Missed Connections

A few weeks back, while catching up on all of my favourite high brow, intellectual publications (read: Buzzfeed, dlisted, Best Week Ever, etc.), I stumbled across Mashable.com’s list of 2011′s Top 12 Missed Connections Ads on Craigslist.

If you’re not familiar with Missed Connections (as I wasn’t before reading this) it’s a feature on Craiglist where you can post a message to someone you recently saw or briefly met but didn’t get a name or contact information.

Obviously this type of thing would speak to my perpetually (and well documented) lonely soul, so I clicked on the link and browsed through some of the ads.  Most of them were hilarious (e.g. “You were dressed as Einstein. You jumped off the stage into my arms. I held you for an almost awkward amount of time.“), which  inspired me to log onto Toronto’s Missed Connections page to check out “just a few more”.

Guys, a word to the wise- don’t try this one at home. Unless you want to be sucked into an internet time warp vortex and never see any of your friends or family again…because believe me when I say, that sh*t is addictive.

This little boy from the 90's could be you.

The ads ran the gamut:

From funny:

You told me that whool doesn’t breathe… – m4w – 25

Me: Random dude in the coat check line. You approached me and told me that my shirt was the wrong shirt for the event. I’m glad I wore that shirt You were right about it looking like a frontal half sweatter vest. You were right.

You: One word: Phenomenal. Second word?: Wow

To sweet:

We work together at a store downtown – m4w – 29 (Downtown Toronto)

.. your first name starts with S and mine starts with A….  I’m not 100% sure what my intentions are S, I just know that we get along well, and I would like to talk to you more outside of work. If you know this is about you, let me know how you feel.  HINT: I bought you a personal Hawaiian pizza a few weeks back for your dinner. [Ed note: nothing says romance like a personal Hawaiian pizza....]

 

To just plain sad:

Miss you

always.

 

Checking the missed connections ads quickly became part of my regular internet routine. Glass of wine and shards of dignity in hand, I would peruse the new ads each night while a soundtrack of ”Eleanor Rigby” played on a continuous loop in my head.

 

It sort of became like my own personal version of a reality show, playing out in real-time over my computer. Plus, it felt sort of  like a romantic throwback to a simpler time- before the age of speed dating, facebook and other instantaneous forms of connecting with people……. it was akin to throwing out a message in a bottle…. only with incrementally more aim.

 

 

My favourite thing is when someone responds to an ad. Yes, I’m aware that the responder was probably not the intended recipient… and, let’s be honest, they probably just wanted casual sex.. but in my head, “Girl with the green backpack“ was totally Kate Hudson… and “M, 27” was obviously Matthew McCoughnahey, and they would fall madly in love. Sure, there would be a few missteps along the way- some third-act misunderstanding or complicating circumstance that would result in a temporary fallout….but after a lost-love montage set to some Sad F.M. song, ultimately both would realize they were meant to be together. A grandiose love declaration would inevitably follow (perhaps hijacking the mic at a mutual friend’s wedding.. or maybe a flash mob), and everyone would live happily ever after.

 

……Wow, I really went for it on the whole “Romantic Comedy” analogy there, eh?

 

 

Moving on.

Another reason why all of this resonated with me is because of this post, where I wrote about the fact that we all crave human interaction- it’s just a spectrum of how much.

Well, just like conversational lingering and making unsolicited small talk with the cashier at Loblaws, I think posting a Missed Connection is just another way to reach out to people in this lonely world. We’re all living on a prayer that we will one day miraculously be plucked from our urban obscurity and become someone special to someone- and this keeps that hope alive.

Plus, if we’re all craving human interaction, then we’re definitely all craving a serendipitous encounter. I’d be lying if I said that in all of my Craigslist perusing, I wasn’t secretly hoping to find a post written for me. In my fantasy, this would involve being spotted reading some cool, yet mainstream-enough-to-be-approachable book at a coffee shop.

E.g. “You: reading High Fidelity over a Grande Americano…. Me: Smitten. Let’s share that Americano next time, and discuss which came first? The music or the misery…” 

Thank you, Nick Hornby.

No luck yet though. Well, except for this one, which was clearly written about me:

Your Writing

is so amazing & beautiful. I’m grateful to find a place to experience all your thoughts, feelings and great wonders. Don’t ever stop baby!

I won’t, baby… I won’t.

Question of the Day: Have you ever experienced a “Missed Connection?”

P.S. As you may have noticed on the sidebar, The Camel Life now has it’s own facebook page! Like it if you want to get updates on all my new posts (and of course, my abject loneliness).

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