Humour / Life

Post Not-So-Secret

Have you ever heard of PostSecret? It’s a blog filled with people’s anonymous secrets that they mail in on a homemade postcard.

I love reading them. They range from people’s deepest darkest secrets, to funny/embarrassing confessions like this one:

So in the spirit of PostSecret, I thought it might be fun to do a post where I confess a few embarrassing things to you guys. Which I know is what I do in pretty much every post. This just lets me string a bunch of random thoughts together and call it an “idea.”

1. I love the TV show “The Littlest Hobo”

For those of you who aren’t familiar, The Littlest Hobo was an early 1980’s Canadian television programme about an ownerless German Shepherd (Hobo) who travelled from town to town, helping people in need. It’s basically  like Lassie North… vagrant styles.

Hobo would always save the day, and when the people he’d helped went to thank him, would have already  jumped on a seemingly always available boxcar and skipped town.

I love this show for many reasons. The supreme acting, the early 80’s hairdos, the highly original and extremely realistic plotlines. Not to mention it has perhaps the best theme song of any show ever:

They still show reruns  and I watch it all the time. I even record episodes. It’s not weird.

The other day I was the only person in the gym in my building and had complete control over the TV remote. I was flipping through the channels and was amped to find an episode of the Littlest Hobo on. I was getting really into it when another chick came into the gym and got on the treadmill beside me. She gave me this look, like “Really? Are we really watching The Littlest Hobo right now?” So I threw her back some shade with my own look that said “Yeah b*tch, that’s what’s up. And there’s nothing you can do about it, because I’M in control”.

So we watched it. And LH saved the day again. And I loved life. Then, afterwards this Cash-For-Gold infomercial came on, and I purposely didn’t change the channel out of spite.

How you like me now, biaaatch?

I might get this Littlest Hobo thing from my mom, who’s got mad love for Little House on the Prairie.

She watches it all the time but refuses to admit it. I’ll walk into the room and be like “What’s up mom? Watching Little House on the Prairie again?” and she’ll quickly change the channel and be like “No! It’s “The Doctors“. See look, they’re making a homeopathic remedy for constipation out of burdenga root!”

Now I understand. I just have far less shame, apparently.

2. My bookshelf is filled with books I’ve never read.

I’m sort of obsessed with buying books. Which I guess isn’t inherently a bad thing. You know, “Literacy” and all that. Where the problem lies, however, is in the rate at which I read these books. It by no means matches the frequency and intensity with which I purchase them.

I’ll order a bunch of books online, and then get impatient waiting for them to arrive and buy more at the bookstore. Some of them I’ll start and get bored or distracted. Others I just forget about entirely, or decide I now have no interest in.

At this point, my bookshelf is at least 1/3 filled with  books I’ve never read. And it sort of makes me feel like a fraud, because here I am advertising that I’ve read Slaughterhouse 5 when really, I’ve never read Slaughterhouse 5. I don’t even know what it’s about.  Every day I walk past my copy of Infinite Jest and feel it shaming me. All 1079 witty, yet incomprehensible pages of it.

I think I just really like the idea of the person I would be if I read all of these books. Like last year, I decided I was going to get really into “The Classics”. So I went on Amazon and ordered half of the entire Penguin collection. In my mind it was going to make me all cultured and sophisticated, and I’d read shit like Great Expectations andunderstand Gwyneth Paltrow way better.

But I soon lost interest in the dense subject matter and looking up every second word in the dictionary, and switched back to Fluffy chic lit instead. I’ve had bigger failures.

3. I read Craigslist Missed Connections Every Night

Long-time readers of my blog already know this. I’ve even written a whole post about it. I just wanted to let you all know that yes, this is still happening. And yes, it is still really sad.

Question of the Day: Do you have any confessions to share?

About these ads

25 thoughts on “Post Not-So-Secret

  1. That entire confession about The Littlest Hobo is fantastic.

    One of the reasons why I bought my own hair clippers, was so that I didn’t have to put up with the barber trying to make small talk the entire time.

  2. Two comments: First, imagine if the grammar police had had their way and called it “The Smallest Hobo.” I’m pretty sure this would have altered the course of history.

    Second, you should absolutely read Slaughterhouse 5. Honestly, you’ll breeze right through it. In fact, any Vonnegut will do. Required reading for all humanity.

    • Haha! I actually started reading slaughterhouse 5 after I wrote this part of the post because I felt so guilty and I’m almost finished. It is of course very good, but it’s causing me to have nightmares about war and aliens.. An unwelcome side effect.

      • One of the first so-called adult books I ever read was “Breakfast of Champions.” Luckily, I had been raised on Mad Magazines, so the startling surrealism wasn’t completely unsettling.

  3. I have read that book you are talking about and some of it is funny and others are really sad. Anyways, my confession is that I still like video games. A lot. And sometimes I use some of the things about games as metaphors for life. So sue me.

      • This is isn’t quite video game related but when I was younger, for a date I invited the girl to come over and watch Transformers the movie, the old animated one. When Optimus Prime dies and hands the Matrix to Rodimus, I told the girl that relates to a someone passing their leadership mantle to another. I didn’t go over well, but I still get a good laugh about how bad a date I was.

  4. My bookshelf is the same way! And I’m a total missed connections whore. Interestingly enough I actually met my boyfriend on craigslist–and he didn’t kill or rape me! (Yet.) I’ll have to tell that story at some point.

  5. Met my bf on POF,,,eeeekkss,,that’s scarey,,,he’s one of the few that is sweet, caring and supports my love of sweets when I’m totally broke (i’m still working on the wine funding).

    OMG Littlest Hobo, is a Canadian Classic, they should run that shit on all Canadian Airliines,
    My deep dark secret,,,,,I am totally in love with Albert Ingalls,,,,sigh,,,I have loved that boy for the last 30 yrs,,,sigh,,,,
    Tell your mom to back off!!

    • hahaha when my mom starts talking to me again (after that disparaging post I wrote about the Catholic Church) I will definitely let her know she’s got some serious competition.

      And you need to up your game on getting your BF to support your wine fundings. Every human needs some of the sweet nectar.. it’s a necessity of life.

  6. I really wish you would make vlogs just so I can actually hear you say “How you like me now biaaatch?” That biaatch had some major shades coming what with all a crazybitch judgyness.

    My post secret confessions are that I’m OBSESSED with Bold and the Beautiful. It’s the most incestuous drama of life and I love every minute of it. That and I too am a book whore. I did buy a few of the classics in order to get “cultured”. Couple of them are sitting primly on my bookshelf making it look pretentious and Jane Eyre is somewhere under my bed collecting mould and spider poop.

    • Amazing. You should really also start watching The Littlest Hobo too. The drama is just as intense and incestuous. Well, I don’t know about incestuous.. it is a children’s show. But you get the point.
      I bet June Cleaver cat says things like “How you like me now, Biaaatch”. I usually try to channel her at all times

  7. Pingback: How half a million secrets changed the world « The Geek Transition:

  8. Pingback: 10 Personal Post Secrets Revealed | 25ToFly

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s