Humour / Life / Shopping / Television / Uncategorized

You Had Me At “Showstopper”

I bought something from The Shopping Channel the other day. I’m not proud of it. 

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Actually, f*&k that, I’m totally proud. It was a sweet-ass deal.

The incident occurred during a very frequent rare night in. I was sipping my Night Wine and flipping between “Guiliana and Bill” and “Dancing With The Stars” when something glittery and gold caught my eye.

Behold- the “So Status” watch and bracelet set –

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The newest piece by R.J. Graziano- jewellery designer TO THE STARS (uhhhh like MEL B., people), this gold (plated) multi-piece set was on for the “Showstopping” price of only $69.99! That’s almost 50% off regular price! Obviously I needed this pre-packaged elegance in my life.

I’ll admit, I was a little nervous about buying a “luxury” item from a TV infomercial, but I told myself that if it was good enough for Scary Spice, then it was good enough for me.

shop3 I quickly logged online, created a profile and after agreeing to just 3 easy payments of $23.33 (interest free maaaahf*ckas!) my instant glamour was on its way. 

As I waited for my package to arrive, I started receiving daily e-mails from The Shopping Channel featuring the day’s “Showstopper” deal. The products piqued my interest, if only because they were so incredibly random.

There was a Wolfgang Puck cookware set:

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Egyptian cotton sheets: 

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One VERY special Joan Rivers Collection Houndstooth Signature Blazer

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* Available in FOUR DIFFERENT SHADES OF HOUNDSTOOTH!

…. and if Old Lady Chic isnn’t your thing, what about these luxurious drapes? (With Beaded tiebacks!!!)

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…. or how about this thermal back pain pack?

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Oh, and don’t forget the fur-trimmed Mukluks!!

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I started questioning  just what target demographic The Shopping Channel was trying to achieve here. A glamorous Octogenarian housewife with a penchant for entertaining, chronic back pain, and a love of comfortable/yet stylish footwear? Sounded about right. 

Anyway, despite their complete and total irrelevance to my life, I found myself actually considering buying each day’s Showstopper because it was such an “amazing deal”. Didn’t I need new sheets anyway? And I’d been meaning to get into cooking ……Who cares if I have no outfits that go with fur-trimmed Mukluks? At this price, I could afford to buy more!

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Needless to say, my virtual shopping cart continues to pile up at an alarming rate, and I’m beginning to feel the weight of all of those compounded “easy” payments. Clearly there is some sort of void deep down inside me that I’m trying to fill with material things, but in my own delusional way, I completely blame The Shopping Channel and their genius marketing for all of this. I mean, guys.. these deals are for a LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! 

I know an easy solution would be simply to unsubscribe from the newsletter, but I can’t help but feel FOMO that I’m passing up on the next really sweet deal. At some point, I’m probably going to need a shop-tervention- but in the meantime, I’ll just be rocking my Houndstooth blazer, sleeping on Egyptian Cotton and feeling up my fancy-ass drapes in the corner. 

Question of the Day: Have you Ever

bought anything from TV?

How did it turn out? 

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21 thoughts on “You Had Me At “Showstopper”

  1. I’m the late night don’t watch that show while drinking or else, yep sorry dear I ordered a samurai sword from the tv last night guy. The items are NEVER as I hope they’ll be. We did buy a Dyson vacuum a few months ago, and the wife says it’s fine but I think it’s too small. Whatever.

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  2. There used to be a store in the Eaton Centre called “As Seen on TV” which sold products from infomercials. While I never bought anything from there, my brother, in a misguided effort to save money, bought a “Flo-by”. This was part scissors part vacuum cleaner that you used to cut hair without leaving a mess (in theory). Think “Suck and Cut” from Wayne’s World. In practice it just resulted in a very unflattering haircut for Pat. It was funny to watch his then girlfriend try to use it on him though.

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  3. No, never gave into that impulse to buy. I just don’t think their products are going to stack up. Now if I saw George Bleuth and Richard Simmons selling the Cornballer? Then I would have to buy. You have made me want to watch some new Arrested Development. I haven’t had time to watch all the new episodes yet, but now I must. Thanks!! :-)
    As for shopping online, seriously, if you need it or want it and can afford it then do it. If you don’t really need it, or want it or can’t afford it don’t buy it!!! I know, I am no fun. I get told that a lot. :-)

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      • Quickly the new season of Arrested Development which I haven’t finished watching yet because Netflix is distracting to me, other things get in the way. Some is funny, but I do not like the fall of Michael, to living with George Michael? A bit weird, but I am hoping it is the buildup to a renaissance for him. They have done a good job of including old characters from the past, I hope it picks up. Now I have to find time to watch these, so I can find out what happens. :-) Bottom line as a cast they still make me laugh. So that is a good thing!!

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  4. I actually bought the Orgreenic pan that promised that I wouldn’t need oil or butter or Pam and nothing would ever stick to it because it was made of some bark that always repelled stuff. It worked so great, until the second time I used it.

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      • No I didn’t send it back because I am one of those people that complain about things but never actually do anything about it.

        I think it was before I was a bitter blogger, but I do reviews of things from time to time, that would actually be a good idea for something to review.

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  5. I’ve bought comics (natch!) from The Shopping Channel in the past, but they rarely feature them any more. Its just as well; I need my cash for trivial expenses like food and mortgage payments….

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  6. I read my blogs on an RSS feeder and I don’t bother reading the ‘source’ field, I just plough in. I saw Mel B and knew this was your blog. I have hundreds on there. Mel B is your BRAND.

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  7. Pingback: Fancy A Spot of Tea? | The Camel Life

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