I watch the Today Show sometimes when I get ready for work in the mornings. I used to watch the BNN- the Business News Network… but then I realized that my true destiny lies not in being a serious businesswoman, but in being a bored housewife with a day-drinking habit… just like my life model, Jackie Taylor:
Thanks for the advice Miss AA.
Anyway, yesterday there was a story on about this dude from Colorado named Derek Amato who suffered a brain injury after diving into the shallow end of the pool (yes, apparently stupid sh*t like this happens in real life too- not just in after school specials) and woke up from his concussion a regular reincarnation of Wolfgang Amadeus.
Yep- while this guy couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket before his accident, suddenly he could tickle the ivories like nobody’s business. And not only can he now play the piano- he miraculoulsy can play like 6 other instruments too, including the cello and the violin.
He apparently can’t read music, but sees these little “black and white squares” floating around in his head, and when he does, he knows that’s his cue to sashay on over to the nearest instrument and get his music on. Obviously the world needs to hear that sh*t because he’s on album #2 already. Good for you, Derek. Way to monetize that noise.
According to some pasty-ass doctor who looks like Powder, Amato has what is known as “acquired savant syndrome”. Which is really just fancy medical speak for his brain got all shook up and it changed things up in there. This syndrome is apparently super rare, and only 30 people in the world have ever been diagnosed with it.
If you ask me, I don’t think it’s a rare medical issue causing all this. I think its the magic superpowers eminating from all those sessy bracelets he wears.
Note to self: wear more bracelets.
With all the face-eating cannibals and body part-mailing psychos in the world, it’s nice to hear a heartwarming, (albeit, strange-as-f*&k) story like this for a change. Plus, my weird mind seriously loves this kind of sh*t. I thought about Yo Yo Ma over there all day yesterday, and more importantly, what superpowers the other 29 people in the world with this syndrome have developed. If it was me who dove into the shallow end of a pool (which, not gonna lie, is sounding more and more appealing every day) I’d want to wake up and be able to teleport. That way I could avoid being hot and having to deal with all the crazies on my way to work in the mornings. Or maybe I’d choose to be really good at water sports. I don’t know. Obviously this is going to require more thought.
In the meantime, I hope Derek learns how to play this song.. because it should be his theme music, and they should play it everywhere he goes: