Humour / Life

In 2013, I Resolve to Wear Pants.

Are you guys ready? Because I’m about to shock you to your cores by being the first person in the history of all time to blog about  their New Year’s Resolutions on January 1st.

2013

Be more original” obviously isn’t on the list.  “Write fewer run-on sentences” probably should be.

Anyway, I’m writing this while also half-watching The Campaign, and I need to get back to gawking at Dylan McDermott’s ageless beauty, so let’s just get on with it:

BreezyK’s Really Important, Really Specific 2013 New Year’s Resolutions

1) Get something published. Somewhere.

I think it’s a good idea to always make your goals as vague and unmeasurable as possible. That way, when you don’t achieve them, it’s not your fault. It’s the GOAL’s fault.

nye

2) Eat something other than cereal for dinner sometimes.

Maybe I’ll start with oatmeal. It’s still in the breakfast family, and I can’t handle too much change too quickly.

cereal3

3) Actually get dressed when I leave the house.

No more of this worn-out leggings and soccer shirt with the holes in it I stole from my brother business. Grown-ass women don’t dress like that when they go to the grocery store… and neither should I.

In order to classify as “pants”, all articles of clothing must now contain at least one zipper and/or button.

leggingsnot

This one’s gonna be tough.

4) Find that shallow b*tch who keeps stealing my credit card and tell her that clothes and makeup don’t buy happiness.

I honestly feel so bad for some people.

5) Read some of those books I keep buying all the time.

Maybe 52 of them. One a week. That sounds like a good number.

I give this one about 28 seconds.

I give this one about 28 seconds.

6)  Insert cursory health/fitness goal here.

I know I should be thinking about something of this nature, but right now all I can focus on is my man Bobby Donnell and the bag of discounted holiday chocolate sitting right here in front of me. So I’m going to go eat this 49 cent Reese Tree now and think about #6 tomorrow.

Question of the Day: What are your New Year’s Resolutions?

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42 thoughts on “In 2013, I Resolve to Wear Pants.

  1. Be more honest aka be meaner. Publish something yourself, even if for free. I put out a free book and I had almost 50 people “buy” it in the first day. Or put stuff on Amazon for a buck. People will actually buy it.

    Good luck to you this year.

    Like

    • You’re right. The part about publishing I neglect to mention is that it involves actually writing something worth publishing. This is where I am really struggling at the moment.

      Like

  2. I just noticed your tweet to that Dylan person, it’s rather amusing. I’m sure he’ll like it as well.

    Nowt wrong with cereal in the evening; it’s the breakfast of champions.

    My NY resolution is to lose my Xmas belly faster in 2013, than I did in 2012.

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    • I hope it inspires him to take me to his fountain of eternal youth. I just watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower which also has him in it.. so I think he officially owes me now for keeping him relevant.
      Good luck with the belly blasting!

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    • Good point. I hereby change my resolution to eating cereal for dinner MORE often. And since it’s already pretty much every night, this may involve crossing over into lunch territory. I am fine with this as well.

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  3. I think my goal is to be less dramatic and be nicer. But talk about impossible goals, amirite?
    Ps. I wear leggings every day. I cannot stop.

    Also, I emailed you but it might have ended up in spam or you might just be a busy gal. Either way, I don’t want you to think that I haven’t emailed you!

    Like

    • Yes I got it! I plan to mail your CD tomorrow because I am still on Holiday time and can’t put down the chocolates long enough to get to the post office ;)
      And yes, both impossible goals. I say more drama, all the time. That’s the only way you’re going to get yourself on a reality TV show.. which we all know is the ultimate life goal

      Like

  4. You are definitely the first person I have seen to do a blog on the resolution thing. In fact, I feel bad that I didn’t think of it. I just did something original like, not a resolution blog. I do like that you are being vague so that you don’t actually have to answer for them. Except I have done this my whole life. So I commend your originallness! :) (and a happy face, so you don’t get mad at my comment!)

    Like

  5. I also have a goal to read more and surf the internet less (gasp!), wear my leggings LESS often (but not rule them out completely), be fitter/healthier/more productive (doy) and blog more often!

    ps. here’s a hot tip: The Room at The Bay has J Brands on sale right now for $100, and they feel just like you’re wearing leggings, except there is a button for added legitimacy, and no one is the wiser. Life altering.

    Like

  6. OMG, you just reminded me I have dozens of books in my Kindle reader that are still unread. I like to buy them…but read them…Amazon keeps pestering me to write reviews of them it’s been so long.

    Like

  7. I need to write fewer run-ons, too. And get dressed when I leave the house… maybe. Walgreens or Walmart doesn’t count though, so maybe I can accomplish that one.

    Like

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