The Best of Both Worlds with BreezyK

Sometimes I feel like I am living a double life.

Not in the made for tv-movie, “suburban soccer mom who exotic dances and turns tricks in a Chilis parking lot to support her coke habit …. and is also a man” sort of way, though. It’s a bit more subtle than that.

Though I’ve been feeling it for a while now- I really started thinking more about this  “double-life” idea just the other day.

It was a particularly busy day at work, filled with meetings and a dinner in the evening- all of which requiring me to be in full-on, suited, corporate-mode. I also had tickets that night to see the band Tennis perform at Toronto’s Horseshoe Tavern, and was praying my dinner would be over in time to make it.  

The dinner ran long- as they often do- and with every passing self-congratulatory speech,  I began nervously checking my watch with increased frequency, worried about missing the opener. Finally, we were discharged, and I rushed back to my office where I had a change of clothes stashed in order to switch into something more “concert appropriate”.

Armed with my skinny jeans, boots and oversized scarf, I  rushed into the women’s washroom to change. And as I awkwardly struggled to button up my jeans and generally indie-fy myself in a too-small bathroom stall, I realized the hilarity of the situation. I am totally having a Clark Kent moment right now, I thought to myself.

And it really was… except  that this was a bathroom stall rather than a phone booth… and instead of super-human strength and leaping over tall buildings, my only “super powers” include being annoyingly sarcastic, and functional alcoholism. I’m guessing Clark Kent also never had  to worry about the cleaning lady walking in while he was applying (way too much) eyeliner and mistakenly thinking he was a lady of the night. (to her, this probably seemed like more of a “Pretty Woman” moment).

So yeah, like Clark Kent, who by day is a mild-mannered reporter, by day I live my own buttoned down, corporate existence:

Exhibit A: Corporate Breezyk. The huge zit on my chin and my hastily applied lipstick say "whaaatup"

But by night, I’m a wannabe hipster; attending concerts at questionable establishments, and brunching at unmarked hole-in-the-walls with mismatched cutlery and dinnerware. (It’s ok though. It’s ironic).

Exhibit B: post 9-5 BreezyK. Let's pretend my dancing in this pic is also "ironic". That would be far less embarrassing.

Plus, on top of all that, I’ve got this blog, where I air all of my dirty laundry and innermost neuroses share my super insightful thoughts on the world with all of you guys.  

By no means do I think any of this is novel, or that my situation is unique. I think this is something many people struggle with-  who we are at work is often very different from who we are at home with our families, when we’re out getting crunk with our friends, or even our blog personas. We all have our own little inconsistencies, it’s just a question of how much you can reconcile them.

I take comfort in the fact that none of us are alone in this,and maybe it’s true that to a certain extent, we all lead double lives. In fact, here are some famous examples:

Hugh Jackman

The Australian hearthrob, famous for playing such roles as Wolverine in X-Men and a robot-boxing-promoter in Real Steel, is also a tony-award winning broadway singer, dancer and actor. This dichotomy has become so famous that it even now forms the basis of a recurring SNL skit,  “The Best of Both Worlds with Hugh Jackman” where Hugh (played by Andy Samberg) interviews other famous guests with contradictory personalities.

James Franco

Franco, most famous for being adorable and hilarious in such stoner comedies as Freaks and Geeks and Pineapple Express, also has, like 75 university degrees (and is currently obtaining his PhD in English from Yale), and is a published short-story writer and artist.   

Geena Davis

Who knew that Thelma was also a women’s olympic archery team semi-finalist?  

So moral of the story? We’re all frauds. But hey, at least it makes things more interesting.

Question of the Day: Are you living a double life?

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23 thoughts on “The Best of Both Worlds with BreezyK

  1. I am not sure how many times I have become one with a bathroom stall, or freaked out the poor soul in the next stall with my changing shenanigans. I think it is due to working ridiculously long hours, and attempting to have some sort of life outside.

  2. Absolutely. Case in point. I am gimping my way down the hallway of my office in flats instead of heels clutching an ice pack and a giant bottle of water.

    Co-worker: Run too hard last night?
    Me: No. Roller derby.
    Co-worker: No seriously. What did you do? You look like you got hit by a truck.
    Me: No seriously. Roller derby.
    Co-worker: There is no way.
    Me: Want to see the rink rash and the outline of my skate wheels on my ass?

    Double life.

    And I also have to add…I literally snorted my latte all over my keyboard and freshly pressed corporate appropriate suit after the first paragraph today. I love you.

  3. So glad this wasn’t about a the Hannah Montana song of the same name. Don’t ask how I know that…

    I wonder which version of you is the “real” you. It would have to be the drunk dancing one. Like you wouldn’t hide something that you’re faking, right?

    We’ve all got a double life to some extent. There are people we want to like us for who we are and there are people we want to like us based on much we really don’t care what other people think about us. Keep the bathroom stalls handy. There’s no need to combine the two lives.

  4. Hell YES, I am living a double life! I’m an ironic, organic-food-loving, super-left vegetarian by day, and a stealth watcher of “The Bachelor” by night… well, Monday nights, anyway. How embarrassing! :(

    • me too!! How excited are you for the Women Tell all special tonight?? (even though it’s going to just be “The Women tell all about how much they hate Courtney”) haha

  5. I am a ‘used-to-be’ kinda hipster, now a family guy, dad and aspiring career professional and through out all I don’t think the real me has an opportunity to show his ugly head. How many times do you think to yourself at work, “these people don’t even know what I am all about?” Clark Kent indeed…with a functional alcoholism. Great post Breezy! East to relate to.

  6. Ahh BreezyK. You crack me up. Since I know from your other posts that you are an atty (I didn’t dream that did I?), by day I am a law office manager (ha! I know your type lol!) and by night a Harley driving biker beyatch. Okay, not really. By night, a soccer mom, band concert watcher wino! Oh, come on, I need wine just to recover from my day job and it sure comes in handy for middle school band concerts!!

  7. I too lead a double life… In my ‘main’ life, if you will, I’m humbly lower-middle class, living in a lower-middle class neighborhood. In my secret life, I’m a millionaire. Shhhh… don’t tell. I’d have to give up all my poverty if people knew. :-)

    P.S. It takes a special kind of brave to post dancing photos.

    • special kind of “brave”, or special kind of “desperate attention seeking”?
      I think a millionaire second life is the way to go… do you have trouble hiding your money tree from your neighbours tho?

      • We don’t have a money tree … that would be too snobbish, really. I mean, I wouldn’t want my neighbors to think I was rubbing their noses in their poverty. So, we do things the old fashioned way: hide a bit under a few floorboards, I’ve got some plastic veggies in the fridge that are stuffed with a few bucks, we’ve got some hid in the potato patch out back…

  8. I am super jealous of your double life and wish I had the stamina to do the same. I am known on occassion to run home, change and dash downtown for pinot and goodtimes on a thursday night, but I would only do that for pinot and awesome people…which clearly I don`t have enough of in life.

    As for the `Kevin McAllister` situation you thought you may have been having from this post, I think you should be fine, although a stern look is entirely possible.

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