Started From The Bottom Now We’re Here

So I was perusing my Instagram feed the other day, marveling at Rihanna’s tattoos and wishing I had Jessica Alba’s life:

I mean.. seriously

when suddenly, this spiffy little WordPress notification popped up on my screen:

I was like:

Followed by:

 

When I started this blog back in September, 2011, I never thought I would convince over 1,000 spambots and members of my immediate family   people to subscribe to my nonsense, but somehow, it happened.

….Ok, that’s a complete lie. I totally expected this sh*t to go viral and catapult me into superstardom. I’m talking book deal, my own sitcom, frequent media appearances, plus a line of highly successful licensed merchandise. 

BreezyK bobblehead anyone?

I would of course, also become besties with Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham.

What can I say? I watch too much TV.  

Anyway, since none of this has happened (YET),  I guess I’ll have to settle for you people.

I could tell you how much all of your likes, clicks and comments have meant to me over the past 18 months, but talk is cheap – so instead, I’mma put my money where my mouth is and say thanks with a

GIVEAWAY!

Since I have been going  through a bit of a “literature phase” lately and subjecting all of you to my unsolicited book reviews and misguided novel-writing attempts, I figured it was only fitting to give away a (wait for it…) book!

Intellectual Dachshund says: Literature and butterflies are the two sweetest passions known to man.

That’s right folks, one lucky reader will receive a copy of the book I’m currently reading:

Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris 

Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls is the newest collection of essays from New York Times bestselling author (and my idol) David Sedaris.

Here is a brief description from his website because, honestly, it’s way too early for me to try to write my own:

From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new book of essays taking his readers on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler’s experiences. Whether railing against the habits of litterers in the English countryside or marveling over a disembodied human arm in a taxidermist’s shop, Sedaris takes us on side-splitting adventures that are not to be forgotten.

Basically, I want to be David Sedaris when I grow up. His book Naked was actually the inspiration for my starting a blog in the first place.  

IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE, FOLKS!

Anyway, in order to win, all you have to do is leave a comment below answering this question of the day:

What is the best book you’ve read so far in 2013?

You can also get an extra entry by either liking the Camel Life on Facebook or following me on Twitter. (I promise I’m only marginally annoying). 

*Contest only open to residents of Canada and the U.S. and Closes Tuesday, May 28^th at 12:00pm EST.  

Good luck! 

Love,

BreezyK and Drizzy 

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for me for Funniest Blog in the indie chicks 2013 badass blogging awards!

So, How You Comin’ On That Novel?

You may recall that back at the beginning of May, I announced that I was planning to write a novel in 30 days.

Well, since no one asked it’s the official halfway point, I figured I’d give a little update on how it’s been going.

So far, I’ve written approximately 22,500 words. That’s roughly 45% of the 50,000 word target, or, about 1,500 words per day.

Not bad, right? Except that it’s all total and complete garbage. 

Guys, I’m not kidding. The stench of rotten manuscript wafting from my minimized items right now is almost too much for me to handle. I call it “Eau de Broken Dreams and Misguided Aspirations”

The thing is full of plot holes, it’s totally unbelievable, and I currently have four different characters named Sergei. But that’s OK. The goal of this exercise is simply to get my words on paper- not to fuss with silly things like grammar, sentence structure and plotline.

….Right?

I won’t lie, it’s been pretty painful so far. I kind of want to kill myself/ throw my computer out the window/ eat 10 lbs of chocolate/ run away and never come back. But like a phoenix from the ash, out of my misery rise a few key lessons to be learned from all of this. Like…..  

 Writing Fiction Is Hard

Sometimes, I feel like the entire right side of my brain has been completely inactive for the past 10 years. Sure, I use it occasionally to write blog posts, but for the most part, it just sits there, dormant, letting its domineering evil stepbrothers logic and rational thought do all the work.

Writing a novel feels like grabbing the creative side of my brain with both hands, shaking it violently and waking it the hell up. As expected, for the first few days, ol’ righty remained slow, lethargic and low-functioning – sort of like me before I’ve had my coffee in the morning. 

But eventually it came around. Sort of. I’m still dealing with the giant hurdle of coming up with 50,000 words of original material in a ridiculously short period of time.  

Writing Fiction Is Fun!

(Did I convince you with that exclamation point? No? I didn’t really convince myself, either.)

Once you get past the fact that novel-writing is destroying much of your will to live, there are actually a few good things. Writing can be really fun when you’re not inhibited by pesky little parameters like “truth” and “accuracy”. Plus, it’s sort of cool to live vicariously through your characters. My main character is smart, sassy, and tells people off all the time- something I wish I could do more often.  

Plus, no matter how much it sucked, I still feel like this whenever I get my daily words in:

You’re Going to Run Out Of Ideas.. and That’s Where the Ninjas Come In

No matter how hard I tried, I still found it tough to come up with the recommended 1,667 words a day. I Googled some suggestions, and discovered something called a “Plot Ninja”.

A plot ninja is something you drop into the plot whenever you are at a loss for ideas. Traditionally, this has taken the form of actual ninjas who come crashing into the scene, disrupting things, but it can really be anything you want. My plot Ninja so far has been my main character going for drinks with her best friend. She’s pretty much an alcoholic at this point, but it’s also resulted in a few interesting scenes that never would have ended up in the plot otherwise.

When In Doubt.. Make it up

Another thing I didn’t anticipate was how much research was involved in novelling. Part of my story takes place in Russia, and the first few days, I spent hours Googling everything from typical Russian surnames to what year the Kremlin was built. Eventually, I decided to either leave what I didn’t know blank, or just make something up and go back and fix it later. Currently, the characters in my story consume only caviar, drink an excessive amount of vodka, and wear fur hats everywhere. That’s accurate, right?

Be Prepared To Hate Your Life

Not to be a Deborah K. Downer, but I have to admit that it’s extremely mentally and physically draining to write this much every day while working full-time, trying to do blog posts, keep up with my 52 book challenge and actually maintain a social life.

…………..Yes, I realize I did this all to myself, and yes I would like some cheese with that whine.

Only Dawson understands me

So to recap -  my first 15 days of Novelling: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I don’t know what comes after that.

Question of the Day: Have you ever written a novel?

…..Any tips to keep me from strangling myself with my computer cord?

P.S.  I nominated myself  was nominated for Funniest Blog in the 2013 Badass Blogging Awards! I would love you long time if you’d please take a second and go vote for me!

http://theindiechicks.com/badass-blog-awards-vote-for-your-favorite-bloggers/

 

10 Lessons From TV Moms

A wise woman once said, “It takes a village to raise a child”.

That, and “You can never have enough pantsuits”

…but we won’t hold that against her. 

In honor of this maxim (the village, not the pantsuits), this Mother’s Day, I’ll be celebrating not only to my own mom, but also all of the amazing TV moms who helped raise me. Claire Huxtable, Elyse Keaton, Vivian Banks, Kitty Foreman-  where would I be without all of their sage advice, no-non sense attitudes and witty one-liners? (Well, maybe a little more well- read. But that’s beside the point.)

Here, with the help of a few GIFS, are 10 lessons I learned from TV moms: 

1.    Stand Up For Yourself

…. you show those b*tches who’s boss 

2. You only have one family, so you might as well make the most of it.

3. Not everything that’s good for you is fun

4. Don’t worry so much about your appearance

………..You can have a harelip, crunchy bangs, or look like Mama June and someone will still love you.

5. It’s Important To Always  Be a Lady

6. Every once in a while, you need to eat a piece of humble pie

……………….Unless of course you’re Tina Fey

7. Choose your friends wisely

…….because apparently, everyone is an asshole

8. Don’t ever forget where you came from

9. And When it comes to boys….

But if you really can’t help yourself…

And when you find that special someone… 

10. Don’t be afraid to let loose every once in a while:

… and when all else fails,

Sometimes, you need something a little stronger

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Question of the Day: Who Is Your Favourite TV Mom?

So I’m Writing a Novel.

This month, I’m going to write a novel.

50,000 words. 30 days. Let’s do this.

Why? Because I’m a masochist. A really bored masochist.

Other reasons include:

• I’m perpetually dissatisfied.
• Gretchen Rubin did it in The Happiness Project.
• I have no experience writing fiction whatsoever, and I figure this is a good place to start.
• I like a challenge.
• I get to brag about it and feel superior to other people.
• Because it’s really original and no one has ever done it before.
• Because my goal of reading 52 books in one year doesn’t keep me in my house alone enough already. (I want to make really, extra sure I die alone.)

I recognize that National Novel Writing Month (or “NaNoWriMo” as the cool kids call it) is still 6 months away, but as I always say, rules were made to be broken!

…..Actually, I never say this. I really just want all the spotlight without having to share it with any of you b*tches.

Did I mention I’m also really bored?

I would tell you what my novel is going to be about, but it’s totally progressive and original and I don’t want anyone to steal my idea. Just kidding, I actually have no idea what it’s going to be about, except that it will be loosely based on my own life. And there might be a Russian spy element involved.

Not like this. Well, maybe like this.

At the suggestion of my hetero-life model Gretchen Rubin, I picked up the book “No Plot, No Problem” by Chris Baty: an ultimate “low-stress, high -velocity guide to writing a novel in 30 days”.

The book starts by providing a number of tips and tricks to help you prepare for the launch of your novel; from time-saving techniques, to research and outlines, to how to set up the perfect workspace.

Since I believe goals are best achieved when they involve no structure or planning whatsoever, I chose to do none of these things. Well, except for the part where I’m supposed to tell everyone I’m writing a novel so they will hold me accountable.

Hey everyone! I’m writing a novel! Hold me accountable, k? No, really. I expect all of you to shame me and ask me “how’s that novel coming along ?” on a regular basis.

Kind of like this:

Actually, exactly like that. And then I will rate you on your Stewie impression.

The other piece of advice I took from the book was to develop my Two “Magna Cartas”.

The first Magna Carta is a list of all the things that, to you, make a good novel. This can be anything from overall themes, to character traits, to magical unicorns. The aim of this list is to show what you “know” and appreciate as a reader, and to act as a guide for what to include in your own novel.

Here is the list I came up with:

• Humor
• Romance

I’m a girl, what can I say

• Serendipitous encounters
• Short, digestible chapters
• Quote-worthy prose
• Plot twists (doesn’t need to be M. Night Shyamalan or anything, but I like being surprised)
• Vulnerable characters
• Urban settings
• Music and/or other pop culture references
• Animals (I’ve never read a book about pandas, but I think that might be pretty cool)

Magna Carta II is just the opposite- a list of things that bore or depress you in a novel. These should be avoided in your story at all costs.

My list:

• Death
• Vampires/Unicorns/other forms of magical creatures

I blame this

• Stream of consciousness writing
• Misanthropic characters
• Overuse of a thesaurus
• Unhappy endings
• Long chapters

So basically, I should write an uplifting romantic comedy about pandas with multiple plot twists, easy words and short chapters.

Sounds like a bestseller to me!

Wish me luck!

Question of the Day: What, to you, makes a good novel?

Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking

Do you often let calls go through to voicemail? Enjoy one-on-one conversations as opposed to group activities? Dislike conflict? Prefer working alone rather than in a team? 

If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, then you my friend, are probably an introvert.

The good news is, you’re not alone. According to Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking, at least 1/3 of the people we know are introverts.

Including me.

Yes- I know it  may come as a surprise, given how hilarious, effervescent and engaging  I am on my blog- but don’t let that purple wig fool you. On the inside, I’m just a scared little panda. 

I prefer listening to talking, find it easier to express myself in writing, and to the disappointment of my throngs of friends and admirers, often prefer to stay home, read a book and be by myself on a Saturday night.

Cain’s book explores the idea that in today’s society, introverts are chronically undervalued. By praising extroversion above almost all else, we fail to capitalize on the special and unique skills introverts possess, like focus, innovation, creativity, work ethic, thoughtfulness, and observation. 

Cain explains how over the past 100 years, Western culture has become obsessed with the idea of personality. “The Extrovert Ideal” now permeates almost everything we do: from offices designed in open concepts to inspire “Groupthink” and “brainstorming sessions”, to classrooms arranged in “pods”,  to the success of such books as “How to Win Friends and Influence People” .

If only all open concept offices had Don Draper in them.

Introversion has become a form of pathology – a personality trait that needs to be “fixed”. We encourage children who are introverted to “come out of their shells”, rather than focusing on what they can bring to the table. Cain points to evidence that our “extrovert ideal” can actually be harmful in business, and lobbies for change.

I decided to read this book after a friend showed me Cain’s 2012 TED Talk on the same subject. It received over 4 million YouTube hits and helped start what is now known as “The Quiet Revolution”.

The book is exhaustively researched: Cain spent almost 7 years wading through literature and scientific studies, as well as conducting her own “field research”. She went to a Tony Robbins leadership conference, spent a week at Harvard Business School, shadowed Asian American high school students, interviewed psychologists and prominent business people, attended a retreat for the highly sensitive and observed an Evangelical Christian leadership conference. 

I found this book fascinating, and it really resonated with me on a lot of levels. Before becoming a writer, Cain was a corporate lawyer on Wall Street, and discusses the difficulty of being an introvert in a profession dominated by big personalities. As a young lawyer, I can relate. I am constantly attending business development and networking seminars where we are encouraged to hand out business cards like Halloween candy.

“Follow up with everyone you meet!” they say. “Introduce yourself to the Managing partner in the elevator!”. As an introvert, this can feel overwhelming. You worry you will be left behind by all of your gregarious, outgoing contemporaries who fluently speak the language of schmooze.

Cain, however, explains how she put her skills as an introvert to work for her. By being the most prepared person in the room and using her skills of listening and observation, she became a highly successful negotiator, eventually founding her own consulting business. 

Another point Cain explored that I found interesting was the “internet paradox”: introverts are much more likely to express intimate details about themselves on the internet, to total strangers- often things their friends or family would be surprised to learn about them. 

This definitely rings true with me. As cheesy as it is to say, I feel like when I started blogging, I found my voice. It was like suddenly, my personality was more tangible to those around me. I felt understood. 

This is overly dramatic but you catch my drift.

You should definitely read this book if you are an introvert, or have introverts in your life. (if you’re curious whether you are an introvert, you can take Cain’s quiz here) .I will say, the book can be a little heavy on the scientific mumbo jumbo- so if you don’t want to deal with all that independent/dependent variable noise, then you can always just watch the TED Talk instead.

I give it: 4.2/5 Intellectual Dachshunds 

“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

Question of the Day: Are You An Introvert, or an Extrovert?

You Googled What?? (The Sequel)

Between all the talk about self-doubt, fate and serendipity, plus my novice literary critiques, I feel like things have been getting a little heavy around here lately.

Intellectual Dachshund says: Who you calling”heavy”? Last time I checked, I’m not the one who hasn’t been to the gym in a week .

Ahem. I said we’ll talk about this later.

Anyway, today, I’m going to lighten the mood a little by resurrecting a feature I like to call: “You Googled What??”-  a collection of the most ridiculous, obscene,and sometimes just plain sad search terms people have used to find my blog.  (If you missed the first installment, you can find it here.)  Below are just a few of my favorites- along with some color commentary.

“epi-pen party”

Um. Is this a thing? Because, like, not to be a Debbie Downer or anything, but it sounds kind of dangerous. You should probably have a doctor on hand. And everyone’s up-to-date emergency contact information.

Safety first!

Other than that, have fun you crazy kids!

“Hanging with Mr. Cooper”

Boy, this one brought me back. Who didn’t love this mid-90′s TV gem about a charismatic retired NBA player turned substitute teacher who moves in with his two gorgeous female friends? Think Three’s Company, but with an urban twist.

Not only was Hangin with Mr. Cooper quality TV programming on its own, it also had the privilege of being included in potentially the best TGIF lineup ever (IMO): featuring Family Matters, Boy Meets World and Step by Step.

There are too many wonderful things in this pic to count.

I was curious what ever happened to Mark Curry (aka Mr. Cooper), so I did a little Googling. Apparently, he is now on the Nick-at-Nite family show See Dad Run with Scott Baio (!!) and does stand up comedy on the side. He also got burned pretty badly a few years back after a can of aerosol spray exploded in his house, and he contemplated suicide for a while, until he talked to Sinbad (!!!) and decided that life really was worth living after all.

I honestly can’t even make this sh*t up.

“small town guy just trying to fit in”

Call Me.

Especially if you look like this.

“home alone bird lady”

Sin, guys. ……………I mean, I know I kind of look like her, but really.

“why would someone steal my hairbrush”

OMG you too??? WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US

“Am I meant to be alone forever?”

While I unfortunately do not have a crystal ball, I can give you this handy little quiz to help you answer that one:

1)     Do you have a cat?

2)     How many?

3)     Is your PVR more than 80% filled with episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and/or Real Housewives?

4)     Do you collect human hair?

5)      Do you refer to the side of the bed you don’t sleep on as “the storage side” ?

If you answered yes to 87% or more of these questions, then I’m sorry to tell you that yes, you are a card-carrying member of the Forever Single Club. But never fear! In the words of the King Of Pop:

“best diorama ever”

Finding the “best diorama ever” is an incredibly noble pursuit. That’s why I thought I would help by identifying a few suggestions: 

….. also, apparently marshmallow peep dioramas are a thing:

…. and my ultimate winner:

“I want to make an artificial jungle to submit in my school for an exhibition”

……you should totally do that. And then send photos. Actually, live footage would be preferable.

“camel on America’s next top model All Stars”

Um. Is this true?? Because that would be AWESOME. I bet that Camel could show those skinny b*tches a thing or two about posing.

My humps.. my lovely lady lumps

“is being a quirky girl a good thing?”

My heart breaks for the poor, insecure girl who searched this. Mostly because it was probably me.

“indie love mixtape”

Yes, please.

“what to do if kids happen to see their Christmas gifts on Christmas eve and ruin the surprise”

…Give up now because you are obviously the worst mother ever and nothing in your kid’s life will ever be the same again. Way to ruin everything, mom.

“how to identify leftover yarn”

Like, are we talking from a pile of other non-yarn related items? Or from a pile of other pieces of yarn, some of which new, some of which “leftover”? …. Either way… you should probably just ask your mom.

Question of the Day: What is the weirdest Google search term you’ve Had lately?

Overcoming Self-Doubt – Without the Golden Globe

I’m really into Podcasts lately. They’re kind of my new thing.

I’ve been listening to This American Life or NPR on my way to work in the mornings, and it has completely revolutionized my entire subway experience. Sure, I look a little crazy laughing to myself in the middle of a jam-packed train,  but I try not to let the awkward stares get me down.

Anyway, in my quest to expand my Podcast horizons, I recently stumbled across one called “I Should Be Writing” for wannabe fiction writers. It’s hosted by writer Mur Lafferty, and every week focuses on a different topic relating to writing. A lot of them don’t apply to me, since I’m really more of a corporate droid than an aspiring novelist, but the topic she spoke about the other day was one I could definitely relate to: Self-esteem… or lack thereof. 

During the podcast, Lafferty remarked that she never checks her stats or followers online, because she has low self-esteem and that noise would drive her completely batsh*t cray-cray. She’d end up obsessively checking how many people subscribed to each podcast and overanalyzing every lost twitter follower.

At the same time, however, she acknowledged that you can’t hide from criticism forever. The bigger you get, the more you’re going to be talked about- and not always in a good way.”Go and check Amazon.” she said, “Even Shakespeare has bad reviews”.

The key is not to let this completely destroy your self-esteem and paralyze you from continuing to write. You have to take in what’s constructive, tune out what’s not, and keep on writing.

Incidentally, later that day I also read the chapter in my book, The Happiness Project where author Gretchen Rubin decides to start her own blog.

She almost talked her self out of it on numerous occasions due to self-doubt and insecurity, but in the end, she promised herself she would always “Be Gretchen”. Of course, it went on to become one of the most popular blogs on the internet.

Not to be cliché, but I sort of feel like these two ladies came into my life at exactly the right moment. You may have noticed (psych, no one besides Ben noticed) my rather long blogging hiatus back in February. While I would like to say this was as a result of work stress, crazy partying, or being abducted by sex aliens named Ryan Gosling, the truth is, it wasn’t.

I was sitting on my couch, reading my books and watching Real Housewives, stroking my self-doubt like the kitten I don’t have.

Me

I had plenty of time and opportunity to write; but for some reason, I just couldn’t.

I worried that everything I wanted to say was irrelevant, off-topic; unfunny, or uninteresting. Were people getting tired of my book reviews? Should I be posting more about my personal life? Less about personal life? More pictures of animals doing people things? (BTW, the answer to that question is always yes)

I lost count of how many things I posted on twitter and instagram and then immediately deleted. Why would anyone care about my lamentations on oatmeal and elevators? Or that pic of the three foot chocolate egg at my grocery store I thought was hilarious:

I mean.. it is kind of hilarious

 Unfortunately, unlike Anne Hathaway, I don’t have a Golden Globe to perpetually guard against self-doubt.

I”ve tried snuggling my Liebster blog award at night, but it’s just not the same. It feels all angular. And German.

So I let that shame and insecurity win. I let it travel all the way down to the tips of my fingers and paralyze them.

I was a sad blogger.

But I’ve decided that enough is enough. Bluntly put,  I need to just give less of a f*ck. I need to write more, more often, and care less about what people think. Otherwise, I’ll never fulfill my dreams of becoming Seth Meyers/David Sedaris/Mindy Kaling/Lena Dunham/Carl Kasell. (Ok, that last one isn’t even a writer.. I just love his voice SO DAMN MUCH).

Lena Dunham doesn’t G.A.F. how many people see her peeing, having sex, or wearing mesh shirts with no bra on TV, and look where it’s gotten her!

(Don’t worry guys, I won’t go that far).

I’ve come to realize that there is nothing less funny or engaging than a writer who is self-conscious. It’s time to start throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks. It may not all work, but maybe some of it will. Some of my most successful posts have been ones I had no idea people would like, so who knows.

Anyway, I know you’re probably thinking, “Homegirl really needs to learn the difference between “blog” and “journal” right now” … but you know what, I don’t care. Im’ma just Be BreezyK. And you all should be You, too. Every weird, last one of you.

Question of the Day: How do you deal with self-doubt?

Is your writing primarily influenced by your audience, or what you want to write?

Always Remember That You Are Unique. Just Like Everybody Else.

You guys, I have to begin with a piece of breaking news: SOMEONE RETURNED MY HAIRBRUSH!!!

The lovely cleaning lady at the gym took pity on me when I told her my harrowing tale of loss and sorrow, and directed me to a second location where they sometimes keep lost items. Lo and behold, there was my brush! AND my facewash!

My faith in humanity has been restored. Note, however, that the other two brushes remain outstanding.  This means that the probability of a BreezyK hair doll existing continues to be high.

Now onto item of business #2: Both Ross Murray and Twin Daddy gifted me with the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

Ross is the hilarious and insightful blogger behind Drinking Tips for Teens, and, more importantly  a fellow Nova Scotian. Holla!

And of course, many of you know TwinDaddy of StuphBlog fame from his mysterious StormTrooper Avatar, faithful commenting and UnShitty Trademark. Now go and visit them both! (You know, after you finish reading this post.)

So the rules of the game are as follows:

• link back the person who nominated you (done),
• state 7 facts about yourself, and
• nominate 7 other bloggers for the award.

Wow, this is going to be so different from all my other posts! I never write about myself! (Just kidding, that’s all I do.)

Here goes:

1. I regularly walk into Godiva with no intention of buying anything. I just linger there long enough to get a free sample, then leave.

2. I went snowshoeing last weekend for the first time ever.

I’m not gonna lie, I kind of expected my snowshoes to look different.

Exhibit A: What I thought my snowshoes would look like:

 

Exhibit B: What my snowshoes actually looked like:

Oh well, it was still a lot of fun, and a surprisingly good workout. Here’s a pic of me and my friends, just killing it:

3. Speaking of killing it, remember my New Year’s resolution to read 52 books in 2013?

Well, I am pleased to report that I’m on book #5 so far this month. That’s right, fools. I eat pieces of literature for breakfast.

Here is the book I’m currently reading/something I hope never happens to me:

Maybe I’ll do some reviews??

4. Lately I’ve been having the urge to cut my hair like Tegan and/or Sara in the video for Closer:

I won’t do it though, because I fear it might be misinterpreted as a cry for help.

5.  Sometimes, when I’m running on the treadmill, I’ll just listen to the same song over and over again. Most recently, it’s been this one:

I used to think this was weird/OCD behavior, until Mindy Kaling Tweeted this:

Never stop being my soul sister, Mindy.

6. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (@breezyk1) then you already know this, but I went for a lovely 3.5 hour brunch with Karen of The Chronicles on Sunday.

Between us, we managed to consume 2 orders of eggs benedict, 7 americanos and an entire bag of donuts.

Hold your applause, please.

7. I went to a one-man show last night called Catalpa. It was at a little indie theatre in TO, and was all sorts of weird and amazing. Dude played over 20 characters himself, including a whale, a seagull and a storm. (Which, for the record, aren’t even human, so….) It’s playing until Saturday so, if you’re in the area, check it out!

Now, to nominate 7 other bloggers:

Lily – My long-legged Canadian homegirl who is also CRAFTY. Jealouss

Karen – As I’ve said before, passing on all blogging awards to her was a condition of our marriage contract.

Katie- She’s sassy and balderdashy. Is that an adjective? I just made it one.

Tori Nelson- Because she is a haute mess. And really, really funny.

Cowboys and Crossbones- Cause she loves cocktails, fashion and nail art just as much as I do.

New York Cliche- A new favorite of mine- I’m mostly jealous of her big apple life.

Cafe – My fellow Torontonian with a MAD set of pipes.

Also, the lovely and talented Sarah of Diary of a House Elf bestowed upon me the Wonderful Team Membership Reader Award.

Since I’m all tapped out of interesting facts, I”ll just skip straight to the 14 9 nominees. (14 is way higher than I can count).

Because I’m lazy they’re awesome, I’m also giving this one to the 7 b*tches above. And for the sake of equality (and the continuation of our blogging species) I’ll throw a couple guys into the mix:

• Our Life in 3D- he’s giving away candy canes and old Halloween treats! Seriously.
• Ben – because he really needs a reason not to be bitter.

Go check them out! Just don’t be disappointed when they aren’t as good as I am. Just kidding I’m not kidding.

Question of the Day: Have you ever been snowshoeing?

I swear that’s how you spell it.

Nothing Says Love Like A Mixtape (Giveaway!)

Around this time of year, I start to get a little sentimental. I think about my family, my friends, my Starbucks barista, my Thai delivery guy, and everyone else who makes this sad, lonely existence a little bit more bearable every day.

Oh, and of course, all of you! Blogging keeps me (at least somewhat) happy and sane, and I love having readers like you guys who accept the challenge of wading through my mindless drivel every day. (I recognize this may be just a manifestation of your own self-loathing. I’ll still take it.) Reading your comments and all of your own hilarious posts keep me inspired on a daily basis, and for that I’d like to say thank you.

……………With a mixtape!!

For those of you who have been following lately, you will be pleased to know that after much annoying posting about it research and consideration, the track list for Breezyk’s 2012 Year In Review Mixtape has officially been finalized!

My inaugural year in review mixtape features 16 of my favourite tracks from albums that debuted in 2012, and is a solid mix of indie, pop, hip-hop and other cool hipster genres that you’ve probably never heard of. (See some example tracks here, here and here)

It was tough work cutting it down to 16 tracks though. There might be a B-Side. Stay tuned.

Anyway, I am giving away 5 of these puppies to you lucky readers! (I realize it’s sort of presumptuous to think that 5 of you would even want it.. but let’s just play along shall, we?  I was up until 2:00 a.m. making this thing)

If you want to enter, leave a comment below telling me what you want for Christmas. Bonus entries are available if you follow the Camel Life on Facebook (see the sidebar) or on Twitter @thecamellife.  Tis the season of shameless blog promotion!

I will pick 5 lucky winners at random who will be mailed a copy of my mixtape, along with a hand-written, non-denominational, environmentally conscious, fiscally responsible, gluten-free Holiday card. And maybe even a gender-neutral Easy Bake Oven. We’ll see.

Contest Remains open until Friday, December 21, 2012 at 5:00p.m. Eastern Time. Good luck!

Question of the Day: What do you want for Christmas?  

(or, if you don’t celebrate Christmas – what’s one thing you’re currently coveting?)

And just as a teaser, here’s track #4 for your listening pleasure:

Don’t Look Ahead There’s Stormy Weather

So I know I promised you all stories about my trip to New York, but I have to admit that for the past week and a half, I have been experiencing a moderate to severe case of writer’s block.

My writing teacher used to say that writer’s block isn’t a real thing; it’s just a manifestation of one’s fear and anxiety. Well, I kind of wanted to punch him in the face every time he said that, because sometimes it is a real thing. Sometimes you really just can’t think of anything to say. And other times, you’d just rather lay on your couch watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and identifying all the places you’ve been while eating questionably  old Kernels Popcorn.. and that’s ok.

Met her

So although I haven’t been blogging, I have been channeling my creative energy in other ways. Like obsessively planning all of my Holiday outfits. And working on my inaugural ”BreezyK Year in Review” Mixtape.

What’s that? You want to hear the first track? K:

Now, don’t go getting any ideas about how cool I am, because the other 16 tracks are probably all going to be Nicki Minaj and  One Direction.

Kidding. I’m not kidding.

Speaking of One Direction, can we talk about T-Swift and Harry Styles for a minute?

I have to admit, that for a 27-year-old woman, I am unreasonably jealous about this. I mean, just look at how skinny these jeans are:

He obviously belongs with me. Harry, don’t you know that Taylor’s skinny ass is just going to dump you in 4-6 weeks and then write another drony album about it? I would never, ever, do you like that.

In other news, I’m also in a funk because I haven’t been running lately. I developed a bad case of plantar fasciitis or some sh*t (or at least that’s what my Doctor,WebMD, tells me) from walking catwalks around New York last week in inappropriate footwear.

So in order to maintain my perfect physique, I’ve been forced to use the elliptical. Guys, let me tell you. I thought there was nothing worse than the treadmill, but THERE IS. Sh*t is SO. BORING! Plus, it makes me feel like the female incarnation of Tony Little whenever I am on it… minus the glorious hair.

It  basically makes me want to strangle myself with my iPod headphones. But instead, I just focus on Rachel Ray cooking things that would obviously take way longer than 30 minutes in real life. Why do they play cooking shows at the gym by the way? It seems a bit of a perverse incentive, no?

And I guess I shouldn’t say I haven’t been writing at all. I have been working on a children’s story about a clumsy Zebra named Patrick. It isn’t very good.

Anyway, that’s all I got for ya. I swear I’m brewing something good soon. Keep the faith guys. I’m going to stop talking now.

Question of the Day: Do you work out at the gym? Are you a treadmill/elliptical type of person?