I’m a sucker for a good Friends re-run. Anytime I hear an episode playing, or catch a glimpse of it on TV, I automatically feel compelled to watch it.
It’s like I’m being pulled by some sort of centrifugal force. Kind of like how Kramer felt about Mary Hart…. only exactly the opposite.
Anyway, the other day I found myself watching an episode; and as the iconic theme song filled the room, and my heart with nostalgia, I got to thinking about The Rembrandts.
Remember them? They had a massive hit back in 1995 with the mind-numbingly awful yet unbelievably catchy ”I’ll Be There For You” , but what have they done since?
A quick Google search informed me that The Rembrandts (otherwise known as Phil Solem and Danny Wilde) had one other hit: the emo slow jam “That’s Just the Way it is (Baby”). Apparently, however, the stress of 2 hit songs was too much for them, and they split up shortly thereafter. Solem wanted to concentrate on his own band Thrush, while Wilde released his own solo album.
Both of these solo efforts met with about as much success as David Schwimmer’s movie career:
So they eventually got back together in 2000, and have since released about 17 greatest hit(s?) albums. They also write and produce music for other really current and relevant bands, like The Gin Blossoms. Other than that, I think they’re probably just busy hot oiling their hair, wearing round sunglasses, and cashing in on all their Friends royalties.
Incidentally, that episode also guest-starred Jennifer Grey as Barry’s fiance, Mindy. Obviously I needed a little refresher on what Baby was up to as well.
Well, apparently that nose job wasn’t so “career ending” after all because home girl won Dancing with the Stars in 2010 and is now starring in lifetime movies! Holla!
All of this got me thinking back to some other forgotten
has-beens celebrities from my past.. like:
Canadian ladies of my vintage will undoubtedly remember the hot mess of seashell necklaces, spiky hair and sub-par vocals that was B4-4.
The band, which consisted of Toronto twins Ryan and Dan Kowarsky and their friend Ohad Einbinder, hit it big in 2000 with their single “Get Down”:
WARNING: This video contains scenes some viewers might find disturbing. Like Orange and yellow parachute pants.. and Mank Tops.
I never heard much of them after this, but Wikipedia tells me that they went on to become a giant hit in Germany.
David Hasselhoff and B4-4? Germany, I may never understand you.
They also used their fledgling celebrity status for a good cause by promoting an anti-
frosted tips Smoking Campaign for the European Union alongside Moby.
The band broke up shortly thereafter, and Ryan and Dan decided to branch out on their own and form the inventively named pop/opera duo “RyanDan” .
I just can’t even.
According to the RyanDan website, they are releasing a new album soon. Get ready ladies!!
And as for Also-ran (I mean, Ohad Einbinder), apparently he works in music production now and developed a pair of headphones that transform into a boombox. Watch out for the film adaptation in 2014 starring Shia Labeouf.
The Australian sensation had a giant hit here in North America in 1997 with her song “Torn”, which I was legitimately obsessed with back in grade 6.
I made an entire mixtape of it just this song, and listened to it so much that my mom and dad tried to impose a two-times-a-day limit. I also got my hair cut just like hers; failing to consider that the effect might be slightly different on a prepubescent, mildly overweight 12-year-old than on an Australian pop star.
Once I had my haircut, I would put on my matching grey hoodie and Chinese print tee, set my mixtape to “play” and lip sync in front of the mirror for hours. I had all the moves from the video down pat.. which mostly involved flailing my arms around and looking distressed.
This was not a proud time in my life.
So what has she been up to since? Well, apparently she was a judge on Australian X-factor and was married to Daniel Johns from Silverchair, but is now divorced. Currently, she is an unsigned artist.
I also stumbled across her Instagram the other day, which didn’t tell me much, except that she has long hair now, and really likes Koala Krisp:
Damn, that b*tch looks good in anything. Off to buy my own box of cereal and mimic this pose.