Started From The Bottom Now We’re Here

So I was perusing my Instagram feed the other day, marveling at Rihanna’s tattoos and wishing I had Jessica Alba’s life:

I mean.. seriousky

I mean.. seriously

when suddenly, this spiffy little WordPress notification popped up on my screen:

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I was like:

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Followed by:

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When I started this blog back in September, 2011, I never thought I would convince over 1,000 spambots and members of my immediate family   people to subscribe to my nonsense, but somehow, it happened.

….Ok, that’s a complete lie. I totally expected this sh*t to go viral and catapult me into superstardom. I’m talking book deal, my own sitcom, frequent media appearances, plus a line of highly successful licensed merchandise. 

BreezyK bobblehead anyone?

BreezyK bobblehead anyone?

I would of course, also become besties with Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham.

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What can I say? I watch too much TV.  

Anyway, since none of this has happened (YET),  I guess I’ll have to settle for you people.

I could tell you how much all of your likes, clicks and comments have meant to me over the past 18 months, but talk is cheap – so instead, I’mma put my money where my mouth is and say thanks with a

GIVEAWAY!

Since I have been going  through a bit of a “literature phase” lately and subjecting all of you to my unsolicited book reviews and misguided novel-writing attempts, I figured it was only fitting to give away a (wait for it…) book!

Intellectual Dachshund says: Literature and butterflies are the two sweetest passions known to man.

Intellectual Dachshund says: Literature and butterflies are the two sweetest passions known to man.

That’s right folks, one lucky reader will receive a copy of the book I’m currently reading:

Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris 

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Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls is the newest collection of essays from New York Times bestselling author (and my idol) David Sedaris.

Here is a brief description from his website because, honestly, it’s way too early for me to try to write my own:

From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new book of essays taking his readers on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler’s experiences. Whether railing against the habits of litterers in the English countryside or marveling over a disembodied human arm in a taxidermist’s shop, Sedaris takes us on side-splitting adventures that are not to be forgotten.

Basically, I want to be David Sedaris when I grow up. His book Naked was actually the inspiration for my starting a blog in the first place.  

IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE, FOLKS!

Anyway, in order to win, all you have to do is leave a comment below answering this question of the day:

What is the best book you’ve read so far in 2013?

You can also get an extra entry by either liking the Camel Life on Facebook or following me on Twitter. (I promise I’m only marginally annoying). 

*Contest only open to residents of Canada and the U.S. and Closes Tuesday, May 28th at 12:00pm EST.  

Good luck! 

Love,

BreezyK and Drizzy 

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for me for Funniest Blog in the indie chicks 2013 badass blogging awards!

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Treat Yo’ Self Day (and mixtape giveaway winners!)

If you watch the show Parks and Recreation, you will undoubtedly recognize the title of this post as the annual holiday celebrated by Tom (Aziz Ansari) and Donna (Retta) where they spend a day treating themselves to whatever they want.

Genius, right?

That’s why my mom, my sister, my aunt and I decided to take a page out Tom Haverford’s book and treat ourselves to a day at the spa on Friday. All of us have been so busy running around with Christmas preparations and buying gifts for everyone else, we figured why not get back to the true meaning of the holiday season: ourselves.

Plus, we obviously need to look our best for hitting up Tim Horton’s, Wal-Mart, the post office and all of the other small town Nova Scotia hotspots.

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I’m sort of overstating how fabulous my family actually is. We bought the spa services for my mom and my aunt as part of their Christmas gift, and my sister and I decided to join them because we are delusional and think we can just do gratuitous sh*t like that for no reason.

Given my limited holiday budget, I was planning on just getting a shellac manicure; but then I mentioned to my sister that I might like a facial too. And you know what she said?

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So I did.

It was a great afternoon of pampering and relaxation. I even fell asleep during my facial and woke myself up with my own snoring. (Yes, I just admitted that.) I was immediately self-conscious and worried about how long I’d been asleep for, but my facialist just gently dabbed my drool away with a warm towel and assured me that nearly everyone falls asleep. It’s all part of the process.

I was disappointed once again when she didn’t put cucumbers over my eyes. Think it’s safe to say that is definitely a myth.

I then bonded with my manicurist over our mutual love for makeup. She told me she is getting an airbrush makeup gun for Christmas, and obviously I am now obsessed with these.

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Guys, they make your skin look FLAWLESS. Like, I’m talking as airbrushed as this photo of Britbrit:

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They are not even a little bit cheap, but you know what I’m thinking?
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Alriiiiight.

Anyway,  since Treat Yo’ Self Day, not much else has been going on here. Just chilling with friends and family, eating obscene amounts of baked goods, and of course, the corresponding guilt-fuelled workouts. A new gym just opened here in town, which is pretty much the biggest news since our new sidewalk:

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Holla

Finally, let’s get to  why you are all reading this post in the first place: the winners of my mixtape giveaway!!!

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I tried using that random number generator to pick the winners, but despite the fact that I tweet like a pro and instagram like a boss, I’m otherwise technologically incompetent and couldn’t figure it out.

So I went with the obvious second choice: exploiting a small child.

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With the help of my lovely assistant,  we chose the following 5 winners via the ludite-proof “out of a hat” method.

Drumroll please:

623

626

629

And the winners are:

Beckydancer

Greg

Lily

Adventurespirit

Erin’s DC Kitchen

Congrats!! Holla at me with your mailing addresses @ thecamellife@gmail.com and I’ll send your prizes! Thanks again to all who entered :)

Question of the Day: How have you been spending your holidays so far?

Nothing Says Love Like A Mixtape (Giveaway!)

Around this time of year, I start to get a little sentimental. I think about my family, my friends, my Starbucks barista, my Thai delivery guy, and everyone else who makes this sad, lonely existence a little bit more bearable every day.

Oh, and of course, all of you! Blogging keeps me (at least somewhat) happy and sane, and I love having readers like you guys who accept the challenge of wading through my mindless drivel every day. (I recognize this may be just a manifestation of your own self-loathing. I’ll still take it.) Reading your comments and all of your own hilarious posts keep me inspired on a daily basis, and for that I’d like to say thank you.

……………With a mixtape!!

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For those of you who have been following lately, you will be pleased to know that after much annoying posting about it research and consideration, the track list for Breezyk’s 2012 Year In Review Mixtape has officially been finalized!

My inaugural year in review mixtape features 16 of my favourite tracks from albums that debuted in 2012, and is a solid mix of indie, pop, hip-hop and other cool hipster genres that you’ve probably never heard of. (See some example tracks here, here and here)

It was tough work cutting it down to 16 tracks though. There might be a B-Side. Stay tuned.

Anyway, I am giving away 5 of these puppies to you lucky readers! (I realize it’s sort of presumptuous to think that 5 of you would even want it.. but let’s just play along shall, we?  I was up until 2:00 a.m. making this thing)

If you want to enter, leave a comment below telling me what you want for Christmas. Bonus entries are available if you follow the Camel Life on Facebook (see the sidebar) or on Twitter @thecamellife.  Tis the season of shameless blog promotion!

I will pick 5 lucky winners at random who will be mailed a copy of my mixtape, along with a hand-written, non-denominational, environmentally conscious, fiscally responsible, gluten-free Holiday card. And maybe even a gender-neutral Easy Bake Oven. We’ll see.

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Contest Remains open until Friday, December 21, 2012 at 5:00p.m. Eastern Time. Good luck!

Question of the Day: What do you want for Christmas?  

(or, if you don’t celebrate Christmas – what’s one thing you’re currently coveting?)

And just as a teaser, here’s track #4 for your listening pleasure:

They’re Magically Delicious!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since starting this blog, it’s that you guys have some serious mad-ass love for cereal.

Honestly. Cereal: A Love Story  has become by far my most popular post to date; and the number of hits I get each day from people google searching the words “bowl of cereal”, or some combination thereof, is both pleasantly surprising, and somewhat concerning. Clearly we all need to go back to grade 7 and pay more attention during Home Economics classses. But I digress.

Recently, I learned that this relentless and undying love for cereal transcended blog readers and hungry google searchers, when it was featured on an episode of Glee.  

Damian McGinty – one of the two winners of Glee’s reality show The Glee Project – made his debut in this episode as Rory Flanagan, an Irish foreign exchange student staying with McKinley High cheerleader Brittany Pierce’s family.  If you’ve seen the show- then you know that  Brittany isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed; and of course was convinced that, because of his accent, Rory was a leprechaun. She asks him to grant her three wishes (in exchange for which, she’ll give him her “Pot of Gold”, if you know what im sayin); one of which being a box of marshmallow-only lucky charms. He miraculously delivers. and everybody’s all happy and singy and dancy, until that bitch Santana goes and ruins it all by telling Brittney that there’s no such thing as leprechauns.

Damn it, Santana, you dream killer! I wanted one of those boxes of lucky charms!!  

Anyway, in  honor of the Lucky Charms debut on Glee this season, they are giving away “Pot O’ Gold” themed Lucky Charms gift baskets- and I was generously offered one to give away on my blog!

The basket contains “everything you need to enjoy a magically delicious breakfast”- including a box of Lucky Charms Cereal, a bowl, and a spoon- just add milk.

(While I know it’s hard- please try your best to ignore the leprechaun’s frighteningly maniacal expression in this pic).

There’s also a some Lucky Charms flavoured chapstick, and a cool t-shirt made by Junk Food:

*Disclaimer alert- the T-shirt is a size XL – so sorry in advance to all you skinny bitches out there. The world really is such a cruel, and unfair place.

So if you want a chance to win it- leave a comment below answering the following question, and I’ll pick the winner using Randomizer.org:

How do you feel about Marshmallows in cereal? 

 Love em? Hate em? leave ‘em all till the end? Make sure to get one with every bite?  

Personally, I like to mix it up… I like a little sweet treat at the end, but the milk is already usually sugarfied enough for my liking at that point.

** Oh- and two more buzz-kill disclaimers: this sweet-ass contest is only open to residents of Canada and the United States, and all entries must be received by Friday, November 11 at 5:00p.m. Eastern Standard Time.  Good luck, bitches!!