Culture / Entertainment / Food / Humour / Life

A Very Urban Long Weekend

While I would by no means consider myself a Monarchist, I will admit that the Royal Family has done a lot for society. Specifically, Queen Victoria.

Why Vicky? You might ask. Well, for starters, she:

  • was the longest reigning Monarch in history, and ruled the British Empire  during its most glorious and powerful days:

(Just kidding, I bet it was more like this:)

  • harnessed her baby making prowess to produce 9 offspring, which ultimately resulted in one Prince Hot Ginge:

  • gave mad face all day, every day.. like in this photo:

Bitch is not amused, so you might as well just stop asking

  • inspired really fancy and uncomfortable chairs like these ones:

  • and- most importantly, gave us Canadians a brief reprieve from the soul-sucking power of The Man and an excuse to get Sunday-drunk each third Monday in May for the past 150 years. That’s right, my friends- I’m talkin about Victoria Day. Or, if you like to keep it kla$$y, the May 2-4 weekend.

So this past weekend, while pretty much every other pretentious urbanite and their Goldendoodle packed up their Tumi luggage and coordinated casual wear and headed to their million-dollar Muskoka “cottages”, I chose to stay here in Toronto, instead. Why? because I had work committments am a renegade. Yep. bet you couldn’t tell, but under my suit, I’m hiding my own drum.  And guess what? I march to the beat of that sh*t.

My best friend was here in the city too, and we decided to make the most of our long weekend by drinking excessively exploring everything Toronto had to offer.  We started out Friday night with drinks at Lee , a Toronto hotspot owned by famous foodie and Top Chef  alum Susur Lee.

I’m a big Top Chef fan, and have been to Lee a couple of times before, but have never actually caught a glimpse of Susur himself.. so this time, I was really hoping to.

I mean c’mon.. just look at that hair.

While we pretended to be fabulous and sipped on $20 cocktails, I told my friend Lia about an article I had read recently naming Susur’s undergrad-aged sons as two of Toronto’s 30 Most Eligible Men. The bartender I guess had overheard me, and looked up from the ginger he had been muddling with unbelievable precision, and said:  “there’s one of them right there“.

photo via National Post

I turned around to see the older of the two (with the shaved head, above) waiting on the table behind us, and almost choked on my Saketini. Think Taylor Lautner meets David Beckham, but in an attainable sort of way. So what if he was only 21? Don’t they always say there’s something sexy about an older woman? I was admiring his tattoo sleeve and daydreaming about us laughing over Japanese Margharitas and listening to Motown on vinyl as he taught me how to Julienne vegetables, when I heard a voice snap me back to reality:

“Hello”, it said.

I turned on my stool to see Susur standing beside me,  in all his ponytailed, chef-coated glory.

I was like:

Now, let me just preface this by saying that I am from a small town.. and up until this point, the biggest “celebrity” I had ever encountered was Bubbles from The Trailer Park Boys. And I didn’t even actually talk to him.. I just admired his bottle-cap glasses from across the room.

Anyway, I could feel my cheeks burning red, and after what felt like an eternity, managed to squeak out an awkward “hello” before burying my face in my drink and praying for the floor underneath my barstool to open up and swallow me.

I’d hate to see what happened if I ever met an actual celebrity. I’d probably throw up on their shoes.

Anyway, this post was really supposed to be a summary of my entire weekend.. but somewhere between the wing-backed Victorian furniture and that highly unflattering  John C. Reilly gif, I guess the wheels sort of fell off somewhere. (I blame the  tequila.  That shit’ll get you every time.)

I guess you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to read about Part Two of my epic Victoria Day Weekend adventures… and after the quality piece of literature you’ve just read… well, I can’t see how you wouldn’t be dying to come back. Just don’t all come crashing the site at once now, ok?… my server can’t handle that sh*t.

Ok, I’m really done now.

Question of the Day:   Have you ever met a celebrity??

And if so, did you play it cool, or did you channel Captain Awkward of the Awkward Brigade like I did?

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20 thoughts on “A Very Urban Long Weekend

  1. Yes, I’ve met a few celebrities including Tom Chaplin who is my cousins brother in law. Tom is the lead singer of British band Keane and I adore them.

    Also, I went to a writing session four years a go with a famous writer and today I went to another one with famous writer Jean Ure.

    Great post, as always!

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    • I LOVE TOM CHAPLIN!!! Keane is my favourite band- I’m going to see them in June and I can’t wait. If I get to meet him I will be a hardcore stuttering mess… at least it’ll be blogworthy ;)

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      • Really? Tom’s pretty awesome, he held a fire work display at my cousin and Tom’s sister’s wedding which was amazing.

        Well, if it’s blogworthy then that’s all the more reason to meet him, hey? :lol:

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  2. So, this is your post, your blog, so it would be unsightly of me to one-up you with the list of celebrities I’ve met…. however, I’m feeling rather peckish, so I’ll indulge in my small, yet significant list of celebrities I’ve encountered:

    Elke Sommer. I know!
    Donald O’Connor. I know!
    Gregory Hines. Actually, I didn’t meet him, he just sat across the aisle from me on a non-stop from Denver to Boston (I was on standby, so I got my first class seat for much cheaper than he did!). He slept most of the way, with his mouth open and tongue sticking out. I know!

    So, while you’re gnashing your teeth with jealousy, I’ll bid you good day. :-)

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    • ok so I wasn’t gonna reveal this, but because you’ve gone all Boy One-Uppy Wonder on me, I will tell you that I had a SECOND celebrity sighting this weekend. (full disclosure: my definition of “celebrity” is one of the looser ones I’ve heard)
      Guess you’ll just have to wait to find out who it was…. ;)

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  3. First of all, BreezyK, I’d like to say that I LOVE your blog! Everything you write has a way of literally making me laugh out loud. I have met a bonafied celebrity… Anthony Bourdain. I went to one of his shows, and (with VIP tickets) went backstage for hor d’ourves and a meet-and-greet. Although I had prepared by antagonizing over the perfect witty, intellectual thing to say, I gushed briefly (about what, I can not recall… Its a blur) before cutting myself off before giggling and professing my undying love for him. I’m glad I stopped.

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    • Thank you so much!! You don’t know how much I love hearing that. And Anthony Bourdain is legit.. I kind of wish you had professed your undying love because then you two might have ended up together and been some sort of celebrity chef/blogging power couple. It could still happen.

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  4. Haha I loved this. I highly enjoyed the inclusion of those ugly ass chairs in the post. Also…did you tell me you met Lee and Sons? Really just son. Because I don’t see how that couldn’t have come up, in 8 hours of sun time. I think you should also talk about the waitress (not the unfriendly one) at GE (to keep things covert here…).

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    • haha Dom! I love it. I know I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about that- obviously it took me several days to process it all.
      And yes- I will definitely talk about the HOTTEST GIRL IVE EVER SEEN IN REAL LIFE in a subsequent post ;)

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  5. ‘member when we went to Lee and I was all skittish because I was really REALLY wishing he’d be there that night, but I was also nervous that he might be there that night??! And as it turned out, he wasn’t and I ended up drinking too much because I was so disappointed… Lol

    Anyway- I’m jealous, but happy for you. Did the ceiling open up and beams of sparkly light shine down upon him? Is he as hot as looks on tv? I heard he’s quite tall… Is it true?

    Susur!!!!!! His sons look a LOT like him!

    I loved the video clip, by the way!! Hilarious!

    Celebrities I’ve met… Hmm- well, bubbles played in the band Sandbox with my friends so I know him.

    I’m drawing a blank, but I’ve met many people who were celebrities in their own minds!! Does that count??

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    • yes I wish you got to meet him too!
      And FYI- you never need a reason to drink too much. Not when you’re with me, anyway.
      You know me and I’m a bigtime blogging celeb (in my own mind) so I think that’s good.

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  6. I feel like everyone I know has either seen a celebrity or met them. I live in a place pretty frequented by celebrities, and other people have seen President Clinton, Kristen Bell, Will Ferrell, and some other well-known people, and I NEVER HAVE. Even on Valentine’s Day Val Kilmer was at the same restaurant as my boyfriend and I but I didn’t see him because things were in the way. I was very frustrated. :( BUT that is awesome you got to see him :)

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    • I would LOVE to meet Will Ferrell… or anyone who is on/has ever been on SNL for that matter. I would totally start geeking out and quoting back my favourite skits to them and sh*t would get real awkward, real fast.
      You probably don’t want to see Val in the flesh anyway.. he’s really let himself go. Unless this was during his batman days. Then yeah- I’d be pissed about missing him too ;)

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  7. Hmmm, for some reason I thought Victoria day was an Australian thing. Queen Vic is proper awesome though, she belched them Germans from her womb like there was no tomorrow.

    I once saw Richard Branson when he was opening a new Virgin Megastore near where I live. This would have been around 1997 or so.

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    • she really is…I can just tell she’s the sort of broad who would have thrown a shoe at you if you looked at her the wrong way. And I like that.
      Richard Branson eh.. that’s a pretty good one. What was his hair like in person?

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    • haha yes are you a TPB fan?? When I lived in Halifax I used to see him and the gang around sometimes- never had the courage to talk to him though. Thanks for stopping by :)

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      • Of course! One of the best Canadian comedies of the 2000s. I love the fact that they didn’t try to hide that it was set in Nova Scotia, like a lot of other Canadian TV shoes. Pet peeve of mine. ;P

        Like

  8. Pingback: It’s a Hipster’s World… We Just Live in it « The Camel Life

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