Between all the talk about self-doubt, fate and serendipity, plus my novice literary critiques, I feel like things have been getting a little heavy around here lately.
Intellectual Dachshund says: Who you calling”heavy”? Last time I checked, I’m not the one who hasn’t been to the gym in a week .
Ahem. I said we’ll talk about this later.
Anyway, today, I’m going to lighten the mood a little by resurrecting a feature I like to call: “You Googled What??”- a collection of the most ridiculous, obscene,and sometimes just plain sad search terms people have used to find my blog. (If you missed the first installment, you can find it here.) Below are just a few of my favorites- along with some color commentary.
“epi-pen party”
Um. Is this a thing? Because, like, not to be a Debbie Downer or anything, but it sounds kind of dangerous. You should probably have a doctor on hand. And everyone’s up-to-date emergency contact information.
Safety first!
Other than that, have fun you crazy kids!
“Hanging with Mr. Cooper”
Boy, this one brought me back. Who didn’t love this mid-90′s TV gem about a charismatic retired NBA player turned substitute teacher who moves in with his two gorgeous female friends? Think Three’s Company, but with an urban twist.
Not only was Hangin with Mr. Cooper quality TV programming on its own, it also had the privilege of being included in potentially the best TGIF lineup ever (IMO): featuring Family Matters, Boy Meets World and Step by Step.
There are too many wonderful things in this pic to count.
I was curious what ever happened to Mark Curry (aka Mr. Cooper), so I did a little Googling. Apparently, he is now on the Nick-at-Nite family show See Dad Run with Scott Baio (!!) and does stand up comedy on the side. He also got burned pretty badly a few years back after a can of aerosol spray exploded in his house, and he contemplated suicide for a while, until he talked to Sinbad (!!!) and decided that life really was worth living after all.
I honestly can’t even make this sh*t up.
“small town guy just trying to fit in”
Call Me.
Especially if you look like this.
“home alone bird lady”
Sin, guys. ……………I mean, I know I kind of look like her, but really.
“why would someone steal my hairbrush”
OMG you too??? WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US
“Am I meant to be alone forever?”
While I unfortunately do not have a crystal ball, I can give you this handy little quiz to help you answer that one:
1) Do you have a cat?
2) How many?
3) Is your PVR more than 80% filled with episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and/or Real Housewives?
4) Do you collect human hair?
5) Do you refer to the side of the bed you don’t sleep on as “the storage side” ?
If you answered yes to 87% or more of these questions, then I’m sorry to tell you that yes, you are a card-carrying member of the Forever Single Club. But never fear! In the words of the King Of Pop:
“best diorama ever”
Finding the “best diorama ever” is an incredibly noble pursuit. That’s why I thought I would help by identifying a few suggestions: 
….. also, apparently marshmallow peep dioramas are a thing:
…. and my ultimate winner:
“I want to make an artificial jungle to submit in my school for an exhibition”
……you should totally do that. And then send photos. Actually, live footage would be preferable.
“camel on America’s next top model All Stars”
Um. Is this true?? Because that would be AWESOME. I bet that Camel could show those skinny b*tches a thing or two about posing.
My humps.. my lovely lady lumps
“is being a quirky girl a good thing?”
My heart breaks for the poor, insecure girl who searched this. Mostly because it was probably me.
“indie love mixtape”
Yes, please.
“what to do if kids happen to see their Christmas gifts on Christmas eve and ruin the surprise”
…Give up now because you are obviously the worst mother ever and nothing in your kid’s life will ever be the same again. Way to ruin everything, mom.
“how to identify leftover yarn”
Like, are we talking from a pile of other non-yarn related items? Or from a pile of other pieces of yarn, some of which new, some of which “leftover”? …. Either way… you should probably just ask your mom.
Ha, I guess I never paid any attention to this on my blog before. I just looked and saw that the following were among many: “dad’s hot poop” “can you swallow astroglide” and Spring break 2013 thong”. Awesomeness!
haha gross! but also awesome!
I may have been the one that did “best diorama ever”. I just wanted to win my local contest. Is that so wrong?
What was your winning diorama a replica of? (Because I’m assuming you did win)
Canada. All of it.
Epi pen party? My dirty secret is out…
Throw a sista an invite next time, will ya?
Probably my favorite one is “if the banks were as fiercely regulated as the mcdonalds breakfast cutoff time the world would be a better place”. I laughed and heartily agreed.
Um…epi pen party does not sound fun. I have a friend who (rather stupidly) put his finger over the top of an epipen and of course, it went straight through his thumb. *facepalm* i could see a lot of this happening at a party of them. Although, I wonder if they meant to say “epic pen party,” which is a little better.
I heartily agree too! I think most things would benefit from that kind of strictness
I would also be interested in attending an “epic pen party”. I wonder if it would be centered around just one really epic pen, or like an abundance of pens.. so many of which it could reasonably be described as “epic”
I forgot that Mr. Cooper was part of TGIF. But I did enjoy the show.
I remember wanting to BE Raven Simone in that show
Haha! You crack me up, Breezy.
Thanks, but it’s really the crazy googlers who made this all possible
Um, I just took your “Single Forever” Quiz. Looks like I’m doomed!!! But wait, I’m not alone! I have my cat and that damn MJ song.
Great post!
You’re damn right girl, I’m right there with you
Hanging with Mr Cooper! I forgot all about that programme. For a while someone would Google variations of my name, my blog name and travel sickness, every single day. themissadventurejournals AND vomiting AND on a boat. So weird
Hangin with Mr. Cooper was the best!! I’m sorry googlers associated your name with vomit. That’s naaat cool
Tell that weiner dog that smoking will stunt his growth.
I’d tell you about the funny search terms, but either I don’t know how to go abourt finding mine or I found them, and they’re just not funny.
Right???
They are in your stats tab! But then again, maybe you’re better off not checking….
“fetish holidays” “smurfette diary” “andy williams thoughts on religion” “why are you selfish quotes” “italian fetish photos” – to name a few… Actually, I get ALOT of “fetish” people. Maybe I should re-name my Photo Fetish Fridays… Anyway, gotta run. I need to take a shower, I feel dirty all of a sudden! Great post as always!
Ummm I really want to read Smurfette’s diary. I bet girlfriend would have some interesting ish to say.
Everyone has really funny and colorful search terms and mine are always “YMCA” and “Canada”. Doesn’t get more boring than that!
I do like that Peep in The Scream. So realistic.
That’s awesome because Googlers obviously perceive you as a really fit Canadian.
Damn you Lily
Two things, 1) thank you for making a sequel and 2) thank you for including a picture of Perfect Strangers in that montage. I have fond memories of watching that show when I was probably too young to understand it all but that’s all that was on because we didn’t have cable.
umm believe me, the pleasure was all mine. Balky (sp) and Larry Appleton are my jam.
Oh wow this is absolutely brilliant!! What kind of people are out there googling all these weird things?? *begins asking google a random question*. I have had “my daughter in a summer skirt” (mum that wont work in google), “mexican kitty fringe” (what??) and “huns head target” – not related AT ALL to my blog! I will have to regularly check these now for endless sources of humour. Ahh people are funny… x
ahaha “mexican kitty fringe” = amazing. It really helps to know I’m not the only crazy out there
Aww I don’t have any awesome search terms, just about juice cleansing and magic nursery babies, but there was this gem amongst them – how remadey for belle ioose – ummm, whats that now?
Ps how good was 90′s television?!
magic nursery babies??? Um that’s pretty awesome. What do you think their magic powers are? Cuteness? MAYBE THEY READ MINDS
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“Kayden Kross porn pics” shows up a lot in my Google search box for some reason….
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