Humour / Life

Don’t Save Your Best Self until Saturday

Giving a shit can be really hard sometimes. Particularly when you’re tired, or have been working a lot of long hours, like I have been lately.  The last thing I want to do when I get up in the morning these days is spend an hour making myself look pretty for work- missing precious moments of sleep while I attempt to apply the perfect amount of eyeliner to look presentable yet unfloozylike; and agonize over life-altering questions, like “Can I wear this black skirt with these brown shoes?” (Answer: Yes. They are both neutrals. Just ask Stacey London).

This was not always the case for me. I used to care- I used to care a lot. When I first started at my job, I was so excited by the prospect of dressing up for work- mixing fashion pieces and cool accessories with “business” dress- I’d even lay awake at night planning my outfits for the week. But as time went on, and the number of hours I worked increased, my ability to care about what I look like (along with my resolve to live) weakened.  Slowly, I began trading in my  cute pencil-skirt and jewel toned blouse combos for  oversized dresses and pants, so as not to restrict the slow and steady expansion of my mid-section (a byproduct of a  regular diet of firm food and stress-induced Hagen Dazs/Fuzzy Peach binges). 

It looks this good on me when I wear it too, I swear!

I describe the fact that I wear almost no makeup to work anymore as  “an effort to be more professional”, and the fact that I’ve grown accustomed to throwing my second-day unwashed hair in a high-bun as “inspired by Kourtney Kardashian” – when really both of these choices could be more accurately characterized as “bitch just gave the hell up”. Often, I lament the fact that I’m not a boy. They just have it so much easier. I mean, sure they’ve got the whole  tie thing to contend with (Windsor? Or Half-Windsor?) …  but still, I’d take that over nylons and hair torturing devices anyday.

I have rationalized my recent choice to stop trying with the fact that my line of work involves intense hours, and can be extremely isolating. Often the only person I’ll see in a day is the woman who cleans my garbage out after everyone else has gone home for the night… and while I’ve been trying  to get her to notice my emerald green nail polish for about a week now, bitch ain’t biting. I find myself wondering-  is it really worth torturing my tired eyes with  eyelashcurlers, pointy pencils and threatening mascara wands if no one is ever going to see it?…. If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it even make a sound?

I have a friend who has been going through this same thing  and recently told me about her efforts to overcome it by taping a note to her bathroom mirror that says “don’t save your best self until Saturday”.  She says this always  inspires her to try to look good in the mornings now. I’ll admit I questioned the effectiveness of this as a  motivational tactic at first- but  this morning, facing my dull and world-weary reflection in the mirror, I thought to myself: “Really, breezyk? what have you got to lose here?”.

I ran over to my desk and scribbled those 7 profound little words on a post-it note, and stuck it deliberately onto my mirror.  I looked at it long and hard, willing myself to feel something- some kind of desire to try harder. But unfortunately all I felt was an overwhelming desire to punch it. 

I ripped the note off, threw it in the garbage and sighed. Obviously some contingency planning is in order here. Maybe I should just do a full-on style makeover and become an indie girl. They don’t try. Actually, I bet they do try. I bet they try really hard to make it look like they don’t try. Sigh. Beyonce, I think you have it right on more than one level:

 

Question of the Day: How much effort do you put in for work in the morning?

Boys- Do I have it right? Do you really have it easier?

P.S. Thank you all for your awesome entries on the Lucky Charms Contest! You bitches LOVE marshmallows, and I love it.  There can only be one winner tho- and that is (drumrolllllllll)

Margie!!

Margie said in response to my marshmallow question:

 “I like to eat them with every bite. That way every bite is just as good as the first. Love your blog!”
 
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE. (Jokes, it was a randomized selection, but seriously Margie. Keep the compliments coming.) E-mail me at thecamellife@gmail.com with your address so I can send you your prize!
 

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17 thoughts on “Don’t Save Your Best Self until Saturday

  1. Breezy I suffer from the same thing… usually for about a week every month (coinciding with other monthly girl-only rubbish) sometimes lasting all month. The note thing wouldn’t work for me either. What does?

    1. Sexy underwear – I feel I owe it to them to make the rest of me look as good as I feel underneath.
    2. Sexy shoes – who cares about eyeliner when the red bottoms click click and make the legs look great?

    Once again… this only works sometimes. If I want it to. So maybe it doesn’t work at all…

  2. I live for comfort, so I never wear hose, skirts or heels. And I love me some cotton. I will style my hair daily, but wear minimal makeup- usually eyeliner and mascara. My new thing is earrings.

    PS. So glad I won the pot of gold! Super excited!

    • I wish I never had to wear heels! It feels like some form of corporate foot binding ritual. I’m all about earrings lately too- especially big studs. They never get in your way during the day- but are still a great fashion piece.
      Congrats on the basket- I’m sort of jealous myself, as that box of lucky charms has been winking at me from my counter all week! ;)

  3. I won’t lie I put very little effort into getting ready for work. I’m not huge on makeup because I never did it as a younger teen, and I have a set uniform of a polo shirts and not-jean pants. So essentially I get up, eat, throw clothes on, and trudge over to set up many, many pastries.

    My desired career won’t have many needs either… No need for a zookeeper, farmer, or veterinarian to look sexilicious. Is it just cause I’m lazy or does this make sense?

    • haha “not-jean pants” I love it. What about jeggings? Do they count? I recently bought a pair of black cigarette pants with a little stretch in them and they are amazingly comfortable. I try to wear them to work as often as is socially acceptable….
      And this does not mean you are lazy at all- it means you’re awesome. I want to be a zookeeper!

      • Hmmm, I’m not sure about jeggings… But I don’t have any, and I’m extremely poor so I doubt I’ll find out any time soon. But I’ll definitely inquire. Honestly I work at Panera Bread, so I don’t think they want tight clinging clothes. One of my old managers used to give me dirty looks because I hate buttoned polos so I always where tanks underneath; I have one polo that plunges… a lot, and I’m at the point where my feminely attributes burst the buttons open. Buuuut again I cannot afford new clothes so I made them work appropriate and I have worn this outfit many times and honestly it isn’t provocative at all. But I don’t want to risk toe-ing the line any more.

        My entire thought through this is I need money for clothes shopping. >,<

  4. 1. I hate hate hate the combo of black and brown. HATE it. Lol.
    2. I don’t spend much time getting ready for work. I wear dress pants (usually black or grey) and the first work appropriate shirt to my hand. It’s usually one of those basic 3/4 or long-sleeved shirts from F21 that are cotton, but they sort of fit to your shape. I LOVE them. Makeup is a no go. My face is fine. My hair? Wet, throw on some moisturizer and go. It’s only like 2 inches at the longest I let it get. I’m pretty low maintenance. And I love it.
    3. When I’m going out, I don’t spend much more time than when I’m going to work. I put a little extra product in my hair to keep it shiny and healthy looking. Makeup? Generally, it’s just powder, a little blush, mascara, eyeliner if I feel like it, and gloss. It’s a 5 minute face, really.

    • haha Stacey and Clinton need to get their hands on you!! jokes, I kind of hate black and brown too unless its like a caramel coloured brown or a tan… absolutely not chocolate. You can’t persuade me on that one.
      I have never tried these F21 long sleeved cotton shirts, but now I think I have to… I love F21, except for the lines. And the sales associates…. and I wish I could be more low maintenance! In all honesty, my definition of wearing “very little makeup” is still probably 10x more than the average person would wear on a daily basis…. but still 10x less than a Kardashian sister. So I think it’s ok.

      • Oh. You’ve got it all wrong. I REFUSE to shop in person. Click. Click. Click. *whips out c/c* Click. Click. Click. *answers door* Oh, look! It’s all that stuff I bought last week! WOOOOOO! Lol.

        As long as you’re wearing less makeup than a Kardashian, you are FINE. LOL.

  5. yes yes and yes. I stopped caring long ago about my work attire. Mostly because my job involves ultrasounding old people’s groins and feet all day.
    But one day last December, we happened to be hiring for new staff and the most beautiful man walked in with a suit and a resume in hand. I wish I had at least had lip gloss on. Goes to show you just never know.

    Since then, I still dont give. But I do make a little more of an effort now. At least for myself, if not for the numerous possiblities of what might be if I don’t.

    • Your job sounds hot.
      Stuff like that always happens to me on the days I choose to not give a shit… like I’ll find out that its actually the day of the annual holiday party…. or I have to go to a client meeting… or Surprise! its the day they are scouting for ANTM cycle 16 at the office! (ok so this last one is only in my dreams, but still.. you get the picture).

  6. Giving a shit is just as hard for boys, breezyk… if not harder because we don’t really know what we’re doing. Washing/toning/moisturizing, picking out a matching shirt/tie combo, etc. just takes us longer :(

    • Sad face indeed ,Tomas… that does sound like a lot more problems than simply full vs. half windsor.! I wish you all the best in your endeavours at giving a shit though- the fact that you’ve considered half of the things on your above list make you already better off than most guys ;)

  7. Life’s a catwalk for me… unless no one gets to see me. But when I leave the house, I’ll wear some nice clothes and I’ll have spent time on putting on makeup. It always makes me feel better because I make the best out of my face. Yay!

  8. Pingback: Negative Nancy tries “The Secret” (Spoiler Alert: Doesn’t Work) « The Camel Life

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