Look Ahead There’s Stormy Weather

So I know I promised you all stories about my trip to New York, but I have to admit that for the past week and a half, I have been experiencing a moderate to severe case of writer’s block.

My writing teacher used to say that writer’s block isn’t a real thing; it’s just a manifestation of one’s fear and anxiety. Well, I kind of wanted to punch him in the face every time he said that, because sometimes it is a real thing. Sometimes you really just can’t think of anything to say. And other times, you’d just rather lay on your couch watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and identifying all the places you’ve been while eating questionably  old Kernels Popcorn.. and that’s ok.

Met her

So although I haven’t been blogging, I have been channeling my creative energy in other ways. Like obsessively planning all of my Holiday outfits. And working on my inaugural ”BreezyK Year in Review” Mixtape.

What’s that? You want to hear the first track? K:

Now, don’t go getting any ideas about how cool I am, because the other 16 tracks are probably all going to be Nicki Minaj and  One Direction.

Kidding. I’m not kidding.

Speaking of One Direction, can we talk about T-Swift and Harry Styles for a minute?

I have to admit, that for a 27-year-old woman, I am unreasonably jealous about this. I mean, just look at how skinny these jeans are:

He obviously belongs with me. Harry, don’t you know that Taylor’s skinny ass is just going to dump you in 4-6 weeks and then write another drony album about it? I would never, ever, do you like that.

In other news, I’m also in a funk because I haven’t been running lately. I developed a bad case of plantar fasciitis or some sh*t (or at least that’s what my Doctor,WebMD, tells me) from walking catwalks around New York last week in inappropriate footwear.

So in order to maintain my perfect physique, I’ve been forced to use the elliptical. Guys, let me tell you. I thought there was nothing worse than the treadmill, but THERE IS. Sh*t is SO. BORING! Plus, it makes me feel like the female incarnation of Tony Little whenever I am on it… minus the glorious hair.

It  basically makes me want to strangle myself with my iPod headphones. But instead, I just focus on Rachel Ray cooking things that would obviously take way longer than 30 minutes in real life. Why do they play cooking shows at the gym by the way? It seems a bit of a perverse incentive, no?

And I guess I shouldn’t say I haven’t been writing at all. I have been working on a children’s story about a clumsy Zebra named Patrick. It isn’t very good.

Anyway, that’s all I got for ya. I swear I’m brewing something good soon. Keep the faith guys. I’m going to stop talking now.

Question of the Day: Do you work out at the gym? Are you a treadmill/elliptical type of person?

I’m Not Addicted, I’m Committed

Well, it’s Friday, and all I really want to talk about is this week’s episodes of X-Factor (my love for Demi Lovato knows no bounds) and Ian’s epic win on Big Brother 14:

Quack, Quack muthaf*ckaas!

But I can’t, because duty calls.

And by duty, I mean eating my Friday morning almond croissant. But also this:

Rainbowpaths presented me with the Addictive Blogger Award, and I have to write a post accepting the award and passing it onto some other very deserving bloggers:

The rules of the award are as follows:

• Thank the person awarding you.
• Share a little about why you blog and how the journey started.
• Paste the blog award on your page.
• Nominate 10 other bloggers you feel deserve the award.

First off, thank you Rainbowpaths! You’re lovely and oh-s0-international.

Secondly.. why do I blog?

Well, I think Marni from HBO’s Girls put it best when she said:

Just kidding. Sort of.

I started blogging because, like the rest of my generation, I’m narcissistic and entitled and believe that everyone wants to hear everything I have to say all of the time.

Ok, again, that’s not true. (Or is it??)

Really, I started this blog  as an outlet for all of my random, ridiculous thoughts on life and to give my friends and family a break from having to listen to me all the time. I’ve kept it up because it’s a lot of fun and a great stress relief. I have a pretty stressful job with a lot of pressure and long hours, and if you don’t make the time to laugh and  to do the things you love, then it’s curtains for you, my friend. Coyyytains.

Also, I just straight up love making people laugh. Whether it’s a cat gif or a story about my sad, lonely existence, if I’ve brightened your day a little, then my work here is done.

Now for the nominating part:

One of the other great things about blogging has been all of the funny, talented and creative people I’ve gotten to know through their writing. You guys are sick, and truly inspire me every day. AWWWW.

That having been said, here are 10 blogs I find super addictive:

1. A Confederacy of Spinsters. Some seriously funny chicks. I wish they weren’t anonymous so I could be friends with them.

2. Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea: I know I’ve said this before, but this has gotta be the best premise for a blog, like ever..

3. Aimless Last Words: She’s young, witty and sarcastic… and basically reminds me of myself

4. The Byronic Man. Dude is hilarious, and knows how to fold a fitted sheet.

5. Stride and Joy:  A seriously determined runner who is doing 52 runs in 52 weeks! holla!

6. Kate from Let’s Get Milkshakes: One of my new guilty pleasures- girl is seriously funny.

… and I’m running out of time and have to get to work, so instead of four more blogs, how about I just post 4 more cat pictures from my extensive collection:

Oh business cat. You get me every time.  Now go and read those blogs! C’mon. It’s Friday. You’re probably not doing any work anyway.

Oh, and if you’ve been checking the site lately, you may have noticed that the blog has been having a serious case of multiple personality disorder.  I want a new theme, but can’t seem to find one I like. For now I’ve got this whole teal/cloud business going on… but it’s seriously starting to look like a Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercial up in here, so I think that needs to be reevaluated.

Any computer whiz kids out there willing to hook a sista up and help me design a really cool theme?? If so, I’ll pay you in almond croissants. But not this one. This one’s mine. Contact me at thecamellife@gmail.com if you think you’re up to the task!

OH and ps. since this post is already 32 flavours of random, here’s a little tune to help get your Friday going. Enjoy!

Question of the Day: Why did you start blogging?