Celebrities / Culture / Entertainment

The 5 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2012

With the Holiday season quickly drawing to a close and 2013 fast approaching, the internet is ablaze with “2012 year in review” posts. My favourite, of course, being the ones about annoying celebrities.

And since the 100 scotch cookies I’ve eaten over the past week have completely turned my brain to mush (that’s right, mom. I found your secret stash. muhahaha), I figured I’d weigh in with my own list of utterly unbearable celebrities in 2012.

1. Bethenny Frankel

I love hate to be gratuitously mean here, but there is just something about Bethenny Frankel’s face I really don’t like. Actually, it’s everything about her face. And her voice. And her personality.

via People.com

I feel sort of bad harping on her, since her made-for-tv marriage just broke up and everything, but I really can’t help it. She just grinds my gears. Bethenny please, for the love of God, pack up your 8 TV shows, cookbook collection and SkinnyGirl Margaritas (which are gross, by the way) and just go somewhere. Anywhere. As long as it’s not in my living room.

2. Lindsay Lohan

Oh, Lilo. It’s just a sin, really. There’s not much I can say here that hasn’t been beaten to death already..so instead I’ll just focus this portion of the post on the travesty that is her hair extensions.

stensions

I mean, really, Linds. I know you’ve been experiencing some financial difficulties as of late, but couldn’t you just pawn a stolen fur or something and get yourself some new ‘stensions? It’s the least you could do after making us sit through Liz and Dick. Plus, that nasty weave of yours sure as hell ain’t inspiring no confidence in any judges. Trust me. I know these things.

3. Rihanna & Chris Brown

If you, like me, have made the mistake of following BadgalRiRi on Twitter or Instagram, then you already know what I’m talking about. Her newsfeed, which, at the best of times, is a schizophrenic combo of ganja posts, half-naked selfies and “inspirational mantras”, has recently played host to her grade 8 style make-up/break-up/meltdown cycle with Chris Brown.

ririchrisin

Plus this whole Karreuche Tran love triangle element. RiRi seriously needs to pull a Mary J Blige, cut the drama, and stick to doing what she does best: writing killer pop songs and performing them in front of Windows Screensavers on SNL.

ririsnl

Work that screensaver, girl

4. Honey Boo Boo

Y’all know I have shockingly low standards when it comes to my reality-tv (Ex-Wives of Rock, anyone?), but even I draw the line at Honey Boo Boo.

honeyboo

Never has anything so mentally and physically repulsed me within a 30 minute time period. Except for maybe my performance on the treadmill yesterday. But let’s not talk about that.

From the gourmet ‘sketti dinners, to the Go Go Juice, to Mama June’s “forklift foot” (for the love of God, do NOT google this), I just can’t even. It’s actually shocking to me how spoiled and ill-behaved this child is. The last thing homegirl needs is a renewed contract. What she really needs is a speech pathologist.

5. Tom Cruise

This one is also kind of gratuitous, because Tom didn’t really do anything in particular to piss me off in 2012; besides get his “heart broken” spectacularly. I just kind of can’t stand him. His voice. His smile. His glibness. I mean, just look at him:

tomc

Leave the “charmingly befuddled” thing to Hugh Grant, would you Tom?

There is a Scientology building in Toronto, and whenever I pass by it I like to imagine it as a 24-hour “Tom Cruise New Wife” screening centre. I always do a quick scan of the entrances for tall, endomorph midwestern girl next-door-types. No luck yet, though. They must be hiding them well.

Phew. Ok. End rant. I feel I can enter 2013 marginally less bitter now. Marginally.

Question of the Day: What celebrities do you find the most annoying?

22 thoughts on “The 5 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2012

  1. Considering the huge amount of annoying celebrities there are to choose from, I’m amazed that you were able to narrow it down to 5. Tom Cruise deserves making the list just for accepting the role of Jack Reacher.

    I’m surprised that Dr. Phil didn’t make the cut, but categorizing him as a celebrity might be a stretch. Then again, if Bethenny Frankel qualifies, then everyone, including my proctologist Dr. Butz, should qualify as a celebrity.

    I’m looking forward to see if anyone from this year’s list makes the list two years running.

    Like

  2. Bethany Frankel ya wanted to like but …nahhh. And now she is dumping the one male that could tolerate her being in the same room for more than 2 hours. Ones missing from the list…Any and all Housewives Of…Bethany was one of the nice people there. Happy New Year Bree!

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  3. I totes agree about Bethany. What is wrong with her face? And why does she refer to herself as “Skinny Girl”? Like, even if I was super thin, I wouldn’t bring attention to it.

    Ever since Blake Lively married the love of my life, she’s been on my hit list.

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  4. I couldn’t agree more with the horrendous, disgusting fad that is Honey Boo Boo. I tried to watch the show because one of my girl friends thought I would think it was funny.. she couldn’t have been more wrong.

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