Father’s Day is right around the corner, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve been far too busy patio drinking and getting your picks in for your office Bachelorette pool to find that something special for Dear Old Dad.
Well never fear, teetotalers and hapless procrastinators! BreezyK is here to help you out with 10 foolproof gift ideas dad will be sure to love this Father’s Day season!
1. Spray-On Hair
Dad can kiss that pesky bald spot goodbye with this groundbreaking new product! BONUS: works for ladies too, so mom won’t be left out!!
2. Built-In Socks With Sandals
As the boy scout motto attests: always be prepared! Your dad will be fashionable, chic and ready to mingle with this handy new product that will allow him to skip the integral step of socks first, then sandals. Just think of all the extra time he’ll have to mow the lawn and criticize your
life choices driving skills!
3. The Potty Putter
Your mom will love you for this one!
4. Richard Simmons “Disco Sweat” Workout DVD
If there are two things all dads love, it’s disco, and Richard Simmons. With this low-impact cardio workout set to such famous disco hits as “I Will Survive” and “Disco Inferno”, dad can burn away the calories while having fun doing it! Can you say, Daughter Of The Year award??
5. Spanx For Men
There are some trouble spots even Richard Simmons can’t fix. If your dad just can’t seem to shed those last 5 pounds (or just has a fierce affinity for pecan pie like mine does), help him out with this thoughtful and not-at-all offensive gift!
6. Piano Key Necktie
……………because it says “I want to be formal, but I’m also here to party”
… plus, it skyrocketed Mugatu to superstardom, so…
7. DIY Ride-On Lawnmower
Now that my dad is getting a little older, he’s having a hard time keeping up with the yard work the way he used to. My siblings and I considered getting him a ride-on lawnmower for Father’s day, but were blown away by the astronomical price tags.
Solution? The DIY lawnmower!
This handy (and inexpensive) little gadget has all the features of a store-bought lawnmower at just a fraction of the cost!! All you need is a bike (free if you steal one from a neighbourhood kid riding down the street) some string, a bit of silly putty and some cheap manual labour, and Voila! Perfect gift!
8. The Comfort Wipe
Your dad is awesome. Too awesome, in fact, to wipe his own ass. Show him you care about his
extreme laziness personal hygiene with this groundbreaking new product that turns a visit to the john into a hands-free experience!
9. This Awesome Visor
Finally- your dad can relieve the days of his follicled youth, while at the same time channeling Sex God Guy Fieri:
10. Recycled Artwork You Made As A Child
Remind dad of the budding little Picasso you once were with a beautiful piece of art you fashioned as a child. Not only is this gift simple inexpensive, and high on the nostalgia factor, it also shows your penchant for the three R’s: Reduce, Reuse and re
ally don’t give a fuck cycle. (Tip: Try not to use one with macaroni, because, let’s face it, that’s just gross.)
Alternative: If you can’t find an old piece of old artwork:
A free hug coupon
…because you’re never too old
….. and happy Father’s Day to the best dad around! I love you!